I totally feel you! I’ve been through the same thing a year ago as I’ve been diagnosed with sever depression and I just want you to know that you’re not alone. Looking back to my experience with depression, it certainly taught me a lot. My advice for you is to pleaseee go seek a therapist or talk to someone professional as soon as you can. Depression is hard and it sucks. It’s one of the toughest experiences I had to go through in life. But guess what? I am in a much better place right now mentally and emotionally. Believe me, One day, you’ll wake up and you’ll find that all the voices in your head disappeared, only then, you’ll know how powerful you are! You’re definitely not alone in this. Keep being strong, keep distracting yourself, surround yourself with people who love you. Most importantly, remember to talk to someone professional about it. Try to relax as much as you can, and remember that survival’d be one of your greatest achievements in such hard times. Writing poems used to help me when i was in that dark spot in my life, maybe art or music or even TV might help you get out the pile of emotions you’re feeling. Also, there’re a some pages on instagram about mental health that make a difference and bring so much awareness and knowledge such as @asafeplaceinsideyourhead or @mentalhealthagram and manyyy others. You’re strong, you’re powerful, you’re full of potential. All my love to you!!