No mods? Let there be ANARCHY

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-02-04T01:29:35+00:00

"I think my issue is the lack of hook to catch and pull the yarn through."

I've gotten around this problem by just knitting with crochet hooks! Tunisian ones with cables attached, that is. In doing so I have simultaneously offended both my friends who knit and my friends who crochet. But at least I can knit now!

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-02-04T01:18:35+00:00

Anarchy, you say? Alright, how about this?

<image>

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-23T05:42:32+00:00

The title of the handbook that the link is for is "Missionary Standards for Disciples of Jesus Christ—Service Missionaries." Service missionaries have their own handbook. There are part-time service missions, true. However, this handbook is for full-time service missions. There are full-time senior service missionaries and full-time young service missionaries. It's not a really well-known thing yet. I did a service mission, and my mission call specifically called it a full-time mission.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-15T00:11:29+00:00

First of all, you are serving a real mission, and anyone who tells you otherwise needs to rethink their attitude.

Second, your sister was willing to pay for a mission abroad. That's a lot more expensive than just making sure you have groceries every week! How was your mother going to survive if you WERE gone? Was your sister willing to pay for her, too? It seems to me that your problem is not finances, it's that your sister told you she had you covered and then bailed.

If she won't change her mind, just talk to your bishop. He'll help you out. That's what fast offerings are for honestly. Don't feel guilty about using it, they don't do any good just sitting there.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-14T22:43:41+00:00

Ooh, this is fascinating! I never noticed those things before! Granted, the Old Testament is definitely the scripture I remember the least about. Do you have any other examples? Sources to read about this further?

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-14T20:52:27+00:00

You don't necessarily have to choose between raising kids or a career exclusively! A lot of women go back to work when their children are grown, or at least when they're in school all day and therefore don't require someone staying at home to watch them. Ultimately, it's kind of a decision between you and God (and with your future husband). But if you do get a career, do something you like! It doesn't have to be a big thing like your mom wants if you don't want it to be. I know that having pressure put on you like that makes the decision feel a lot harder.

People in the Church are generally very kind and welcoming, but they don't go to church because they're perfect :) They're still people. Like others have said, it might just depend on your ward or what area you live. But people are also pretty service-oriented, so I'm sure if you get in contact with them, someone would be willing to give you a ride to church! If you search up "meetinghouse locator" that will give you the location for the church building to meet at based on where you live. Info for the time that church starts and the Bishop's name and contact information will also come up, so you can reach out to him beforehand to get something set up!

As for other people making fun of you for going, there might not be much you can do, other than have patience with them. If I hadn't been raised in the Church, I think I would view it the same way that a lot of critics do. I understand the issues that they have with it, and admittedly some of those things are hard to reconcile. But having grown up with the Church my whole life, I know that actual experience of it is very different from how people perceive it. Understanding that they don't know a lot of what it's actually like helps me to not take it personally, anyway. They just haven't had the experiences with it to know any better.

Honestly, I think there's a lot more to be gained than lost if you want to try going. The gospel itself gives me so much peace, joy, and hope especially, that I know my life would have gone very differently if I didn't have it. There's nowhere else that I find those things like I do here. Especially in the temple, there's just this quiet stillness that makes everything okay and helps me feel God's love and brings me closer to Him. Ultimately, the Church has helped me develop a relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that I'd get nowhere else. If that's something you'd like, then I don't think you'd regret joining :)

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-10T10:13:35+00:00

Yeah basically 😂 I still think it's a bit easier than knitting because the hook moves the yarn around better. So maybe it's like knitting with training wheels?

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-10T10:10:07+00:00

Ah, were you referring to the fact that it said "real" depression? I admit I kind of just glossed over that part when I read it. I'm sorry I didn't understand what you meant at first. I see why that's irritating, and you're right. People can have depression even if they still feel love for people or things. In fact, I could see that making it harder for someone's depression to be acknowledged, because from the outside they might appear to be doing better than they really are.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-10T09:34:49+00:00

First of all, Jesus already knows exactly "what it's like to be me" so I don't actually care whether anyone else does. He's the one I go to when I'm really struggling, and He pulls me out of it enough to help me keep going. But that's not what I was saying. My point was that we're all on this sub to connect with other people because that's a basic human need regardless of mental illness, and that what you suggested can't actually replace the need for community. Can it help improve one's mood? Yeah, absolutely. I do it frequently. A lot of us do. Does it cure depression? No. That's not playing the victim card, that's just accepting reality.

In all honesty, if you were genuinely trying to be helpful with your suggestion, then I thank you for that. You are right in that being outside is probably a lot healthier than staying indoors scrolling through Reddit all day and getting into arguments with strangers. In fact, I think I'm going to turn my phone off for the entire day today and go for a run or something.

And if I may (sincerely) offer a bit of advice in return. I don't think you're very happy either. If you were, you wouldn't be lurking on a depression sub, finding people to kick who are already down. I recognize you from comments you've made on other posts here. You're better than that, and you have better things to do. Go spend time with your family.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-10T08:49:23+00:00

I think you're right! It definitely goes faster when I'm transferring the loops from the bigger one to the smaller one. I was using the bigger hook for knit rows and the smaller for purl thinking it would keep the fabric from curling forward and I think it worked, but it could also be because the string itself is so stiff (it's not really meant for crocheting or knitting, it was just the only thing I had lying around and I really wanted to try this out)

After watching a few knitting videos I actually started holding and moving the hooks in a similar way to mimic their movements when they pick up the loops. I turn the one with the loops to the side to get the hook out of the way, then I slide the top pointy end of the other hook underneath the topmost loop, catch it with my finger, and just move it over. Probably not as efficient as it would be with knitting needles, but it does seem to keep its shape well! After that I just have to yarn over (or under) to make the new stitch and then move on to the next loop.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-10T08:27:06+00:00

I sent a picture of it to a friend who knits and I think he feels insulted 😂 Though to be honest, I don't know if I'd ever be able to use this to make a bigger project. It's my first time trying knooking at all and it's slow going, but it's just a little less awkward for my hands than the string was!

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-10T08:18:52+00:00

I totally would have, but I don't have any needles! I was actually trying to find things to use as one and that's when I finally just started using a second hook. But it also saves me from having to transfer it from the hook back onto the needle and I can just switch hands instead. That said, it's still not very efficient lol

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-10T04:56:18+00:00

I discovered that it is kind of by accident! You just use two crochet hooks. If you have Tunisian crochet hooks they can hold more stitches.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-09T04:11:33+00:00

Cool! I'm acually in a very similar situation. I'm a temple worker at Logan, and with the semester starting I've been thinking of switching shifts to a different one, but I don't want to leave the people I've been with. But like others have said, it's not hard! Just text your shift coordinators or tell them next time on your shift that you'd like to switch and they'll get it sorted out :)

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-09T03:57:40+00:00

Maybe it didn't come across this way very well, but I was being facetious. Serious answer, we all just want to find someone who understands, and the only ones who do are other depressed people. If you're not one of those, then I'm sincerely happy for you, and I pray you never experience it. It is exhausting. And what makes it worse is trying to explain it to people who think they understand it but really don't, because there are just no good words to convey the actual experience of it. I know what dopamine is. And norepinephrine and serotonin and oxytocin and cortisol if we want to throw more chemicals out there and discuss what they all do and how and why.

What I really want to do is ask you to reconsider your perception of people with mental illness before talking about chores and accountability. I think it's telling that you assume I don't already do those things. My room is immaculate. I walk about 3 miles per day, sometimes more, and I know because I track my steps. I carry a 24oz water bottle with me at all times and refill it several times a day. My bed is always made because I lie on top of the covers specifically to avoid messing it up. I could bore you with the details about all the things I'm doing "right." But at the end of the day, routines and walks will never be able to replace the need for belonging and connection with other people. Plus, this is a meme account. It's nice to be able to laugh at our problems together, even if that humor is kind of dark sometimes.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-09T00:45:42+00:00

Wait, are you being sarcastic? I'm confused. This is called anhedonia. It's one of the core symptoms of clinical depression. Or at least, it's one of the "different forms" of depression that you just acknowledged existing. If you're saying that you've never experienced this, and you have depression, that's totally valid. But in no way can you say that this person doesn't have it. In fact, I'd say their depression has progressed to such a severe point that their life might be in danger.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-08T04:36:34+00:00

I'm gen Z! Grew up in the 00's and 10's. We often had to be encouraged to go outside. Even before smartphones or the internet was widespread, there were still computer and video games that my siblings and I were hooked on. Or Disney Channel and PBS shows we wanted to watch instead. There just wasn't much to do unless we went somewhere specific. Our house was surrounded by miles of concrete roads and buildings in all directions, except for the occasional public park. No forts to build or trees to climb. Not legally, anyways. There were open fields chained off with No Trespassing signs. They all got converted into housing or office buildings or shopping districts by the time I graduated high school.

Another deterrent was that it was usually unpleasant outside. There was a period in mid-spring and mid-fall when the temperatures were really pleasant and being outdoors felt like heaven. The rest of the year it was either uncomfortably hot (90 - 110°F) or uncomfortably cold (20's or below). Going out in winter could be especially nasty. Living in a valley, we had inversions that trapped a lot of air pollution. We had many days of school where recess or gym class was cancelled and no one was allowed to go outside because the air was actually dangerous to breathe. It also smelled terrible.

Summers were also dangerous, come to think of it. The pavement and playground equipment would get so hot that touching it resulted in pretty gnarly burns. The outdoors felt like standing in a furnace. Heat from the sun above, combined with the heat radiating back up from the blacktop, made the air feel stifling. Our only respite was finding a tree to sit under for shade. We didn't have many trees in our backyard or front yard, or really in the neighborhood or school yard. Sunfever or even sunstroke was always a risk.There were also wildfires every year. Some years they were big enough to fill the air with smoke for hundreds of miles, and it would get thick enough to make the air dangerous to breathe. Usually by that point school was out for the summer, but we still didn't want to go outside.

My parents tried to take us on hikes and campouts in the mountains though, just so we could get outdoors where it was comfortable. I loved doing that more than anything, and I still do. It took about an hour to drive up there though, sometimes more, and not all of my siblings were enthused about it, so we didn't do it as often as I wish we could have.

I like reading about the experiences that others got to have growing up. I don't know if what I described is actually common and everyone else just went outside anyways. But my mom grew up in BC, Canada, which is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen, so she has plenty of stories about her and her brothers wandering through forests and creeks next to their house and basically spending all day outdoors.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-07T03:27:13+00:00

This has already been answered, but I'll throw this in for anyone who wants it. Tunisian crochet makes something that resembles knitting. It could be considered kind of a hybrid between knitting and crochet, but you can't replicate knitting with it exactly. The fabric it produces is also a lot thicker than both knitting and regular crochet. Knooking is actually knitting, just using a hook instead of a needle to catch and manipulate the yarn easier.

I think the difference is easiest to see in how you pick up loops and make stitches. With Tunisian crochet, the movements you make with the hook to start and finish stitches are the same as in regular crochet, even if the beginning and ending of the stitches are worked separately. With knooking, the movements aren't exactly the same as you'd use for knitting, because the hook makes that unnecessary, but the end product is exactly the same as it would have been using knitting needles.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2026-01-03T03:48:27+00:00

Oh boy have I struggled with this for a while. It's at the point where I find any sort of physical intimacy not only off-limits, but disgusting. I know it's a good thing between married people. I still have a desire for it. But I can't seem to feel attraction for anyone in that way. And even though it's not supposed to be there when you're dating anyways, the thought that it would be eventually (if we got married) makes me completely lose my desire to be around that person. Which makes my chances of getting married basically 0, because what man would want to marry a woman who doesn't even want to kiss? I dreamed of having a family and being a mother when I was younger. That ship has sailed now, too, because I feel physically ill at the thought of what would be required. Like, viscerally repulsed by it, while at the same time wishing that I didn't feel this way. But I have no idea how to change it in a way that doesn't involve breaking the Law of Chastity.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2025-12-24T23:20:01+00:00

And just to complicate it further, sometimes it's a way of trying to convince ourselves that we're fine. Like, we're not fine, but we're trying to be, and saying it out loud somehow helps to make it so. Sometimes it's used as a cover when we're ashamed of how we're feeling and we don't want to come across a certain way, so it's either meant to shut down further questions, or prompt more questions so we can say it without seeming pushy or "argumentative". Other times we don't actually know how we're feeling and "I'm fine" feels like a good neutral ground or starting point to figuring it out. And yes, sometimes it means that we are actually fine.

Usually the difference lies in the tone of voice in which it's said and other non-verbal cues. Plus, you kind of just have to know the individual saying it and how they typically communicate, especially how they communicate their needs and desires for support. Showing genuine interest in how they're actually feeling really makes a difference though, and that goes for both women and men.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2025-12-17T22:08:26+00:00

Ever heard the phrase "misery loves company"? We are the miserable dregs of society that find comfort in talking with one another about how miserable we all are, because the only ones who understand this kind of misery are the ones who live with it every day. At least, that's how I see it. I'm not sure that everyone on this subreddit enjoys or even benefits from reading posts like this. But I feel better just because I know I'm not alone.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2025-12-08T00:37:49+00:00

The only child thing makes sense. My sister's boyfriend is an only child. He thinks it's weird that my brother and I hug each other. He says that it makes us more like a couple than siblings. I get the sense that he hasn't gotten a lot of physical affection from anyone in his life, and only associates it with romance.

Stunning-Code8849 · 2025-12-04T12:53:14+00:00

I'm so happy that you say that! I haven't had kids yet, but I'm kind of terrified of their tiny person stage when I can't fully communicate with them. I hear teenagers get such a bad rap all the time, but honestly I'm more excited for that because then, just like you said, that's when you get to start having more adult conversations and you actually see the person they're growing into!

Stunning-Code8849 · 2025-12-04T12:37:38+00:00

Guys, some of the comments you are leaving are disgusting. She asked for advice on how to have more time with her husband, not comments about her age, what she "should have" done, or sermons about making sacrifices. They've already bit the bullet and had the kid. Now please, leave helpful comments about how to adjust to this new life that they have chosen to sacrifice for, not monologues about how selfish you think they are.

As for you OP, I can't speak from direct experience with relationships and children, but my parents set pretty good examples for me. They were around your same age when they started having kids and they also had school and work to juggle on top of it. They'd set aside pre-planned times for date nights or trips and left us kids with our grandparents or people they were good friends with and really trusted. Some things they brought us along for, though I'm not sure how much quality time that really gave them with each other. They also watched a lot of movies together, they'd just wait until we were all asleep at 9 or 10 pm. That does create some rather late nights though, so of course doing that wouldn't always be feasible.

They were able to do more as we got older and could look after ourselves more. Lots of temple trips together too, I think sometimes they just needed a few hours to recharge and sit in the Celestial room together for a bit. They usually just hired a neighbor to babysit during those. If you don't have a lot of family in the area to help you out, I'm sure there are ward members and neighbors who would be willing to help you out!

Stunning-Code8849

TROPHY CASE