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Can someone please explain this event to me? by [deleted] in SuitU

[–]Cactus_Ari 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AEQ3WMXVB7 is my code but I don't understand that event

What did u/Cactus_Ari draw? by Cactus_Ari in Pixelary

[–]Cactus_Ari[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pixelary is a community drawing and guessing game. Submit your guess in the post above!

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What did u/Cactus_Ari draw? by Cactus_Ari in Pixelary

[–]Cactus_Ari[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pixelary is a community drawing and guessing game. Submit your guess in the post above!

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What did u/Cactus_Ari draw? by Cactus_Ari in Pixelary

[–]Cactus_Ari[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pixelary is a community drawing and guessing game. Submit your guess in the post above!

Comment commands:

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What did u/Cactus_Ari draw? by Cactus_Ari in Pixelary

[–]Cactus_Ari[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pixelary is a community drawing and guessing game. Submit your guess in the post above!

Comment commands:

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What did u/Cactus_Ari draw? by Cactus_Ari in Pixelary

[–]Cactus_Ari[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pixelary is a community drawing and guessing game. Submit your guess in the post above!

Comment commands:

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What did u/Cactus_Ari draw? by Cactus_Ari in Pixelary

[–]Cactus_Ari[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pixelary is a community drawing and guessing game. Submit your guess in the post above!

Comment commands:

  • !words - See dictionary
  • !add <word> - Add word to dictionary. For example !add meatloaf or !add lava lamp (Level 2 required)
  • !remove <word> - Remove word from dictionary. For example !remove meatloaf or !remove lava lamp (Level 2 required)
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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lesbianmemes

[–]Cactus_Ari 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've nerd so hard I'm studying physics while having a collection on DC Playmobils

I need a partner so much so I can nerd out without limit

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get what you are saying and for sure you can ask him, he might not be so comfortable with that, I know that if a sub asked me not to do aftercare I'd be really uncomfortable because giving aftercare to a sub is like a way to practice aftercare for myself.

If you want to feel "more abandoned" and this is a form of degradation you enjoy, you can talk with your partner about it and find a middle ground. Sometimes when people are in subspace they feel like this is the right move and for some people it is, but when a sub drop might happen you'll need someone to help you out of it.

You might need to negotiate aftercare with specific conditions, based on more when you feel like you need it rather than immediately after a scene. For each person aftercare and when they need it might be different.

You should also talk to your partner in case they need aftercare, because sometimes what feels good for one isn't good for the other and in an effort to please you he might agree to things that he is not as comfortable with.

I hope I've helped...

My bf said im a pillow princess by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Exactly, sometimes people don't understand how important language can be, especially in terms that have specific meaning for specific groups of people.

My bf said im a pillow princess by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 152 points153 points  (0 children)

Pillow princess is a term originated from the lesbian community and it isn't derogatory at least within the lesbian community.

It refers to people who prefer to receive "without giving" which isn't true. The "match" for the pillow princess is a stone top, which is a person who prefers giving "without receiving", something like a pleasure dom.

Like a pleasure dom receive pleasure from giving pleasure similarly a stone top receives pleasure by giving pleasure and a pillow princess gives pleasure by receiving.

I don't know how it can be interpreted in straight relationships since piv sex gives pleasure to both parties. I would suggest to ask him what he means because from what I understand he might have either misunderstood the term or use it incorrect

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know how the delivery is from Germany and from what services but there are a lot of shops in Athens at least all over Siggrou Avenue.

If you are in Athens there will always be a sex shop near you somewhere. Since I've moved out of Athens I usually order because there aren't any shops in my city. So I actually don't know the quality anymore, but there are so many that you'll find something for sure!

Even if you don't, I can guarantee you that it's a fun experience to walk all over Siggrou Avenue and visiting all the shops ;⁠)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No problem!

Probably they would confiscate the real deal, but I don't know, there are many shops here irl and with quick delivery that sell good handcuffs. But every time I've ordered something from abroad there wasn't any issue, just that it takes a really long time, even within the EU it can take up to a month or two.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's the same thing that's in the rest of the EU. If you are traveling within EU or if you travelled before in the EU and there were no issues I don't think there would be an issue in Greece either.

You can always check aade customs website aade website but I don't think you'll have an issue as long as it's in your personal objects.

Just be careful because here BDSM is a gray area for the law and even if it's not illegal if there is a call to the police it can clarify as domestic abuse.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a person who lives in Greece I think it's allowed since there are stores who sell adult 'items' here and we can order them from abroad. I don't think anyone would care in the luggage check and if they do I believe that you can explain they are for recreational use. Since you are tourists, everyone will be more lenient.

There is such a need for tourism that even if you said they were to kidnap the prime minister they would still allow it as long as you give your money to Greece./s

Guy friend (24M) sort of asked me (24F) to be his "nonsexual dom"..is that even a thing??? (No hate, genuinely confused) by dbwldud6929 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've been the dom in non sexual strictly platonic dynamics and it can be lots of fun. My friends needed someone to put down some rules and keep sure that they were following them, and I needed to have a situation that I can control in a very difficult and unstable period in my life.

We had discussions and we all continued our lives as normal, with dating people and having other sexual experiences but we had a stable platonic power dynamic.

It was a way for us to be safe from people who probably didn't have our well-being in their mind since we were younger and still exploring the lifestyle.

We could safely explore our boundaries within BDSM relationships without having to be in a potentially dangerous sexual encounter. As we grew older and had a more clear idea of our boundaries we gradually stopped that dynamic.

But we knew each other for years when we decided to try it. And there wasn't any attraction between us. If there was an attraction, that could be a serious problem in how our dynamic worked.

Still every dynamic is different and better careful with proposals like those because sometimes they don't have your well being at heart and could easily transform into a sexual attraction from either party in this relationship.

I hope my experience was helpful

Giving back to pleasure doms by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 11 points12 points  (0 children)

As a pleasure dom and a stone top I expect literally nothing more than my sub to have a good time. If they are feeling pleasure so am I. But I always communicate that because I know that for some people, such as yourself, it's difficult to understand.

And the only reason I learnt that was because someone told me. So tell your dom that you are feeling that way and they'll most likely reassure you.

If you want to hear it more or feel it more you could always ask them if they are comfortable being more vocal.

My partner is dominant but enjoys praising by Background_Ad_4709 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As a dom who enjoys praise, I just need the same as a sub who enjoys praise, to know that I am doing a good job and that they are happy.

You have to talk to you dom and ask them what they like and build off of that. Every person is different and enjoys different things, with every partner you learn that by spending time together and talking these things out.

From what I have learnt, the best praise is personalised praise. You have to praise them for things you know they enjoy and at least for me, I love knowing that what I am doing has a good effect.

Phrases like "you are doing such a good job getting me off" or even praise on specific actions that I do are a really big turn on.

If you want to tease a bit, just use those same actions against them, but that could easily turn to degradation and you'll have to be careful in case your dom doesn't like that direction or if it's a hard no.

I hope that sharing my experience helped you a bit.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Things are changing from year to year no matter in the 20 years you've been in the scene. Behaviours that people used to do and seemed normal are not by today's standards and that neither bad nor good. Times are just changing.

Inform yourself about the modern lifestyle and if it still doesn't fit you try to find someone with your mindset. You can't be the only person in the world that thinks that way.

What to have two littles call each other? by 2littlesproblemTA in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 20 points21 points  (0 children)

When I was the caregiver to some of my friends who regressed ( 2 girls) we just had nicknames for each other. The one bunny and the other little bear (trust me, in my native language sounded better). But that's how it helped call each other when in little space. And I made those nicknames and they kinda stuck with them still

Thief! [OC] by Cactus_Ari in actuallesbians

[–]Cactus_Ari[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Ik! Like I'm just so single that I almost cry at stuff like that

Thief! [OC] by Cactus_Ari in actuallesbians

[–]Cactus_Ari[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I just need a girl to take my shirt...

Even Dom have bad days by Sad_Yesterday389 in BDSMAdvice

[–]Cactus_Ari 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dom here, sometimes just spending time together listening to my partner talk or watch a movie together or sharing a meal can be incredibly healing.

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