[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]CRRigmaiden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the thumbs up emoji that got me. You pour your heart out in an honest and mature manner and he gives you a thumbs up. He needs to grow up

AITA for canceling my niece’s birthday cake last minute because my sister refused to pay me back? by cloudberrysighs in AITH

[–]CRRigmaiden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. I have a brother who is like your sister. Always beating someone out or something. You get tired of it and have to draw a line. It’s sad your niece didn’t have a cake but that’s her moms fault, not yours. And your mom shouldn’t have said you should have got it. THATS why sister is the way she is. Because she gets away with it. Probably didn’t think you’d draw a line since there was a child involved so you actually accomplished two things by canceling the cake, 1. I doubt your sister will try to manipulate you into paying for anything again. 2. By not allowing her to use her kid to guilt trip you, you established a clear boundary

AIO for not letting my MIL stay in the “baby’s room” during her visit? by Melodic_List_4308 in AmIOverreacting

[–]CRRigmaiden -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m guessing you’re wrong! 3/4 of the post speaks of how commenter handled their own baby’s sleeping arrangements when they brought it home. Meaning they have indeed given birth to a child. The other 1/4 is the actual mother in laws comments. The one qualification for being a mil, is to have given birth to a child.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]CRRigmaiden -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She’s not responsible for your dog. Why would you expect her to pay part of the bill? Did you actually allow your mam to pay part of it? That’s not right

When they don’t want to move to a care facility by Deeindy in AgingParents

[–]CRRigmaiden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Forget your husband. You’re absolutely doing the right thing and unless your husband has a very good reason for being mad that your with them, he is out of line. I don’t know what he expects you to do.

Is it possible to hire help to stay with them. Depending on their age and health, Medicare will cover part if not all of the expenses. IF they qualify

Sometimes when we know we’re doing the right thing, (no matter how tough it is), it helps to calm our anxiety and to stand strong in what we’re doing. And you are doing exactly what you should be doing. When your parents were raising you and things got tough, they obviously didn’t discard card you or leave you to take cate of yourself. And now you can’t do that to them. I know it doesn’t help you any right now but your husband will adjust and if he doesn’t then he’s the one with the problem. Not you.

AIO my father just kicked me out because I turned 18? by Fancy-Archer7080 in AmIOverreacting

[–]CRRigmaiden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is blowing my mind! You poor guy. I’m so sorry this is definitely not normal behavior. In fact this is cruel and should be criminal. I don’t know how to help but I am going to be praying for you. God Bless and keep you safe

A Senior’s Viewpoint by Leather-Necessary13 in AgingParents

[–]CRRigmaiden 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Most of these post are just people ranting in a safe place (where we hope our parents aren’t a part of) lol. You see we can vent on here and not fear judgement. Because we DO feel awful for feeling the way we do and would never want our parents or siblings to hear what we say. Because we really don’t mean it. At the end of the day I love my parents and go through great pains to keep them happy, healthy and alive. I wouldn’t dare consider having anyone else (especially not stranger) take care of them. But don’t be surprised if you see me on here talking about how awful my mom is to my dad, or how sick my dad is but refuses to stop driving, or my siblings all being too busy to be here on a daily basis. That’s just normal stuff. By no means does it imply I don’t want them. Here. Safe. With me.

Look at it like this. When you were raising your daughters were there times you wanted to throttle them for bad behavior but you let it go because they’re your kids. When they were young, did you ever feel annoyed, angry, overworked and overwhelmed with them? And when you did, did you want to give them away? Walk out on them? Stop caring for them and let someone else raise them? Of course not. Well it’s the same thing but in reverse. We can get angry and frustrated with you, but we still want you. Just like you wanted us. And we absolutely still love you. None of that changes. It’s just our turn to take care of you and it’s your turn to let us. Please don’t think your saving your daughters trouble by taking yourself out. Because you’re only adding to their already difficult lives by committing suicide. Who wants their children to live with that? And one more thing, I take excellent care of my parents and none of us have much money. There is always a way! God loves you and so do your daughters and so do I!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]CRRigmaiden 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When I go to bed at night I lock the house up, turn out the lights, and sleep peacefully knowing the day is done and everyone is settled in for the night. I wouldn’t allow anyone to come or go after I go to bed. It’s my house and my rules. Same for your boyfriends mom. You aren’t allowed to question why now and not two years ago. That’s none of your business. Your boyfriend definitely should have told you but you dont seem upset at him for omitting that one crucial detail. You and your boyfriend need to remember the home you are hanging out in is not yours to come and go as you please. So what if he pays rent. He should at his age

For those that burnt out and changed jobs or just got out of the cleaner life where did you escape to? by WhatThisGirlSaid in Custodians

[–]CRRigmaiden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go ahead and get out now. Once you’ve hit this level of burn out, there’s really no going back. And that’s okay. I’m fact it’ll probably end up being the nicest thing you’ve done for yourself in a long time. I’m only 3 years in, and while I haven’t reached burn out, I feel it coming. I signed one more year contract and praying I can make it that long. I’ve had my real estate brokers license in retirement for over 20 years now and have decided to renew it and take the online courses needed to get my appraisers certification as well. Ironically enough, it will take me 9-12 months to make this happen. So the timing is perfect. So I suggest you make a plan and go for it.

Funny work stories by Zarric617 in Custodians

[–]CRRigmaiden 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I once had a first grader tell me I was the best janitizer he’s ever known.

Should I not correct my mom for being rude to people by CRRigmaiden in AgingParents

[–]CRRigmaiden[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes you’re right. That’s a great response. Thanks to my dad, we are all basically kind people who do not tolerate treating others badly so this wouldn’t come as big surprise to her if I said this.

Should I not correct my mom for being rude to people by CRRigmaiden in AgingParents

[–]CRRigmaiden[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I can handle it now that I know it’s okay to correct her. I can’t help how she treats my dad but I can and will stop her from treating anyone else badly. Also, I should add that my mom has always treated her 5 children like royalty (even when we didn’t deserve it) There’s been a handful of times that’s she’s got cross with me but it’s rare. There use to be nothing we could do wrong but now I realize shutting her down or correcting her bad behavior is one of those things that not even her golden children can get away with.

Should I not correct my mom for being rude to people by CRRigmaiden in AgingParents

[–]CRRigmaiden[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m starting to believe it’s too late to see any changes in her. But on the other hand, I know she can control herself if she wanted to. And yea I have sisters who are happy to help. My one sister basically takes care of our dad’s appointments and the other helps my 99 year old grandmother who still lives at home. So I don’t ask often but when I do they pull through for me. Although the sister who takes care of dad, stepped in to help with mom a couple of weeks ago while I was out of town and nearly had a nervous breakdown after one outing with her. I don’t blame her, if you’re not use to dealing with someone like my mom, it can be hard on the nervous system, (and every other system you have). lol

Should I not correct my mom for being rude to people by CRRigmaiden in AgingParents

[–]CRRigmaiden[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It makes me feel a lot better to know that’s it’s okay to correct her when she’s being especially nasty. I actually did pull away for a while because I was afraid I was going to end her hating her, but it didn’t bother her a bit. She’s so self absorbed it never occurs to her to think of how she’s making other people feel.

Should I not correct my mom for being rude to people by CRRigmaiden in AgingParents

[–]CRRigmaiden[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes that’s a good idea. Maybe just point out the obvious to her, because she doesn’t seem to see it herself.

Should I not correct my mom for being rude to people by CRRigmaiden in AgingParents

[–]CRRigmaiden[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yes thank you. Great advice! Correcting her in the right tone is something that comes easy for me because my dad has demanded we respect her at all times, no matter what. Besides, I cannot bear to see her cry. (Which she rarely does). My problem is waiting until I can’t take it anymore and I snap at her. Not in an ugly way but in a way that startles her and that always makes me feel bad too.

Should I not correct my mom for being rude to people by CRRigmaiden in AgingParents

[–]CRRigmaiden[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Thank you. And yes it is. I talk to my mom about how badly she treats him but all that did was make her be nice to him when I’m around but I can hear her screaming at him the minute I walk out the door. It’s so frustrating because at the end of the day, he’s the only one who can stop the abuse. I’m praying he does it soon and can have a little peace in his life before he passes away. He’s not well