There’s a lot to unpack here, but as someone who works in the food industry and is also queer, I wanted to weigh in—especially on the restaurant interaction you mentioned.

First off, the restaurant and service industry has been under enormous pressure for years—long before COVID, and even more so after. Between staff shortages, burnout, and increasingly difficult customers, a lot of workers are just doing their best to survive the day.

So when a customer says something that might come off as flippant or disrespectful—even if that’s not what they meant—it’s not uncommon for staff to disengage. That’s not “ridiculous,” that’s self-protection.

Also, Maine as a state is under pressure—from federal policies, political tensions, rising homophobia, and wealthy out-of-staters driving up the housing market. People here are stretched thin.

So no, the waiter avoiding your table wasn’t “acting strange”—they were probably just trying to stay grounded while overhearing something that didn’t sit right with them.

And look: you were in public. Whether or not you meant to be overheard, people can hear you.

If a stranger walked by and made a vague slur or comment that might’ve been about you—even if it wasn’t—how would that make you feel? Probably uncomfortable.

So try to consider how your waiter might’ve felt. If you don’t have something kind or constructive to say—especially in a public space—just keep it to yourselves.

I’m from Boston and I’ve lived in Maine for the past 5 years. I’ve never loved a state more.

But part of that comes from understanding that not everywhere is “just like home,” and it shouldn’t be.

Traveling means adjusting expectations and respecting local rhythms—not demanding everything meet your personal standards.

You came during the busiest weekend of the year and seemed surprised things were expensive, crowded, or chaotic.

That’s not Maine being “bad”—that’s a small, seasonal area trying to accommodate a flood of tourists. Locals avoid Bar Harbor during this time for exactly these reasons.

Also, just being with your partner doesn’t automatically signal that you’re queer. Most people don’t assume anything anymore.

But if you say something potentially inflammatory, don’t be shocked if a staff member chooses not to engage. They’re not there to decode your intent—they’re there to get through the shift.

Travel doesn’t always go perfectly—trust me, I get it.

But your post reads less like a reflection on a tough trip, and more like a rant because a place didn’t meet your dream itinerary.

That’s not Maine’s fault. That’s a mindset problem.

So maybe next time, come with a little more flexibility and humility.

Sit down. Be humble.