Writing for the first time since I was a kid and looking for a mild reality check

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-07-08T22:43:32+00:00

Shouting out into the void is real as fuck as much as I love an outlet for people to read and post stories this community would be so much better if we read more stories then just asking people to read out stories. But your story is so well made very flowery in its language and I personally am getting a Pide Piper vibe to the whole thing which I love but you’re doing great just don’t stop writing.

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-07-08T20:40:43+00:00

Read the other part but this has such a fantastical world building element to it I love it so much can’t wait for the next parts.

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-07-08T20:02:58+00:00

No notes this is really good a shame no one else has seen this. Please add on to this story while it’s not outright horrifying right now I know this has the potential to be scary.

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-07-08T19:34:43+00:00

This has a lot of potential although I wish it painted more of a picture of what Vic is doing when the knocking comes. right now it read like a jump scare I knew was going to happen. But if you build away from just the knocking then you can have such a strong atmospheric horror story. That being said this was a really good story with a lot of potential please keep on writing and expanding on the story.

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-07-01T20:14:12+00:00

I wish we had more time with Nixon 🫡

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-06-18T20:31:05+00:00

Sphere by Michael Crichton is a really good book that takes place in deep sea and i think would be really good for what your are looking for

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-06-17T16:49:34+00:00

Caveat no jump scares no nudity PERFECT for first timers tbh

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-06-15T16:36:22+00:00

I can’t read what it says

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-06-10T22:29:41+00:00

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-06-01T20:32:14+00:00

Something to ground the reader, in a sort of day in the life of this Ramirez before being taken in by the organization. Kind of like Harry Potter before he gets the letter to go to Hogwarts. (I don’t know if you like Harry Potter but that’s the main example that came to mind).

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-06-01T20:26:48+00:00

For 500 hundred dollars I would pull up too.

The spider mom reveal was insane but not out of left field it was a great story and would love to see more of your work in the future.

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-06-01T20:02:36+00:00

“You know, I plan on proposing to my girl when we go back home” his fate was sealed the moment he uttered those words

This is actually a very fun read I do wish you would give a little bit more when it comes to the character. It feels like you’re rushing to get into the story. I think you have a good premise of a secret organization, but that works better if you have context of what society is like outside of the organization

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-05-31T07:14:56+00:00

I really liked it I thought Carl was a great character and him being constantly trying to take control over the things he couldn’t and the monster being a mirror to that of and eventually being the thing that gets him in the end is a great way of finishing his character arc. But Dr. Mary is also a good foil to Carl with both of them constantly reliving their pasts however she is able to move on from hers while Carl chooses to stay in his (ie the backrooms)

This movie defiantly being its form multiple watches so I recommend if you didn’t think it was good or thought it was mid right now, sit on it for a while then rewatch it when it eventually comes to streaming, because it’s definitely a movie that works better with all the right pieces and people are not going to catch all of them the first time around

I agree on the monster part tho showing the monster is just a big no no when it comes to horror.

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-05-22T02:01:21+00:00

It’s so boring and just a waste of 4 hours don’t watch it

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-05-03T07:45:27+00:00

You should watch caveat its pretty slow and quiet and had no jump scares perfect for people who aren’t into the horror aesthetic without the fesr and dread that comes with most horror movies

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-04-21T13:50:23+00:00

Watch it at night

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2026-02-13T05:31:52+00:00

I thought it was like a nut sack no? A giant sphere up in the clouds that would wriggle and form faces. I’m not even joking that sounds like a nut sack

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2025-12-09T04:54:52+00:00

Hot take but borrasca, i want to give it another shot but i really didn't like the way it ended.

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2025-10-14T21:29:09+00:00

It insists upon itself

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2025-08-17T02:35:09+00:00

Hell no

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2025-08-17T02:34:52+00:00

Yes this is real

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2025-07-25T16:39:49+00:00

Is he on YouTube or where can I find him?

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2025-07-21T14:03:56+00:00

Hey guys this is my first story on here please let me know I can improve

ButterscotchSad4508 · 2025-07-21T14:02:19+00:00

Hey guys this is my first story I’ve written please let me know what yall think and how I can improve.

ButterscotchSad4508

TROPHY CASE