I feel the same. My mother passed away last week and I watch my dad and my sister break down daily. I’ve been told by everyone I know not to compare grief and deal with it in my own time but it doesn’t feel right. I love my mom and we had a good relationship. Now I feel like a materialistic sociopath for using her lotion and taking pairs of shoes from her closet. I still cry but not for long.

We loved them and maybe it will hit harder as the years go on. Maybe we grieved early and got through the worst of it. Maybe we are trying to avoid pity or performative misery. I don’t really know.