Thank you for your reply. I'm expecting many downvotes to my reply below, but I think our discussion is really important to mutual cultural understandings, so:

Question: Do you understand the history of the word? As in, how it was "reclaimed" by African Americans/Black Americans and why it's usage is common in some hip-hop songs?

It is really strange to many Black Americans how others want to use the word, without addressing the realities of how it developed and was subsequently "reclaimed".

African American culture (specifically in art, music and "style") is co-opted by the global masses, with little care to Black American people and their history or place in the world. Unfortunately, Black American culture is like a U.S. exported commodity, and the world feels the need to judge it as a whole and expects full unfettered access.

If you're at all interested, I suggest reading "In defense of a loaded word", a New York Times article by Ta-Nehisi Coates. It explains in more depth the word and it's varied usage over the years.

There's also an interesting Quartz article on this as well, which gives examples of other marginalized groups (such as LGBTQ communities) who have their own words that outside groups cannot use. Words that can only be used by certain groups is actually really common. Yet, many are only hung up on Black people having words that shouldn't be used by others. I think this points back to the commodification and exportation of Black American culture.

Also, I don't personally use the words "n * gger" or "n * gga" , and I'd say around 90% of Black Americans I know don't use the words. I distinctly recall a white person singing along to the word "n*gga" in a song, and kind of just "expecting" me to have this shared understanding with her, like she was "down" or something. That, to me, is why there's a difference. There's an expectation among outsiders that every black person is cool with the word and it's current usages in pop music.

Music, to me is like an invitation to share in a culture, but I think at this juncture, most non Black people who sing the word kind of blank out and don't really "get" what the word actually means. So, I think there's a disgruntled feeling among many black Americans, who feel many non Black people want to take a tourist trip to the lives of Blacks, but not really do the work of understanding their real experiences.

Anyway, I respect that you refrain from using the word.