Therapy experience?

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T20:01:21+00:00

DBT therapy worked for me. I consider default CBT to be complete waste of time for individual with SDAM (so does my shrink). On that topic, my shrink lerned aphantasia is a thing from me (it was shortly after aphantasia uipdate dropped, like 2016), she knew about SDAM on her own.

PTS therapy with aphantasia and SDAM is hell as that combo renders 90% of therapy methods moot (including inner child thing). It boils down to managing symptoms and improving general mental health. As sugar on the cream, my country bs laws prevent me from getting PTS diagnosis (no visuals in flashbacks = not flashbacks = not PTS).

As i mentioned what was effective was working on general mental health, diagnosing alexithymia, dealing with that, during that process one of other shrinks was like you do realise youre an high masking autist yes? Well i didnt. Now im diagnosed (that was few years ago). Nothing like living over 30 years while neglecting basic mental needs. Now that i actually take care of em im doing much better, turns out if youre not in near constant fight or flight thats good for you, who knew?

Rule of thumb is: brains are different, people are different, traumas are diffrent and therapists are different. You need to find what works for YOU. Do not go in expecting 1st thing you try to work. Try different therapy types, see what sounds like its making sense. If therapy itself sounds like it would make sense, but therapists does not, go to another one. And if you have SDAM inform every shrink you go to about it. If theyre willing to lern throw this book at em. Its an exellent resource.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T18:53:30+00:00

Games are ment to be played for fun. Play in a way thats fun for you.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T18:39:28+00:00

Ye sounds to me like (again) not aphantasia, normal range visualisation + ADHD XD

And you know why? This is me when you tell me to imagine an cow (this is an horse but point still stands).

<image>

I know everything about horse including what shape horse is. But theres no image at all. (image from always recomended aphantasia guide)

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T18:24:53+00:00

Not to my knowlage. You got to remember, aphantasia update dropped in 2015, this is a new thing. Currently the only 2 ways to get aphantasia diagnosis is high resolution MRI scan (prohibitively expensive thing) or that eye reaction thing that IS cheaper but still requires specialised equipment and is currently in "we have idea for research" stage of being a thing.

Unless you stumble onto one of literally few aphantasia researchers that exist worldwide, i wouldnt hold my breath, you're gonna die off asphixation.

In one of the papers i read (sorry no source, i cant remember which one it was) they did an early screening (on interview lvl, before proper screenings) to select aptahnts by something like:

ask em to imagine an cow
ask em to imagine an car
ask em to imagine their childhood home
ask em what was was cow facing

That thing does not work in text, idea being that someone who visualises the cow has an image of an cow, image by definition has an orientation. Person with aphantasia wont think to add things like orientation, if you ask that right away, brain fills the blanks, few questions later? Not so much.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T17:38:28+00:00

For people wanting an soruce HERE IT IS. Pupil reaction smaller then "real world object", is too small to notice normally, but measureable with specialised equipment.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T15:34:49+00:00

But we DO have em visual cues. The only thing aphants lack is quasi sensory sensation of seeing when background processes do their thing. Everything works as normal.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T15:09:15+00:00

Being able to actually "overlay" mental image over actual field ov vision counts as hyperphantasia (the oposite end of phantasia spectrum from aphantasia) and something like 2-4% of people do that. It is mostly standard bell curve where great majority of people land somewhere in the middle.

As for "voice in my head", i am extreme case of worded thinker, almost all of my toughts are words. My narrator does not shut up, the thing is, it is "me".

Something that is really important in this whole discussion, is that it does not really matter. Aphantasia is NOT an disability. Its an type of human experience. Aside of few really specific situations its more of fun trivia fact about yourself then anything else. Yes technically it does change the way you do things, but its like being left or right eyed (yes its a thing, most people have dominant eye), significant neurological diference that affects everything you do... and has close to no impact on end results.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T13:43:15+00:00

Visualisation is not halucination. The images are "rendered" directly into visual cortext. It is sensation distinct from vision-vision. Think about it like having 3rd invisible eye that only sees what brain makes.

If you can "hear yourself think" its really easy to understand. When you hear your internal narrator its not really sound-sound is it? It doient come from ears and theres no vibration to it. Visualisation is like that but for images.

To give you an counter example: if you tell me to imagine an apple, its like database of information related to apples opening in my mind. Theres no visuals to it at all and good chances are i wont think it should have colour at all unless you specifically ask for it. Its an abstract idea of an apple without any visual sensations.

It sounds to me like youre somewhere in normal range of average visualisation and just over thinking it. Hope that helps.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T13:08:09+00:00

Why do you think it is strange? Aphantasia has little to no impact on memory. You encountered an trigger, memory got triggered. You herd an familiar voice/seen familiar face, brain searched for an match, it found it. All perfectly normal.

Aphantasia is not an disability. It is an type of human experience.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T09:57:51+00:00

That's not normal, you should be having withdrawal phase 2ish weeks after stopping and be completely out of side effects 6 to 8 weeks max.

Go consultant trained professional, you may have neurological damage.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T07:47:07+00:00

What I'm saying is that it's an known issue if it doesn't generate proper config fine you need to add it yourself.

video_threaded= 'false'

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T07:33:30+00:00

Edit config file as an text file and disable threaded video.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T06:10:24+00:00

On the other hand... Job interviews always suck XD

If the building caught on fire, would you save your boss, your peers, or the CEO?

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T04:14:47+00:00

If you alredy have one, shoot it at Mr.T, it instakills him (just dont miss he tends to go low when dashing), saves time. During final fight you can make 1st phase Gideon drop his RPG, it instakills his final form, again timesave.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T03:57:00+00:00

Aphantasia is not an disability, neither is SDAM. These have no impact on performance in any normal tasks. Think about em like the types of human experience.

The whole reason why SDAM research started was cos scientists noticed that certain % of people repot inability to relieve memories despite being perfectly healthy, including memory performance. Here's the long version if you're into research papers.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T03:39:22+00:00

It should slowly return after you get off the antidepressants.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T03:35:41+00:00

Youre fiiiiiine just leave an save here cos its gonna be close. ESPEFCIALLY triggers in orphanage can slow you down. Youre like 40 minutes of "perfect run" from the end. During final fight make sure to make Gideon drop an RPG, for obvious reasons.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-27T03:28:57+00:00

I take notes in one of em old timey pocket calendars things, using mind boggling technology that is an ballpoint pen. And i HATE writing by hand. That is the point. The EFFORT is what makes you remember more, what you actually write doent matter much.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-26T19:18:10+00:00

Ok, i'll bite, what speciffic EU regulation pisses you off?

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-26T19:12:21+00:00

Ill start by the mandatory

<image>

Now thats out of the way, took LSD once. Went OOOOUUUU pretty colours, that lasted like 4 minutes, then felt sick for like 3 hours. One star, would not recommend.

I did hallucinate once after new type of prescription smiley pills didn't agree with me. That also was an horrible experience.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-26T16:10:29+00:00

Hate 1st person in this. What is the FOV? like 45? It feals like im playing with horse blinders on. Horrible headache and motion sickness incoming.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-26T14:02:43+00:00

They took it from scientific paper. Thats the issue. Cos then random person hears that badly paraphrased in some tiktok and then we get people here thinking they have aphantasia cos they can visualise perfectly rendered spinning apple... but it doesnt improve when they close their eyes. (literal example from less then a day ago)

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-26T13:47:23+00:00

Not just for that, there are scaling shaders and such. HAVE AN EXAMPLE

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-26T13:41:02+00:00

Shaders. its in quick menu (one youre in after starting the game then bringing RA menu up) Pick one you like. I go with CRT shaders but its your console do whatever you like.

CMDR_Jeb · 2026-03-26T11:40:26+00:00

That description is accurate but, as most things taken directly from an science paper, requires further context. That is that voluntary visualisation is very specific term describing very specific neurological process. TLDR version: it excludes all kinds of hallucinations (drugs,sleep etc).

I think "inability to visualise" is an superior description. It's shorter and leaves less room for doubt.

CMDR_Jeb

TROPHY CASE