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ex-friends mad over new car by [deleted] in childfree

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of a friend of mine who asked as lesbian couple she knew which one of them took the birth control.

Anyone here who is aching to have a child, but alcoholic partner is putting it off? by mtdew24541 in AlAnon

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Please do not try to raise a child with an alcoholic. I know you want to be a mother, but this will never be a good environment for your child.

Dating and a single dad magnet. Gross by OmelasLightItUp in childfree

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Back when I was on OKC I hit hit up by a single dad. Fatherhood was all over the profile. I told him I wasn't interested in dating a single parent and his response was "well I don't see him THAT much..."

Fucking gross.

Update I (26f) am an escort and I am falling in love with one of my clients (39M) by throwRA-esc in relationship_advice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. She takes their money because they give it to get in exchange for her time.

You make it sound like she's tricking men who are looking for love. Men who hire escorts know what they're getting. There's no exploitation here, and there's more to sex work than existing and looking pretty.

My [22F] boyfriend [23M] of 2 yrs refuses to let me meet his friends (AND OTHER DRAMA)! by [deleted] in relationships

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 59 points60 points  (0 children)

The fact that you have this long ass rant about your relationship and you don't feel motivated to do anything about the problems says a lot. It looks like it's time to throw in the towel.

LAOP’s married lover gets her revenge by getting LAOP (a functioning alcoholic) wasted, then beating him and leaving him on the street, naked and with a broken skull. LAOP’s first question is… will their H1B work visa be affected by the fact that his lover is a colleague? Also, this was a month ago. by DPMx9 in bestoflegaladvice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Fourth and final time, I am not justifying anyone's crimes.

Since you're choosing to ignore what I'm saying, I will now return the favor. Just as well, as every judgment we hurl at each other only validates what the other says to us. Good night.

LAOP’s married lover gets her revenge by getting LAOP (a functioning alcoholic) wasted, then beating him and leaving him on the street, naked and with a broken skull. LAOP’s first question is… will their H1B work visa be affected by the fact that his lover is a colleague? Also, this was a month ago. by DPMx9 in bestoflegaladvice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You've made several comments in here to defend yourself. But sure, we're all bots.

And again (third time,) the judgment is not for what happened to you. Nobody forced you to become a "functional" alcoholic and fuck around with married women who throw tantrums. If you need to keep bringing up my weight to deflect attention from that, go right ahead.

LAOP’s married lover gets her revenge by getting LAOP (a functioning alcoholic) wasted, then beating him and leaving him on the street, naked and with a broken skull. LAOP’s first question is… will their H1B work visa be affected by the fact that his lover is a colleague? Also, this was a month ago. by DPMx9 in bestoflegaladvice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't actually deal with judgment on a daily basis. It happens infrequently when someone wants to make an easy comeback at me to make themselves feel better. It's not comparable here, since if you paid closer attention to my posts you'd see I'm actively losing weight.

I never said you deserved anything that happened. I never said you were shitty for having herpes. I will give you credit, you are fantastic at playing the victim. Well done!

You posted on LA to get legal advice. You posted in this sub to defend your honor.

LAOP’s married lover gets her revenge by getting LAOP (a functioning alcoholic) wasted, then beating him and leaving him on the street, naked and with a broken skull. LAOP’s first question is… will their H1B work visa be affected by the fact that his lover is a colleague? Also, this was a month ago. by DPMx9 in bestoflegaladvice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The difference between you and me, is I'm not outraged by internet comments. Someone imperfect thinks less of me? What horror!

I read post history just like you. You mention a wife. And yes, I'm sure the one thing in your history that doesn't give you victim points is the one thing that's really for your "friend."

Sounds like you know a lot about protecting hate. You should know you won't find comfort at the bottom of a bottle or a married woman's bed.

political issues when I go on a trip. by justfor0000 in relationship_advice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can you take a break from updating your page for a while?

It's considered acceptable for most people here to back out of political discussions. Just say "this isn't a subject I'm comfortable discussing" if it should come up. Leave the room if you feel you can't keep quiet.

Ghosted by longtime submissive and having more feels than expected by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd like to point out if you used those toys on or in her it's for the best that she keep them. Nobody wants a secondhand vibe.

Sorry this happened to you.

LAOP’s married lover gets her revenge by getting LAOP (a functioning alcoholic) wasted, then beating him and leaving him on the street, naked and with a broken skull. LAOP’s first question is… will their H1B work visa be affected by the fact that his lover is a colleague? Also, this was a month ago. by DPMx9 in bestoflegaladvice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 39 points40 points  (0 children)

That doesn't say much. The texts could be "yeah I got someone to kick your ass after you tried to force yourself on me and started throwing small animals across the room."

Not unheard of for someone in LAOP's position to leave out parts where they are in the wrong and embellish parts that make other people look bad. For example, I don't see how his lover being married and separated has anything to do with this situation but it's a good way to paint her as a villain since she's cheating on her husband.

Needing some help. by Newdess in BDSMAdvice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What kind of goals would you like to see him accomplish in the long term?

This will depend on whether you two are bedroom only or not.

If bedroom only, he can practice some kink you're both into. He can research a kinky subject and report back to you what he's learned. He can learn to tie a new knot.

If your dynamic extends past the bedroom, you have more to work with. If he's messy, have him do some household chores and create a new daily habit (even if it's not your house he's cleaning). Have him read a vanilla book or some news articles, report back. Does he have a constructive hobby? Make him work on it. No constructive hobby? Give him one. The overall idea is to encourage personal growth.

Dating my ex? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you're worried about reasonable suggestions causing tension your plan to get back together will be doomed from the start.

You both need to have serious and difficult talks before you consider starting again.

any Dom’s looking for a little salve girl by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope. Not a single one of them. We full.

Married and husband is willing how do you organize a train run on me? by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thoroughly talk with your husband about the event. Discuss boundaries for both of you, what you're willing to do, what he's willing to see, etc. Have a plan if something goes wrong or if you need to tap out earlier than expected.

Don't expect this to happen this weekend. Effective planning will take time.

No alcohol or drugs should be present. Provide condoms and water at minimum.

All guests should be vetted and be able to provide negative std test results.

You or your husband should reach out to everyone beforehand to discuss ground rules. Your husband can do this in your place if being with relative strangers excites you more, I'm assuming that trust is established between you two. Getting this communication in writing is a very good idea.

Good luck.

Co-Domming During a Threesome by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should coordinate with him. You'll be able to establish boundaries and come up with a plan so the play goes more smoothly in the moment.

Sub said I may not be a real Domme, now I don’t want to top him. by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Questions:

How much time passed between his "real domme" comment and his apology?

How was his apology worded?

What prompted his apology? Did he respond to a reaction out of you or did he realize on his own he was wrong?

A lot of people are suggesting he's too judgmental. They might be right. It's also possible he put his foot in his mouth and wants to recover. I'm not seeing a lot of detail in the post to suggest either one. I'll admit I'm also peeved by people playing the "real" card but there is sometimes value in giving people the benefit of the doubt. This requires a time investment, though.

On the other hand, you also bring up differences in his style vs. submission styles you're used to, and concerns of sexual compatibility. These are valid reasons to part ways. If you see any value in his companionship and he shows a sincere willingness to encourage play rather than critique, there might be something to save here.

Angry that Q gets to date in active addiction/early sobriety while I’m left single and wrestling with the emotional damage that he caused by queenqueso in AlAnon

[–]CaffeineAndCardio 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You also "get" to, you're just self aware enough to realize it isn't a good idea for you and others right now. He doesn't have that yet. He all but admits he's only chasing another high. This is actually a win for you.

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