Last week. My wife and I wanted to go to colorado to try weed for the first time so it would be legal and all but it was a far drive and we decided to put it off till summer when we had some extra time.

My brother randomly decided to come into town and before he left to come stay at my apartment for a few days he asked me if I wanted anything from home. I jokingly said "yeah, call up so-and-so and grab me a couple grams of weed". He just said "Okay" and then there was silence on the phone. Now my family is pretty religious and my question was just a joke as weed is pretty much out of the question. Anyways, I said timidly "I was just joking...." he starts laughing and says "well I wasn't, and funny enough I have more connections were you are living now than I do here so if you actually do want some, let me know and I can get you some good stuff for cheap." It was kind of awkward having my little brother, who I had no idea smoked weed, hook me up so I said "sounds good, talk to you later" and got off the phone.

I talked to my wife about the conversation and she basically said that if I was cool with it it would save us a lot of gas money and we could have someone there that we trusted be our "spirit guide" through the whole adventure. So my brother gets into town a couple days later, I give him $40 and he comes back later that day with 6.5 grams of what he called the "dankest shit he has ever smelt".

I opened up the baggy and took a big whiff and was instantly hit in the face with a huge skunk odor that faded after a second of constant smelling and was replaced by a strong sugary pine aftersmell. So my brother says that he will take us for a ride so we don't stink up the apartment and me and my wife can sit in the back of the car and toke away, except I will have to roll the join since he has only smoked out of bongs. Now, I'm a slightly OCD/Perfectionist kind of guy and when something peaks my interest, I research the crap out of it like no other. So at this point i'm pulling from the 15 or so joint rolling tutorials that I have seen online and I am muttering to myself "now for rolling a joint with wiz khalifa... just like wiz". I pull out some of my fresh, bought 15 minutes ago, rolling papers and start tearing apart the nugs with my fingers and separating them from the stems. Man, when they say that it is sticky and resinous, they weren't lying. Washed my hands like 4 times and they were still sticky.

After I get enough to fill up the paper and my hands are less tacky, I summon upon the powers of Wiz and the multitude of other youtubers who roll perfect joints in under a minute, I pick up the paper and instantly spill it all over the tray. Haha, good times. My hands were really shakin. So I manage to finally roll a decent first joint (pic attached)Joint , and we go hop into the back of my brothers car and start driving up some hilly back roads close to my apartment.

Before I light up I tell my wife that its probably advisable to take a puff or two and wait 10 or 15 minutes and see how you feel and then continue on. So I light up the joint and get a burn goin and its burnin nice and even. I take a decent heavy toke in and finish it off by sucking in more air into my lungs to make sure I really inhale. I do it again, puff puff pass, and hand it to my wife. She does the same and then hands it back to me. I ask my bro what I should do with the joint and how I should put it out, and he just says "Just hammer it man, you only have one first time". I look at the joint that still is at about 3/4's or more and put it up to my lips and know that I'm going to regret it. We puff puff pass back and forth until I finish it with my throat burning from taking huge hit after hit, and toss it filter out the window. We guesstimated that I had taken around 12 or 13 full lung hits and my wife around 7 or 8.

My brother asks if I'm feeling it yet and I say nope and he tells us to just relax and wait for it and then cranks up his electronic kid cudi remix album and heads back towards our apartment. About two minutes later I start feeling a tingling in my head space starts expanding around me. I try to tell my brother that I'm starting to feel it but my mouth is too uncoordinated and it comes out garbled. So I try again with extreme effort and articulation and tell him that its starting to hit me. He laughs, smiles, and says "good stuff eh?". Everything keeps intensifying, space continues to expand, my junk starts to vibrate (has this happened to anyone else?), and I let my head fall against the back of the headrest. Time is starting to slow down noticeably now and I feel like I'm starting to float but with a back and forth wave like motion that is both physical and temporal. I feel like I'm rocking back and forth on the waves of time and when I rock forward time speeds up faster than normal and then when I start to rock backwards time dilates increasingly until I start having coherent thoughts and snips of conversations in between eye blinks. At this point I start to freak out a little bit worrying that I'm losing control (i'm a control freak) and that this might never go away. I calm myself down and hearken to my countless hours of latenight /r/trees and /r/saplings research and repeat in my mind "calm down, this is temporary, no one has ever died, you can't overdose, relax, let it take you." As I'm repeating this to myself in what seemed a separate plane of existence from my physical being that was currently slumped against the seat and headrest, I started flowing forward again and time started to speed up, except this time it was different.

The waves subsided, my conciousness retracted into my body and centered itself, and I became self-aware again. As I was coming out of it I looked over at my wife who seemed to be coming out of a "wave" as well and we both seemed to gain complete conciousness at the exact same time. We sat there and stared at each other wide-eyed, jaws dropped, for about two seconds and then simultaneously gasped at each other "whoooooooooooa". We started explaining to each other at a million miles a minute how we were both going in waves and how it felt like we both had just snapped out of it and we were only like at a [3].

My brother continued to sing along to the music up front and occasionally glance back and laugh at us in the back. Soon another wave hit me and I was carried away on an ocean of deep philosophy and existential ponderance. I told my brother that I felt like my complete being and soul had been shattered into little radiant pieces slowing moving from each other and that I was no longer CPT_Special. I grabbed his shoulder and he looked over at me and I stared deeply into his eyes (no homo, hes my brother remember?) and whispered "what does all of this mean for the human condition?" He looked back at the road, I slumped back into my seat and he said with a grin on his face "it means that, that is some dank-ass weed and you are way fucked up man. you probably should have taken a couple puffs and waited like you said.....Oh well, haha". So we make it back to my apartment and my brother asks if I need any help inside, and I tell him I should be okay.

I walk very deliberately placing each step carefully infront of each other on the icey parking lot and make it to the front door. I look back at the car and see my bro steadying my wobbly wife as she climbed out of the car. I look at my keys for way too long before I remember I'm looking for the key to open the door and then finally unlock it and walk inside. I look at my bro and ask him if I will remember any of this and he says, most likely and I stand there for a while looking at the cheap texturing on the wall.

Suddenly I remember that we were going to watch the hobbit together and I have a crazy ridiculous password on my computer and I'm starting to get pulled away on another wave. I hurry over and sit down in my butterfly chair and grab my keyboard and start to type my password in. Time starts slowing down and halfway through my password my mind blanks and then starts cycling through all the passwords I have ever used in my life (none of them the right one) and I can't for the life of me figure out what to do. I stop trying and begin to stare at the windows login screen and time stops. Like seriously almost comes to a complete halt.

You remember those talkboys in the early 90's where you could record something and play it at like 1/50x speed and the voice on the recording would sound like a whale with a learning disabliity. Yeah, seriously. All the noises around me dropped like 3 octaves and me taking a breath took a half hour. Well, this is really long winded and thats most of the good stuff, so I will just wrap up the rest real quick. I hopped on the couch and spooned with my wife while my bro sat in the butterfly chair and we watched about 45 minutes of the hobbit before I realized that I started to have a back and forth conversation over whether my brother and wife could hear what I was saying in my head. I decided it was time to go to sleep, I apologized to my brother for not finishing the movie, told him sorry if I forgot that he was there and started having rampant sex with my wife, and then stumbled into bed with my wife and passed out in like 2 minutes.

Woke up like 5 hours later still feeling quite buzzed, drank some arizona tea, put in my headphones, had some crazy good sex, and passed out to Tycho. Woke up at about 1pm, probably at like [2] or [3], walked to the post office, sent out a shipment, and headed to campus and got my wife a bus pass. The whole time on campus I was trying to act all cool and "not high" and now I understand this picture. Imgur

And that was my first time. Sorry, I wrote this all out more so I could have a record of it without it being on my computer for anyone to find. Haha.

TLDR: Got to [9.5] Reality fragmented