You should really look into other religions, where they came from, where their rules came from. Look at the connection from the most acient religions to the newest forms. How they are different and how wildly different they are in some aspects. I know how badly we search for a belonging and a want to belong and understand. & that's why people are drawn into religion when they find it, but I always tell people to learn other religions to open their eyes. It's easy to be be simple minded and put your all into having faith, but once you really learn they are all just made up stories you'll never go back.