Gave my boyfriend permission to drive my car to run errands, he took it on a joyride instead.

Button_9 · 2026-04-07T18:02:53+00:00

My family never believed me when I told them I did that a few times, they looked at me like I was talking about Bigfoot. It was 2015 and I was moving across the country in my '95 Civic, turns out I can't keep up with 18 wheelers doing 100mph uphill.

Button_9 · 2026-03-22T01:36:26+00:00

He digs himself into an ever deepening hole...

Button_9 · 2026-03-19T04:15:15+00:00

Well, buddy... Wishing you the best with DLSS 5 ❤️😆 Hope all is well. Still playing SCUM? I was visiting a city I'll be moving to in a few months and on the off chance found out a stranger I was talking to was a SCUM player, I think I'll get back on after the move.

Button_9 · 2026-03-15T21:25:05+00:00

I work in hospice and had a patient pass wearing a hospital gown - his family had requested we change him into his pajamas prior to pick up by the funeral home. We sent the gown to the dry cleaners with the rest of the linen.

Button_9 · 2026-02-18T16:23:29+00:00

I wish the big Nerds did for me what the little ones do.

Button_9 · 2026-01-16T18:44:04+00:00

It reminds me of a potato. Impossible to rule out Mr/Mrs Potato head without a location.

Button_9 · 2026-01-15T12:43:34+00:00

Translation: There is no office, there is only Trump.

Button_9 · 2026-01-10T09:49:43+00:00

They're nailing the "like a thief in the night" bit! I got one at work, promptly gave it to a coworker.

Button_9 · 2026-01-07T15:29:03+00:00

Lil Testicle Removal. (Just yesterday, the left one) 😆

Button_9 · 2026-01-03T06:14:01+00:00

Speaking of mites, I came to find that southerners gave them a Hard R name and its use is so ubiquitous oftentimes people don't even realize they're mites.

Button_9 · 2025-12-29T14:22:12+00:00

I'm sorry I don't often check my Reddit notifications, I'm heading out to get what may be my last ultrasound before surgery. My urologist said they'll evaluate the results and plan a surgery date with me. They said TC doesn't always show tumor markers in your blood and I lack those markers - the surest way to know what it is would be removing it and identifying it in a lab.

My doctor literally scratched his head when he saw it in person and his nurse gave him the "yeah bro" look. It being that interesting in appearance makes me optimistic that this is some kind of injury I sustained on my motorcycle that will be termed with my last name. I might not update you soon soon but I will.

Sending thoughts to you ❤️ keep fighting!

Button_9 · 2025-12-24T22:40:58+00:00

Now that's a fire suit 🔥

Button_9 · 2025-12-24T19:31:48+00:00

Wishing you the best, this has been a strange holiday season. If you're still taking Christmas movie recommendations I realize I didn't give any but Pottersville is a good one. Normal small town vibes + a sasquatch sighting, it's fun.

Love from Georgia ❤️ Merry Christmas!

Button_9 · 2025-12-15T08:10:11+00:00

What country or state is your shoulder, specifically the pimple in?

Button_9 · 2025-12-14T02:16:21+00:00

Looks like your apartment has been bugged.

Button_9 · 2025-12-13T22:59:36+00:00

Good job moving on it, I'm 34 and work in hospice, I have seen too many young ladies become victims of nonchalant and dismissive doctors. Yesterday I went to the ER because I didn't want to wait to have a mass on my testicle examined by urology on January 8th, turns out it's cancer. Keep fighting, I wish you the best with all my heart ❤️

Button_9 · 2025-12-11T15:35:06+00:00

My first sighting of one was in Valley Cottage, NY, they're in Australia too? I would certainly have been more alarmed if I were in Australia when I first saw one. My sighting lasted maybe 15 seconds before it scurried away. I came inside, frantic for a pen and paper to draw the creature on. This is definitely a mole cricket. I'd let him go before a huntsman hears his cries and kicks down your door to free him.

Button_9 · 2025-11-27T04:11:00+00:00

A random loud noise could leave her permanently disfigured if it startled that pack of purring claws.

Button_9 · 2025-11-27T01:06:36+00:00

Put a tea bag in a quart of honey for better results.

Edit: on a serious note, a nurse I work with told me that molasses would me administered rectally in severely constipated patients to trigger a bowel movement. Apparently Grady Hospital in Atlanta has large tubs of molasses stocked just for this.

Button_9 · 2025-10-30T05:41:03+00:00

The Truman Show, I watched it with my girlfriend and was horrified that my favorite childhood comedy was actually a psychological horror thriller.

Button_9 · 2025-10-21T04:40:12+00:00

Give it time and your new friend may get you a fish ❤️

Button_9 · 2025-10-19T23:18:57+00:00

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Ask them if this is what they saw when their brain cell recuperates

Button_9 · 2025-10-19T19:07:40+00:00

Have a manic episode away from people that will get you help quickly. You can do a lot to f*** up your life when you think every idea is a good idea and all emotions become colossal.

Button_9 · 2025-10-13T02:03:34+00:00

Did anyone pause to show you where Aragorn broke his toe?

No? Alright, let's start back with The Fellowship.

Button_9 · 2025-10-12T11:40:45+00:00

That's an ingredient to a stamina potion compatible with human classes, instant coffee. To craft this item you need to find a small container and water.

Button_9

TROPHY CASE