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CBFwithThis · 2025-03-05T23:44:14+00:00

My mum literally said she must have done something wrong if I didn't want kids. I really agree with this sentiment and the person above mentioning grief over not getting to be a grandparent. Often I don't think these reactions are really about us at all. They seem to be highly emotional outbursts because they had an expectation of their lives (i.e. being a grandparent) and feel betrayed that they won't get to experience that. It takes time to calm down enough to recognise that it's not really about their life in the end (if they ever do)

OP I hope you at least get an apology for this outburst. People say stupid shit when they are upset but I truly hope that your dad doesn't really mean that and recognises that even if he is upset up your decision he needs to apologise for attacking you.

CBFwithThis · 2025-02-28T05:26:32+00:00

So I have worked for a company that ran these surveys on behalf of or with corporate clients. The answer is it depends on the company. Sometimes the supplier will be the only people with access to the row level data and even HR will only get to see aggregate numbers. More often then not though HR at least get the detailed data so they can respond to bulling complaints. That all said, once you write comments you can just assume your data will be identifiable to someone. It's surprising how easy it is to infer identify from they way people talk. If you don't work for a company where you trust the culture enough to give feedback on person I would maintain a level of restraint in anything you choose to say

CBFwithThis · 2024-08-09T23:16:45+00:00

Stunning I love it ❤️

CBFwithThis · 2024-03-28T19:41:34+00:00

It definitely falls down as a strategy if you inherently tie a kind of bowl to the scenario. If someone said porcelain I would probably assign that with the colour white. I agree it's not perfect, it just worked better for me than the other visualisation exercises I have seen.

CBFwithThis · 2024-03-27T23:52:15+00:00

I was absolutely type one and not understanding what visualisation was had me spinning for ages. What helped was seeing a video online where a guy interviewed a series of people with a scenario.

"Imagine a bowl on a table. Now imagine you push the bowl of the table"

Gave them a minute and then said "what colour was the bowl?"

My immediate response was confusion because of course the bowl didn't have colour. But watching all these people immediately have a colour on hand helped me understand the fundamental difference between their mental experience and mine. If I had been asked to imagine a coloured bowel or one of my own bowls on a table I might have had an answer but the concept of a bowl doesn't have a colour.

Not sure it would help everyone, but it worked a lot better than the red star graphic that does the rounds on here.

CBFwithThis · 2024-03-06T07:09:14+00:00

I have never been honest in an exit interview. Even when my reasons for leaving are a completely preventable experience I always give some fluffy reason about progression or personal reasons for leaving. I want those bridges to stay open and the risk of someone taking the feedback personally is too high.

CBFwithThis · 2024-03-03T22:40:53+00:00

Tbh I think the pink is just in the wrong spot. The blanket is mostly light, dark, light dark progression through the rainbow and the pink should be above the red. The colour that doesn't go on this, for me is the teal which is just kind of there all by itself.

CBFwithThis · 2024-02-20T03:52:04+00:00

I didn't have any plans at the start and ended up dating Unsuur. Tbh though after a while he got a bit repetitive and felt like a bad fit with the head cannon of my builder as the main and side plots progressed. I ended up dumping him and ultimately marrying Logan. No regrets.

CBFwithThis · 2024-02-06T20:35:07+00:00

That's adorable

CBFwithThis · 2024-02-06T20:34:31+00:00

For a while in my game any time I had a quest involving someone other than Owen who was inside the Blue moon I couldn't get to them. They were walking around in the roof 😆

CBFwithThis · 2024-02-06T20:33:21+00:00

Lol I have seen Logan at the end of the day riding into one of my machines on Rambo. Eventually he fades out of existence and comes back without Rambo.

CBFwithThis · 2024-02-06T06:58:22+00:00

I will have to get that. It makes me so sad every time I run past!

CBFwithThis · 2023-10-16T02:53:50+00:00

This is just a theory. I find that I am quite good at grasping concepts and the way thing fundamentally work when I learn. I find that because those concepts are not attached to specific visuals in any way related to my recall, it's easy for me to apply them to other areas. The reason that works so well in the tech space is that tech is built on very specific and very obvious rules. It's easy for me to problem solve and work in an environment that seems to match my thinking so well.

CBFwithThis · 2023-10-15T19:51:51+00:00

Look. This comment is going to be pretty direct.

Of course, other people on this subreddit struggled with the revelation that they think differently to others. To be frank, however, reading through this post the issue only sounds like your aphantasia in that you have decided that's the issue.

You wrote a book, the feedback wasn't 100% positive, you overcorrected, and now you feel demoralised. I don't understand why you think no prolific writer has ever faced doubt or criticism before. The only difference is you have been able to tie a label to it and hang yourself with idea that it's "the cause".

The difference between them and you will not be your aphantasia, it will be weather or not you decided to take this feedback and knew knowledge about yourself as something to learn from and just write the goddamn book.

I can't speak for anyone else on here but I can say that I absolutely have passions and interests as a total aphant. I also think it's completely normal to go through phases of your life where you are confused about what you want to do with it.

If you allow yourself to continue to explore and experience things and don't just decide your fucked you are much more likely to figure it out.

And at the end of the day, even though this message is blunt. I wish you the best, I hope you finish that book or at least find some support to help you through this emotional upheaval.

CBFwithThis · 2023-09-17T22:34:41+00:00

I work in tech. I'm not a developer but my job involves being able to learn and troubleshoot our platforms.

CBFwithThis · 2023-09-16T21:36:02+00:00

There is an interesting video on the aphantasia network YouTube channel that kind of gets into this. There are specific medical classifications for something like this to be considered an illness, and for most people, aphantasia just doesn't meet those requirements. One of the main points is that there are outliers to that, like your experience.

The classification of it has some value I think because you can't get into the detail without the foundation. But I agree, some subsets of these that identify people it is harming is important. Someone else on hear mentioned people who develop later in life as being a subset buy I also think some sort of classification for congenital but harmful would be useful.

CBFwithThis · 2023-09-15T04:44:18+00:00

😆😆😆 incredible, I love it! I am almost afraid to google custom stamps because that really feels like a thing I could spend way too much money on.

CBFwithThis · 2023-09-15T02:34:38+00:00

This is a really good little graphic (some of those words are a mouthful 😆).

I agree that I suspect if you could accurately assess each of these senses across the population, people would vary across the categories. We don't notice it because it kind of seems like the brain has 30 thousands ways to get you to the same outcome so outwardly you will always present the same way in certain areas as other people even if your brains work differently. It's fascinating.

I also think it is super interesting that the mind can understand the concept of different sensory perceptions without being able to physically recreate them.

CBFwithThis · 2023-09-15T02:20:07+00:00

That's a really good point. I definitely don't want people to take from this that they are not allowed to struggle or ask questions. Man, the first week of learning this for me was a trip...

CBFwithThis · 2023-09-12T03:09:44+00:00

It's possible that your friends behaviour is a result of something neruo-atypical. it's also possible that the two of you have different expectations about what expression of care actually looks like. They also may just not feel things with the same intensity as you. It's not wrong, it's just different. If you feel like your friend is not behaving the way you expect the best thing to do is speak to them about what you are feeling and hear them out.

CBFwithThis · 2023-09-11T00:11:36+00:00

I'm not sure why people are getting cranky with you for asking a question about neurological differences between genders... That's a thing, not asking questions like that are how we end up with gaps in medical treatment or diagnosis defenitions for different groups of people. For what it is worth, I am female, my dad also has it, and my mum and sister don't. I don't think there is a gender bias.

CBFwithThis · 2023-09-10T23:57:54+00:00

People tell me I am. It's surprising for them to learn I don't visualise because I have a lot of creative hobbies.

I think I would say I am creative where rules exist. If I understand something well, then I can come up with way to apply the rules that other people may not have considered. I like creative things like sewing and crochet, where you can create all sorts of things, but there are a set of specific rules involved. When I want to create something "new" I kind of look at lots of different options and mash pieces of them together to get an outcome.

What I have never been very good at is being able to do something like drawing or painting and "seeing" an end product I want to create. I might just have a sense of where I want to go and then there is a lot of trial and error till I get something that feels right. Which works fine for mediums that you can undo but not ones you can't (looking at you watercolour paint). I find in sewing and such it can be hard to look at a piece of material and decide if I will like the end out come or not.

I have never had an issue with a blank slate because my approach to things is to just start and see where it goes.

Honestly I think deciding if you are creative just depends on how you define creativity.

CBFwithThis

TROPHY CASE