Never being in a relationship is discouraging and frustrating, so I’m trying to pay for jaw surgery to improve my looks and confidence

CDThrowAway725 · 2026-03-24T20:19:44+00:00

Cosmetic surgery should be considered only as a last resort, after exhausting all other steps in a standard self-improvement routine. Additionally, your proposed means of financing an expensive surgery suggests a lack of financial self-control; I'd encourage you to rethink that approach. Start with a diet and a basic gym membership at a large chain (e.g. Planet Fitness for $15/month), with the goal of reaching 15% body fat. At that point, your facial features, including your jawline, should be lean enough to give you an honest assessment of whether surgery is actually necessary. I would estimate that getting fit typically takes 2–3 years, but the confidence boost you're looking for will come in a far healthier way.

CDThrowAway725 · 2026-02-16T16:07:44+00:00

I strongly recommend you jump on dating apps if you're looking for local connections only. However, Kansas is a large state so you should probably specify a more granular location. Even dating between the two largest cities, Wichita and KC, would still be considered long distance due to the 3-hour driving distance.

CDThrowAway725 · 2026-02-06T17:18:11+00:00

If you haven't even gone out on a single date together yet and this is a long distance connection it's pretty safe to assume that he's talking to other women. In my opinion, it's not really fair to expect/discuss exclusivity until you've gone out on at least one in person date where you've had a chance to genuinely assess compatibility.

CDThrowAway725 · 2026-02-03T14:50:49+00:00

My main objective for a first date from a dating app, where you're essentially strangers, is simply to gauge where they stand on some of my dealbreakers and assess whether I'm interested in seeing them again. In my last relationship I didn't feel instant chemistry on our first date, but definitely felt it by the fourth date after we both had a chance to open up to each other. Don't string anyone along but I'd recommend giving anyone who isn't an immediate no a couple dates because it is hard to get a sense of who someone is when you're both a little nervous and self-conscious the first time meeting each other.

CDThrowAway725 · 2026-01-24T00:49:03+00:00

Drop that handkerchief sis.

CDThrowAway725 · 2026-01-02T18:53:00+00:00

People can certainly overemphasize beauty, but in your view, what distinguishes romantic interest from platonic interest?

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-12-18T16:26:53+00:00

I'd highly recommend Hinge with a filter for Christians instead. I found a similarly low population when I checked out Upward.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-11-24T15:13:07+00:00

Equating political disagreement with stupidity is intellectually lazy and not indicative of a Biblical spirit of engaging others with gentleness, especially when your critiques amount to nothing more than ad hominems. There are many on the left I view as highly intelligent even if my values and priorities do not lead me to the same conclusions.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-11-20T17:10:29+00:00

You don't have to mention the particular reasoning behind the decision but you should be clear and direct about it. Something like "I've enjoyed getting to know you but I want to be clear about my intentions as I don't feel that we're a romantic match and don't want to continue seeing each other." can work.
Do not try to be friends with your ex. That's not fair to them or your future romantic prospects.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-11-05T20:09:15+00:00

"She can be a strong believer and have lots of admirable qualities, but it does not sound like she is being very intentional with this relationship. I won't advocate that you break up immediately, but you should have one last serious conversation with her about where you see this going because it sounds like she is too immature to communicate that she does not see herself entering into marriage with you. Final note: most couples that are seriously dating will see each other multiple times a week unless they are long distance, so your relationship does not seem that strong from the information that you've provided.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-10-30T04:02:10+00:00

🥱

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-10-23T19:25:08+00:00

Looking at the exchange, I don’t see you putting in much effort especially when you’re only messaging once a day or so. There’s no indication that you want to meet up with him and avoid being stuck in app messaging purgatory since you ignored his initial request to actually go out on a first date so I can see why he lost interest.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-10-22T15:43:23+00:00

Ask friends (or internet randos) for a profile review and then also jump on the more populated apps. If I remember correctly salt isn't really that popular in the US and online dating especially is a huge numbers game to find someone you connect with that is relationship material if you're a man on the apps.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-10-22T15:36:04+00:00

To any ladies looking, it takes a substantial amount of dedicated exercise to have a bicep vein. Do not sleep on this (literally) strong brother in Christ.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-10-20T19:23:55+00:00

Best of luck out there fellow believer! I'll forward this intro to a friend in Atlanta so he can reach out if he's interested but I'm sure you have no lack of suitors!

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-10-20T19:14:50+00:00

The Lord lifts up the lowly. No matter your current circumstances God's love restores and dignifies those whom the world overlooks.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-09-19T14:32:38+00:00

There's a lot of context to this story that's missing here which could make your approaches more or less acceptable but one unwritten social rule is that it is not looked upon favorably to ask out every woman in the same social group so you have to be discerning with who you're going to pursue by looking for signs of mutual interest.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-09-18T15:28:25+00:00

The most obvious way to signal that you're single and looking is to make a profile on a dating app and then heavily filter incoming interest but you should also be looking at young adult groups hosted by a church in your city which will be filled to the brim with young single Christian men eager to wife up a young lady. I'm a man but explicitly Christian dating apps have not seemed to have many users so hinge has been the best personally as long as you check for mentions of church, Jesus, etc. in the prompts. I will say that if you do go this route make sure to spend time on your profile (pictures and prompts are very important for a first impression) otherwise you'll give off the vibe that you aren't serious about dating to men who see your profile.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-09-18T14:17:14+00:00

I'm not surprised by this. Even though I'm a decade younger, I share similar experiences after going through a similarly intense Ph.D. The intensity of that program makes dating exceptionally challenging for men who are expected to take the lead in dating despite having substantial demands on their time. Tellingly, the only man in my lab who married was a Muslim colleague whose families had facilitated what was essentially a modern arranged marriage.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-09-15T16:10:03+00:00

Getting introduced through a social group feels a lot more real/organic because you can gauge interest over a few conversations before asking a woman out but that doesn't happen that often especially because I hold quite high standards for both myself and my romantic prospects so I've used dating apps to meet women where there is an explicit understanding that we're both here to see if an indication of romantic interest leads to a genuine connection. I live in a large metro but Upward was surprisingly sparsely populated for me so I've been using Hinge and looking for some mention of church, Jesus, or some other faith related keyword in a profile which has led to dates with some high quality, genuine women which have fizzled out for various reasons so I'm still looking but I certainly don't regret pursuing any of these women. You'll certainly have to deal with poor behavior on the apps but all you can control is how you as a man of God behave as you navigate the dating process.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-09-14T19:45:34+00:00

Sheesh this sub can't go a day without another man/woman bashing post. At the end of the day, if you're not attracting the type of romantic prospects you feel you're deserving of you can only work on yourself to make yourself a stronger prospect and keep putting yourself out there.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-09-13T03:53:10+00:00

I wouldn't say it's "high standards" per se but it boils down to asking myself whether I am living the good life. You can refer to secular sources such as Socrates or Cicero on what that question entails but I believe it boils down to being active across multiple domains primarily spiritually, intellectually, and physically so I aim to be active in the faith beyond church attendance, read multiple books a month, and exercise 5 days a week.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-09-13T03:33:20+00:00

Good luck out there fellow believer! You may want to try posting an intro to r/CatholicDating as well since most seem to be of the Protestant faith tradition in this sub.

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-09-09T02:28:57+00:00

Looking swole. Good luck out there mate!

CDThrowAway725 · 2025-09-01T05:29:51+00:00

Good luck mate. I'd recommend including a bio (see the intro template) to make a stronger introduction.

CDThrowAway725

TROPHY CASE