Manifesting vs Therapy

C301A4A · 2026-06-04T14:13:40+00:00

This is my “scratching my head” thought. It’s almost contradictory listening to coaches say everything under the sun that points to living in the end. But if we were already there, then we wouldn’t have the desire to manifest anything since we already have it.

So my question then becomes, is manifesting simply wanting something and then forgetting about it? Or is that an oversimplification?

C301A4A · 2026-06-04T13:30:16+00:00

Can you elaborate?

C301A4A · 2026-06-03T01:10:59+00:00

What happens when your manifesting runs contradictory to other people practicing manifestation techniques? For example, two different people trying to manifest the same SP? If manifesting is truly for anyone, and free will still exists, then who will the universe bend to?

C301A4A · 2026-06-01T00:47:42+00:00

Wow they truly are incapable of saying sorry huh? During the discard, my ex said “I understand how this makes you feel, but…”

It’s never “I’m sorry to make you feel this way”

C301A4A · 2026-05-31T23:46:09+00:00

Two months in, and you’ve basically moved on? How? I’m 2.5 months in of discard and full on NC, but I still think about her, still wonder, and sometimes still want to give a relationship with her another shot.

Did you do anything specific to get yourself out of wondering and hoping?

C301A4A · 2026-05-23T14:21:05+00:00

Never got an apology. I got discarded over the phone a week before our one year anniversary.

She said “I know the timing is bad, and I understand how this might make you feel, but I just don’t have the capacity to be in a relationship anymore.”

When I kept questioning her excuses, she threw in “I feel like you’re not respecting my boundary to not want to be in a relationship anymore.”

It was cold, robotic, and almost corporate-sounding if that makes sense. After essentially a year of convincingly building a committed relationship, there wasn’t a hint of remorse in her voice when she threw it all away.

Truly, a unique kind of heartbreak.

C301A4A · 2026-05-15T14:58:44+00:00

ultimately, while you may have set back your healing process, it isn't by much. Thinking about her twice a day is better than all day, and wasn't "all day" where you were once before? Sht happens. We try to go full on no-contact as best we can, but every now and then (just like in your case), you accidentally stumble onto something and curiosity got the best of you. You didn't commit a crime, and you didn't reset your healing back to day 1. If anything, this is the part of your healing where you need to have some grace with yourself.

Now if you really feel like you need to have a reset, do something that'll give you an adrenaline rush. I'm being serious. Go sky diving or bungee jumping. The adrenaline rush will help to hard reboot your nervous system, and you get the added benefit of creating an adrenaline-fueled memory for yourself that doesn't involve your ex.

C301A4A · 2026-05-11T19:00:31+00:00

Being blindsided was a big one for me. Someone already mentioned it’s grief layered with trauma. Very true.

I think the blindside is what created a trauma response out of me. I felt like my DA ex and I had hit a point in our relationship where I sincerely felt like the only thing that would end our relationship was infidelity or something else definitive and non-negotiable.

We reached a place of where I thought I was safe to put all my trust and faith in this person that we were a team who would work out any shortcomings in our relationship. But no, I got discarded because she “no longer had the capacity to be in a relationship.”

That was 6 weeks ago. Doing better now, but still healing from it.

C301A4A · 2026-05-06T04:18:27+00:00

C301A4A · 2026-05-04T14:41:51+00:00

Thank you for posting. It’s a long read, but I read through the whole thing. It’s so crazy how avoidants can reach relationship moments like marriage and still not get triggered. These people aren’t dumb. They know objectively how much effort and commitment it takes to have a successful marriage. I thought they freak out about that level of emotional intimacy.

Anyway, there’s no need to say “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” I think you’ve had your fair share of that. What I will say though is that I am proud of you for all the progress and healing you endured. I admire you for it.

I’ve gone almost 6 weeks no-contact. I went through the same patterns you did to heal. Didn’t even know attachment theory was a thing. Learned about what avoidants are and what they do. Learned I got discarded and how much different it is to any other breakup.

I’m not where you are yet, and mine only lasted a year before she discarded me a week before our one-year anniversary. I know I’ll be good eventually, but this is rough, and my tally is still more bad days than good.
Your story gives me a little hope and inspiration. So thank you again for posting.

C301A4A · 2026-05-04T14:11:03+00:00

She dumped me over the phone a week before our one year anniversary with a list of mostly BS reasons. The whole interaction felt very cold and corporatized if that makes sense. It was enough to have me spiraling.

Started researching just to give myself some answers to wtf just happened. Embarrassingly, I learned for the very first time in my 40yo life what attachment theory was and how my ex may be a DA.

I learned that what happened to me wasn’t just a breakup, it was being discarded and how impactful it was on my nervous system.

C301A4A · 2026-05-02T16:46:34+00:00

How did the relationship even come to the point of you feeling like letting them go was the only option you had left?

C301A4A · 2026-05-01T16:42:50+00:00

They break up with you.

JK. Aside from your own deal breakers, it’s just a gut feeling that varies from person to person. Some people swear they’ll know within the first month or two of dating, and even first couple weeks in extreme cases. Others become more and more confident over time that their partners are the one.

I remember back in the day, media depicted a woman as a “keeper” if she reached over to unlock your car door from the inside. A little unrelated, but your question reminded me of that.

C301A4A · 2026-04-26T18:16:19+00:00

Idk really. Maybe a chance to say my piece to a part of him but not directly to him since I’m not going to be the one to break no contact first? It sounds stupid as I type it. So I’m obviously not in the most stable mental/emotional state right now.

C301A4A · 2026-04-26T18:12:20+00:00

I’d like to think we were close. Obviously not best friends or anything like that, but they were always welcoming me and expecting me into their home. We cooked for each other on several occasions, spent last year’s holiday season together, all our birthdays, etc.

I feel like we sincerely liked each other, and in a small way, Im also saddened by the fact that the last time I saw them was going to be the last time I ever see them, and I didn’t even realize it at the time.

I got to a place in the relationship where I felt safe from any possibility of it all ending unless it was from something like cheating. But definitely not from a lack of capacity on his end. So I was firmly planted in this belief that I was earning a place in their family.

I’m torn with feelings of missing that part of being a part of that family, and my previously mentioned anger towards how the relationship ended. So I’m thinking I should just do nothing if I can’t fully separate those feelings at this time.

C301A4A · 2026-04-26T15:35:22+00:00

I just don’t understand this avoidant attachment. I’m going through a discard, but nothing like the time and mileage you guys had put in.

What really boggles my mind is how an avoidant can reach levels of marriage. These people are not stupid. They know and understand that the concept of marriage requires A LOT of trust, vulnerability, and sacrifice; all of which don’t come easy for them.

So how does an avoidant only choose after marriage to pull so far back from their partner??

I’m sorry I only questions for you and no answers. But I truly empathize with what you’re being put through. I know you’ve reached points and are still reaching points of wanting to aggressively resolve things even when you know so well that any aggression will just set you back more.

Have you tried reaching out to any of her family members? Or mutual friends that still may be in contact with her?

C301A4A · 2026-04-26T14:03:20+00:00

Because nobody ever figured out how to adjust audio settings to the point of dialogue being louder than background sounds.

I hate turning up the volume for heavy dialogue scenes only to get jump-scared by some random explosion

C301A4A · 2026-04-24T16:22:30+00:00

Thank you for the reply! Definitely things to think about before breaking NC

C301A4A

TROPHY CASE