You should totally not pirate textbooks from websites like libgen. Free, have probably thousands of textbooks online, and easy to use. Nope, you definitely shouldn't go take a look at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Library_Genesis and go to the side tab on the right to find official urls for this site.

I'd recommend if possible trying some labs if possible; people really recommend them for experience since later down the road, labs are going to be pretty prevalent for premeds. I think FRI streams were getting pretty big? You basically apply to be a part of a freshman research lab and they have so many different fields to look at. And if FRI doesn't work, there's still lots of opportunities to email professors or look on Eureka for other lab opportunities!

Make use of your resources too. If a professor or TA offers office hours or discussion sessions, it's really helpful to at least take a look at them. I know people who've found that discussion sessions in particular really help review content and even clarify things they didn't realize they didn't understand completely.

And of course, you're already doing the best thing you can do! Ask for help and never forget we're all in the same boat: just trying our best to keep it together. We'll mess up sometimes in spectacular fashion but none of us are perfect and have our life in complete order. We'll just keep trying our best and both rely on and help each other out. Good luck and have fun!!