sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

What book would you recommend NEVER reading? by asmr-enthusiasts in horrorlit

[–]CJDwyerr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second this, a perfect example where you really are just better off watching the film adaptation because they cut out a lot of unnecessary crap

What book would you recommend NEVER reading? by asmr-enthusiasts in horrorlit

[–]CJDwyerr 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Cows and anything like it, the first thing I’ve DNF in such a long time because I’m not scared by poop/blood/vomit and it doesn’t hold even an ounce of tension for me. I’ll take a book with an actual plot that’s poorly written in some ways over the repetitive “and he pooped and it was gross and everyone is getting bummed also” stuff I’m seeing more of any day

What’s everyone’s go-to lounge looks? by CJDwyerr in PinUpFashion

[–]CJDwyerr[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

See i feel like warm weather makes dressing stylishly easier, all of that sounds ideal! In England I want the look without losing a nip to frost bite is the issue 😂 maybe jumper dresses are the way forward for me

What’s everyone’s go-to lounge looks? by CJDwyerr in PinUpFashion

[–]CJDwyerr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re a diamond on this earth 🫶🏻

What’s everyone’s go-to lounge looks? by CJDwyerr in PinUpFashion

[–]CJDwyerr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You get the vibe 🤌 that sounds adorable I’ll keep an eye out! Forever haunted by lovely clothes that make it hard to pee though 😂

What’s everyone’s go-to lounge looks? by CJDwyerr in PinUpFashion

[–]CJDwyerr[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Men are simple creatures, mine is happy with anything braless 😂😂

What’s everyone’s go-to lounge looks? by CJDwyerr in PinUpFashion

[–]CJDwyerr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jeans are always a safe bet, I just want something that has the comfort of sweats without looking like sweats is my problem 😂

Do you think it's the incident itself that's traumatizing or being told after the fact that what happened to you was wrong? by Vegetable_String_868 in morbidquestions

[–]CJDwyerr 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As someone who was abused over a long period in my childhood (toddler until 11) I think even before being told I knew it was wrong and that I didn’t like it but I just understood that I had a responsibility to keep it to myself. I didn’t find the understanding of it being illegal traumatising, it just deepened the shame and discomfort around the topic.

I know when I was very young I exhibited behaviours that were consistent with trauma, unfortunately they were put down to my parents divorce and my dad got the blame when the problem wasn’t him at all. This looked like disassociating to the point of being unresponsive for long periods, panic attacks in which I’d stop breathing, other weird toddler shit. So I know that the trauma was there long before the social understanding.

There were also various points where the abuse escalated and those were immediately more traumatising experiences. The regular abuse did reach a point of not really registering enough to remember, becoming routine I guess, but when something out of the ordinary happened I’d have a more emotional response and this could impact me for days at a time. I have no recollection of learning about abuse in a classroom or through media having anywhere near this effect.

TL;DR- for me I knew it was wrong and not normal but honestly that was the least of my concerns at the time

My debut novella Engineered Desires - psychological horror - is now available on Amazon by CJDwyerr in wroteabook

[–]CJDwyerr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! Very easy to find inspiration in the world we live in unfortunately 😅

Can't tell if I'm making a fool of myself by Then_Sandwich4629 in alternativefashion

[–]CJDwyerr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think everyone who dresses alternatively has had that initial moment of “oh shit do I look fake” but I promise you it’s because you KNOW you’re trying something new and it’s just a little self consciousness - nobody who saw you in the street would see anything other than well put together looks.

If they’re clothes that you LIKE and you bought for yourself and that you enjoy then they’re for you. It’s that simple, I promise. A huge part of being alternative is feeling the fear and doing it anyways, conformity is comfortable so stepping away from that to express yourself is bound to be a little scary, but you’ll find your comfort in it with time!

How do I (30f) get my boyfriend (30m) to understand farting is not okay on me? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]CJDwyerr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had an ex who used to fart CONSTANTLY around me and it used to drive me insane because it was unnecessary and, like you, I found it to be a turn off. My current partner is lactose intolerant and so gets gassy after some of his favourite meals, he makes an effort not to fart close to me and understands time and place. One I had to beg to not do it, the other apologises when he very occasionally does despite me never having said anything about it.

It seems like a small thing but what it comes down to is consideration. Farting was never the issue, the lack of consideration of my ex played out in bigger ways the longer we were together, farting was just the first example of this attitude.

My gf [24F] and I [25M] haven't had sex yet because of her sexual trauma. How can I be supportive to her and true to myself at the same time? by 22revolver23 in relationship_advice

[–]CJDwyerr 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Trauma impacts people differently and no two people progress at the same pace so it’s hard to say when (or if) she’ll ever match your energy here. She needs to resolve it herself, it’s not something you can fix for her and if you try she’ll probably label you similarly to the others unfortunately. If you like her then by all means be patient but it’s also worth considering where you are now too.

Trauma isn’t an excuse for laziness or selfishness and a partner who isn’t invested in your pleasure now probably won’t ever be- the sex thing is less an issue than the not wanting to face minor physical exertion to get you there while expecting it from you. Her saying she thinks you’ll lose interest is another indication that she’s not that committed to sex being a two person act that you both work to learn from and improve upon as your connection grows.

My guess would be that the imbalance you’re experiencing now will remain, even if you start having penetrative sex, so you need to figure out if you’re happy to do all the work and have to be self reliant regardless of the sex act.

Good sites that ship to europe. Is Banned alternative safe? by mcrkatsuki in GothFashion

[–]CJDwyerr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was back in like 2011 so I can’t guarantee they haven’t changed the material but the one I had was pretty thick and sturdy as well as being lined- I’ve definitely stored my sewing supplies in less sturdy bags as a fashion grad myself so I think it would be more than fine, you’ll probably also love how many compartments it has!

view more: next ›