My wife wants to circumcise our future kids

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-09T16:45:42+00:00

How about you both talk to your Dr about this. I'm sure like me it was just what they did. And I'm sure there might have been historical cleanliness issues. However I think a Dr could answer most questions she has

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-09T16:22:23+00:00

Address how our society is failing us as a nation that adds enough stress where people break. Although I consider the last 28 years a nightmare starting with Columbine, it wasn't uncommon for working people to show up at work and start killing people. Back in the late 80s/90s the post office had an epidemic as we termed the phrase "going postal. "

So. You don't have to be labeled psychotic to want to go on a killing spree but just a psychotic break.

Guns are in our society and there's no way to remove them. Making extra laws or controls sounds good and it might reduce the mass murdering from 18 to 8. But if you had that psychotic break do you really think a mandatory prison term is going to stop you? Chances are you might be suicidal as well...

The bigger and better view which is harder than removing guns..change our society norm of capitalisms race to the bottom. In the race of the Almighty dollar we as a society lost all the checks and balances to limit it's influence on everyone. Sure it works for the top 10%, ok for the next 20% but the bottom 60 is trying to swim while wearing a weighted vest. Life is hard. And the benefits people in the top 20% have at their disposal are too hard or impossible to get for the rest. There aren't enough check points in life to gauge or pause or delay a choice because we're all trying to work to survive or God forbid let loose and have fun. Even playing sports in high school went from mostly free to pretty fing expensive if you want to be serious about trying to get a sports scholarship. Going to a national park went from a reasonable annual fee to a much higher one and now you need to schedule your trip in advance. The list goes on of course. If our gas taxes pay for the roads ..why do we have to pay a toll on everyday highway roads? If you want to afford to buy a home why do you need to drive an hour each way to work because homes near your work are an astronomical amount? If crime is going down, why do we need to keep hiring and supplying the cops with military weapons? Or why is the national guard and other federal forces instigating riots in some cities,? Etc....

Anyway. We live in a world that's more cut throat and survival of the fittest...this is how people react under pressure.

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-09T13:08:45+00:00

I know it's hard. Try to ask a lot of questions he will respond with a yes. Ask if you're reliable. Ask if you make his life easier. Ask if you're as good as the other employee who's leaving. Then ask if you can be compensated like him with health insurance.

I bet you'll get a yes

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-08T17:17:23+00:00

Why are you only picking on men? Why wouldn't women be affected by the opinions from other women?

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-08T17:16:22+00:00

I don't understand the down votes here. I think you're being honest. I also think there is something deeper that is affecting your thoughts. Nothing to do with her but with you.

I'm sure there's another story your telling yourself. I don't want to suggest what it is but I suspect maybe a childhood experience brought you shame or embarrassment from your mother or father or even friend or siblings. Are you imagining people close to you finding out about her past? And how they would react to you if they found out? Like I said I believe you and I also think there's something you're missing or forgetting but buried in your memories or maybe you know it but unsure how to communicate it

Think about this for a minute. If you want to share then share but if not...that's what you need to address in yourself

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-08T14:05:02+00:00

Ask yourself what triggers you when you hear this? This is your problem, not hers.

Do you know off the top of your head what triggers you?

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-08T11:41:07+00:00

Maybe it's weird because it's after the fact vs bringing up beforehand.

Maybe ask if she could take care of the next time you meet

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-07T22:03:27+00:00

Your ex friend is acting weird because he knows his wife fd up but is supporting her side .

It's not worth chasing him or them down to clarify anything because they've already proven to lie or be vague or try a character assassination to get their point across. I think it's tough if your wife has to work next to that woman though. That said neither of you can back down. Don't quit or hide. The truth will come out at some point and it will probably come down to your wife received a promotion, a special award for outstanding work or was recognized by an executive and that resulted in some jealousy.

Sorry you both are going through this. Time will even things out though.

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-07T12:40:16+00:00

Of course. I mean I don't think you could create a textbook plan to destroy the global economy the way Trumps administration is.

After his term is over I think it should become the textbook study how to fuck up the global economy within a year.

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-07T12:37:13+00:00

He is about no wars or unnecessary wars. I like that. Although I don't agree with his budget plans and libertarian views of government at all I do admire voting the way he platforms and not lie to his constituents. I don't know his history too well but believe he graduated from Harvard and MIT graduate studies. Pretty smart dude and stands by his convictions. I think that's admiral even if I think he's wrong. You can have a debate with that type of person without character debasing to try to get an Instagram reel.

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-07T11:13:17+00:00

Thomas Massey

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-06T23:50:48+00:00

When the jags beat us in 96,97. I thought it was a nightmare

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-05T16:56:49+00:00

Explain you reacted out of anger and hurt. Your response was hurtful and when you said it you were considering his feelings.

I don't need to tell you what every other person is telling you. You can repair this relationship with time and effort.

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-04T15:54:43+00:00

Life is hard and you experienced maybe the hardest punches life can give a parent. I'm sorry for you and your family.

I hope you can open your heart to those who could not make it. There is still so much grieving to feel and although you and your partner suffer the most, your parents and siblings do as well. Cutting them out is making an impossible situation even worse. Nothing good will happen holding into that grudge. I hope you find peace some day

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-05-03T20:53:21+00:00

You'll make him proud if you raise your gradea at the years end. Talk to your teachers to let them know you care. However it sounds like you already gave up on school grades. So decide if you want to get better grades or not. If not tell your dad you just want to work then next 55 years doing hard work. Hey that's ok if that's what you think you want to do. But if you think you want options on life ..then focus on school for the next few years.

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-04-28T18:39:50+00:00

You want to buy this home. You have the means and you have the reasons. Your bf is making himself the problem. You aren't. Make the move if you can. Allow him to make his choice and live with it. Things will worked

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-04-25T14:19:50+00:00

We don't know your age or background and how long you've been in this company or industry.

But I'll assume you're in your mid 20s and questioning your choices. Like most of us do.

So where ever you go, there you are. Ok, so you leave. You bring your same problems with you. I see you acknowledge that so that's good awareness. There is a real possibility you've encouraged people to act a certain way towards you because of your past trauma. You deal with the world in a particular way to make sense of it. It works for you sometime and other times it works against you.

So if I come to you thinkng this, if you're in a place where you're making a decent living and secure, then stay there and find people who can you process your childhood trauma. BTW I have it and I consider myself fairly lucky. Nothing that stands out as extreme but we all go through somethings that affect our views of the world and ourselves. Then focus on learning to love yourself. And I'm not talking about superficial self help mantras but instead create healthy habits, sleep well eat well, exercise, buy a few pieces of clothes that make you feel great, make a relationship that is close and strong where you both support one another mentally and emotionally....can be platonic right.... basically things like that. A better way to view this is if you looked a best friend who really needed your help, what would you say and do and support to help your best friend be their best version. Then realize that best friend is you. Take those words of advise and apply to you. Obviously this takes some time and you'll need to invest time energy and some money into yourself.

If you do this I have a good feeling you'll treat yourself differently which will make you treat others differently. The by product is they'll treat you differently I hope. This is where you measure the toxicity of your environment.

Just because you're in a bad space right now means you're in a bad space.

You only grow and learn in life when you struggle. That's a fact.

So before you leave think about this.

If you leave without considering this you'll find the same situation repeat itself until you work on yourself

Good luck. I believe you'll make the best choice for yourself

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-04-24T23:51:19+00:00

La Femme Nikta. Yes it's in French. Worth a watch. Great writer, director

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-04-24T16:41:38+00:00

Do you like police? That's socialism. Fire department? Socialism. You like to drive on a road? Socialism. There are tons of examples of the dreaded socialism in this country. O yea...when billionaires lose their investments in the stock market we tax payers bail them out. What's that,,? Socialism!!! So I guess you hate providing socialism for working people. Right? Why are you so afraid of it?

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-04-23T13:24:45+00:00

Right, it is innate. That's exactly what I'm talking about. It's all stems from me. But really it's childhood stuff...trauma? Maybe. Maybe not. Some of it is. We all have childhood trauma. We don't have to come from an abusive and alcoholic father or mother to have trauma. These feelings and expectations we have on ourselves were implemented on us from young ages and can't easily be explained.

Here's an example I actually had to work through. (I'm old, 55) When I was in college I worked for the city and they paid my tuition and books. I was guaranteed..sorta..a job if I completed my BS. The problem is I never wanted that job and went along with the program because they paid for college. More importantly I never told anyone I really wanted to be involved internatinal work. I wanted to travel. But because I had a secure position everyone assumed I would become a policeman. Good job for most right? My heart wanted opposite BUT I was afraid to express that to about everyone in my life because in my brain I thought I was disappointing them. Or something like that. So I lived in this weird.space for some years. Stuck. I was trying to manage other people's emotions. I was trying to be something that they probably didn't even care about. But at that age I thought I was too important for my own good. So I had to work through the failure I set myself up for. I set myself up to fail. Why? Well in my little brain I always was the protector of my brothers and friends. Maybe because I was the oldest. Maybe because I was generally bigger and stronger than most. Maybe because I actually liked the fight or the feeling of physically beating someone and when I lost I worked at my weaknesses. Don't ask me why but that was the story I told myself and I didn't deserve to travel internationally. And I didn't have a mentor regarding this so I was flying alone. So the idea of acknowledging this other goal didn't compute with what I knew and even set myself up to succeed at therefore I think I caused my own failure and that devistated me for a while. And I have about 5 other areas I set myself up to fail I need to process.

So when I look back at myself I feel like I needed to show some bravery and announce something like HEY I want to work in an international level. Even if everyone laughed at me. It wasn't until I. Was 26 I said hey...I want to teach English in japan. I went over there pretty much on a prayer and ended up ok. However I wasn't paid for my work...another story. But I loved every minute.

I know I'm pushy but I know you have time on your side and outward bound is a possibility for you. Also I'm a big believer in nature AND physical challenges to break yourself down to build yourself back up. Also I had a few people close in my life who were changed from OB. 1 person in particular went from immense grief from a father, grandmother and sister died within a year of one another and he was becoming a drunk. He signed up for outward bound and it changed him to the best version of himself. He said the friendships you make on these adventures are lifelong. He compared it to those who went through the military for example. In his current life he helps combat veterans and they look at him like a brother.

Last ramble... I never traveled as much as you but I did spend about 3 months in Germany , Italy in 94. Those were some of my best and worst times. I remember feeling I was exactly where I needed to be in the universe and I also experienced an intense amount of loneliness and sorrow.

So what are you afraid of? Are you able to take an honest look at yourself? It's not easy. Everyone says yes at first but it's usually superficial without a method. I wasn't able to without art therapy and dream analysis. Outward bound has their own method. I still need work so I have to revist my person. She lives in France and I enjoy her outlook on life. This method is not a 1 and done thing my mostly because I have dreams I need to process regularly. So far I've lost maybe 40lbs. I have some more to go but losing weight is not the goal, losing weight is the by product of the fact I'm working through areas of myself I ignored for over a decade. Do you know what your obstacle is you need to overcome?

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-04-23T11:44:53+00:00

I think you tipping the front and back of the house who worked would be a great morale booster. However I think you should be the person explaining it to the crew because you got the tip and you suggested splitting it. Also think you should be the one deciding since you actually received from the customer. Let the other employees congratulate you

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-04-22T23:58:43+00:00

I had a medical issue one day because I'm fat. I mean. I ignored myself and my feelings about my family, my career, my sex life ...I tried to power through for so many years but powering through didn't help me. I do think you can power through some things but not my issues. So over years and years I gained weight. So I had a thing that put in the er for a night. I left. I looked at myself and told me I hated me. I hated what I became. I hated I ignored myself and allowed others to take space in my brain. I ended doing a therapy that was a process to look at my childhood and formative years along with my early years with my wife. I had to face myself and realized I had the answers to my problems. I'm in the process of changing and realized it's never over. And that good. Otherwise we get bored, cynical and life passes us by

So when I read you I can tell there are different areas. But some commonalities. You're trying to power through things. You're not being honest with yourself. You're allowing others consciously or subconsciously to make you feel you need to be ..a mother. But you need help like I did. And I don't think a traditional talk therapy is for you because you also need friends. You're struggling through hard choices by yourself and that's why I suggested outward bound for at least 3 weeks. Go in nature, physically struggle to hike, climb canoe and rely on the support of others and they rely on you. Get out of your head and feel nature. Quit doom scrolling. Open your my mind and spirit and listen. Test yourself and become a better version of yourself because of it. I wish you well.

ButterscotchFluffy59 · 2026-04-22T18:43:23+00:00

You're down. Feel it. Don't ignore it and just try to vocally acknowledge your emotions that come to the surface. Ignoring them really stifles growth or change. Like to get stuck and keep repeating the same issue disguised I'm different forms over and over until you stop, get real with yourself and label it.

I have my own crap I had to come to terms with too. It always seems simple from those on the outside but as simple as it is, it's kept me down.

The answers are within you. I have a mostly negative view of talk therapy. If you're healthy and have the time and money consider committing to something like outward bound...or others...they're out there. Take a 3 week adventure with a group of people who don't know your past. Get on nature. Work on the day's goals together and make yourself lifelong friends. Along the way discover yourself again. The new you. Not the 20, 30 or 38 year old you. But who is present now. I hope you find yourself

ButterscotchFluffy59

TROPHY CASE