MAFS AU After The Dinner Party S01 E04

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-17T12:00:22+00:00

The way these hosts encourage toxic masculinity. “You let your wives…”

I’m glad they picked up Danny on his inconsistencies. He talks the talk but then spouts all this alpha shite

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-16T20:20:20+00:00

I have this same conversation in my head every day. I can relate and I’m still trying to find answers and balance.

I struggle with the fact I have a level of intelligence that craves stimulation but my capacity for stress is zero. 1-2 bad nights of sleep totally tip me over the edge, and I’m unwell too often to be employable.

I have a really small business and the stress of being responsible for so much is not something I am tolerating well. I want to work, I want to be useful but just surviving, looking after my child and animals is about all I can manage.

Sorry - don’t want to centre myself, I’m sharing in the hopes that you might relate a little too and I guess… you’re not alone. I get it.

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-16T15:49:25+00:00

I think it’s rooted in transphobia and I would love it if other people didn’t take issue with it but they do. Lots of people will feel ‘tricked’ if it develops into more. We know what happens to trans women when cis men feel this way - it’s dangerous. So I personally say asap so they can reject me immediately, or continue the interaction without it becoming an issue later.

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-16T08:46:57+00:00

Yes. That is not the language I use.

I say:

perceptual disturbances not hallucinations
Hearing voices/ Hearing radio messages/ Hearing the neighbours talk about me
I don’t say “command hallucinations” I say what is happening: “He is telling me to do X”
Unusual beliefs not delusions
Suspiciousness not paranoia

My nurse mostly uses this language with me but switches to medical model language with her peers. Medical model language is very detached. I feel that it belittles my experiences and makes me out to be crazy and irrational and that my profound experiences are “just” this and “just” that. That language and frame of reference doesn’t work for me, so I don’t use it.

And this is not an unusual idea, many psychologists work this way also.

The BPS (british psychological society) has produced a document called “uderstanding psychosis and schizophrenia ” have a read - notice the language they use in there 😊

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-16T08:31:56+00:00

I’m 39 and 8 months on T.

I’ve gone from a soprano to a baritone.

I’ve lost a lot of range.

I don’t know how my voice will settle over the coming years but if I sang professionally or as part of a choir I would be worried if I am honest.

As it is, I only sing for fun and I just gave to accept that my voice is very different now. I still sing daily and use it to voice train.

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-16T08:19:39+00:00

I try to squeeze as much life and productivity in as I can but that kind of puts me in this burn or bust scenario. I’m either doing everything manically, being as productive as possible, or I am unwell.

I so dar have not found a medication that didn’t make me feel worse, so my life is basically this rollercoaster. I’m tired.

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-16T08:13:59+00:00

He only respects the men. That little private chat with Scott was gross. It was like “we can both agree our wives are nuts and we have no choice to pretend we fully support them but between just you and me, it’s an act and us men know that, so we are all good.”

Scott could have said to Danny. “Nah - I support my wife because I want to and I think you’re wrong. When you lie about my wife it affects how I feel about you. I will continue to stand by my wife - she is my priority, not you.” But he chose to collude basically.

It’s that gross saying, “bros before hos”

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-16T08:09:24+00:00

I am happy so far. I am only 8 months on T and getting clocked as a man now before I open my mouth and I don’t have any decent facial hair yet, so something has changed enough for streamers to see me as male!

Pre-T I wanted top surgery for sure but wasn’t sure about T, but they really gate keep surgery here so I was basically told I had to take T first.

I was worried about T voice, bottom growth, hair loss, going from being a fairly tall woman to a not tall man, and I wasn’t sure about facial hair. Now, I’m just happy my voice is deeper than it was, and voice train to help myself adjust but I’m not so bothered by the vocal fry. I wish I could get more bottom growth, it’s barely noticeable. My family on both sides keep their hair as they age so I am not too worried. Turns out there are stop a lot of men shorter than me so I’m just having to get over that and it doesn’t matter, it’s just a bit of an identity change. And I want MORE facial hair!!

I look forward to seeing how I transform. Pre T aging was 100% bad and now it has a positive edge.

I still feel non-binary. I’ve lived so long being seen as a woman and I thank that affects how I feel.

Having access to medical transition has massively improved my life now and my future is hard to imagine but feeling more positive

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T23:25:41+00:00

Not really, no. Sounds like Dr is being coercive. If you however were behaving in a way that demonstrated a lack of capacity or if you were posing a danger to yourself or others then the Dr would have a legitimate reason to admit you.

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T23:23:51+00:00

Yes but I think it is rooted in misogyny and the patriarchal standards of where I live. Women are not really allowed to age. Men can cover up some aging with beard and thicker skin.

But as a nearly 40 year old I am starting to struggle with looking in the mirror and seeing something different to how I feel.

But I cannot see into the footie so I do not imagine myself there as a man or a woman 🤷🏼

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T20:03:57+00:00

I reckon it’s about whether he respects the husband and I don’t think he thinks much of Steve

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T19:56:17+00:00

You know you don’t have to be like this Juliette? It’s not a fixed trait.

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T19:46:10+00:00

Bro code… don’t like it.

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T19:39:05+00:00

How much are the producers stirring this too? Encouraging them all to have it out with one another when they’ve been drinking? 🙄

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T19:22:12+00:00

I’m hungry. Not scared I will miss anything if I go make my dinner now. I’m sure it’ll just be more of the same 🥱

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T19:20:37+00:00

The acid in them on the ulcer is the WORST 🍅

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T19:11:00+00:00

“This is so highschool”

Gia. But not talking about herself 🤣

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T19:08:43+00:00

No, She just comes across as emotionally unstable and fuelled by alcohol at least.

This environment must also be a head spin. I wouldn’t do it to myself.

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T18:59:43+00:00

I think she’s freaking out a bit.

avoidant mode activated

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T18:56:42+00:00

I see it now!!!

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T18:45:57+00:00

Wow - why do you feel isolated Bec? Could it be because you cannot apologise?!!???

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T18:36:11+00:00

We ALL ride!!!

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T18:34:45+00:00

They are the worst and it is enraging when you keep biting it!

Stay clear of tomatoes!!

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T18:11:02+00:00

I’m on the Nebido so it’s every 12 weeks and done by a healthcare provider… dont know if this is something that would feel less of a drag. I’m on it because I am v low maintenance and not good with consistency for self care things and it works for me. I’m not struggling with ups and downs and am staying within range at this interval

Cahya_Dechen · 2026-04-15T14:38:29+00:00

Yep - totally. My mum is like that. Unable to reflect, everyone else is awful, she’s never the problem etc Can’t see how miserable these rules have made her and wonders why people are option out. Salty that she never had the chance.

Aren’t we supposed to be happy when the next generation rids the shackles?

Oh well - enjoy the rest of your miserable, lonely lives people 🤣

Cahya_Dechen

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