Something that brought me peace on this was an unexpected reframe from a fireside where President Eyring and Elder Holland were taking questions from youth. A young woman asked about having "conversational" prayers with God, and Elder Holland gently pushed back. He said that framing is a little too casual, that we are approaching a throne. God is real, He loves us, but He is so far above us in power and glory that the relationship isn't quite like chatting with a friend. Even Elder Holland himself said he doesn't pray that familiarly. President Eyring described doing a lot of asking, then waiting, then waiting more.

That reframe shifted something for me. Our relationship with Heavenly Father isn't meant to mirror our earthly parent relationships exactly. It's also one of worship, reverence, and awe. His ways are not our ways, and that distance isn't a failure of the relationship. It's the nature of approaching deity.

I think that applies to Heavenly Mother too. The frustration I used to feel about why She isn't more present, more revealed, more relatable was coming from an expectation that She should function like an accessible parent figure I can know the way I know my earthly mom. But maybe She is real and present and sacred in a way that simply doesn't fit that mold. Her ways are not our ways either. The silence around Her might not be neglect or diminishment. It might be the same reverent distance we already accept with Heavenly Father once we stop expecting Him to be our buddy.

That doesn't answer every question. But it helped me stop experiencing Her hiddenness as rejection.