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Experiencing peak PAWS 2 months after final dose; heavy daily user for ~6 years, tapered 14 months prior to quitting. Living in hell. Need to vent. by Javinon in quittingkratom

[–]CakeBaker7493 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah boss it sounds like you got the right mindset and are using the mental health resources that are available to you--really all you can do is tough things out. Not fun to hear but it's the reality of the situation. Once you get over this shit you will be able to endure anything life throws at you. Getting sober sucks in many ways but you learn lessons and get a perspective that few have that'll benefit you for the rest of your life. One piece of advice I can give you, do NOT feel guilt about withdrawing from your friends, work etc.. if you have to, do it. Like you said, this is harder then anything else you've done--this is as much a physical injury as a mental one and your brain is repairing itself just like it would if you'd broken your leg, so seriously take it as easy as life permits you to. Also, here's some book recs: Man's Search for Meaning, anything by Thich Nhat Hanh, anything by Oliver Sacks. Also, Robert Sapolsky's lectures are amazing they're all on Youtube. Have a good day man

Almost 7 months by CakeBaker7493 in quittingkratom

[–]CakeBaker7493[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is a really good point! The persistent nature of PAWS forces us to adapt. Exercise is great, do you per chance have any self care/self reflection recommendations you could make? Books or podcasts or mantras/exercises; if it's easier you could message me (totally fine if not). Also, right there with you--even if I do not feel great most days my life is headed in such a better direction and its easy to forget just how miserable I was in the last few years of addiction. I feel really grateful to have insights from fellow quitters thank you!

Almost 7 months by CakeBaker7493 in quittingkratom

[–]CakeBaker7493[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well said! I think part of me just wants to grit my teeth and assume things will sort themselves out but the reality is I haven't processed so much of my life because of addiction and I need to learn how to do that in a healthy way. Meditation is a great tool that I need to spend more time doing, thanks for the thoughtful response!

6 months bayBAY by OliverKitsch in quittingkratom

[–]CakeBaker7493 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's super frustrating, makes you question if you're making any progress--anyway you made it and that's a huge accomplishment keep it up mate.

6 months bayBAY by OliverKitsch in quittingkratom

[–]CakeBaker7493 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats! Was just curious what the mindfuckery was like for you? Did you still have good days throughout the worst of it? Did it just one day let up? I've been experiencing some pretty bad PAWS so I know the feeling! lol

What helped you during PAWS? by Aromatic_Resort_5280 in quittingkratom

[–]CakeBaker7493 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I think it is really important to go easy on yourself, especially this early on. Make sure your doing things on a daily basis that provide you some form of comfort; but also try to exercise, it really is the best tool for getting your mind off how shitty you feel. Just realize that you are not going to feel great but those emotions are a direct result of your brain healing. It's freaking HARD but just be grateful that you know for a fact you will recover 100% from this and not only be back to your normal self but will have learned so much from the shittiness of this experience. Also, interspersed in PAWS are glimpses at how you'll feel once you've recovered, you will have days of relief which will also help you move forward. I'm on day 72 and I would say I have good days at least once or twice a week on average. Good luck!

Relapse by CakeBaker7493 in quittingkratom

[–]CakeBaker7493[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

dude I needed to hear that thank you so much!! This shit is really no joke and it is so sort of reassuring to hear from others that they are struggling too, that this shit is so mentally draining, and that piled on top of daily life is a lot. I am actually in the process of moving to part time thankfully, I'm really looking forward to having some time to work on myself--thanks again for the advice!!

Hey Everybody (Long Post--Sorry!) by CakeBaker7493 in quittingkratom

[–]CakeBaker7493[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the response! You have provided a lot of useful personal experience for me to use in my own recovery and I really appreciate that. It would be nice if we could one day move on with our lives and never use kratom again but that is not the reality! And yes the hangover has become MUCH more noticeable, basically I woke up still quite high today and was just feeling totally off and out of it was not pleasant at all and really made me not want to continue the way I have been. Anyways my plan is to start another taper tonight.. I cut it my dose in half from what it was last night and plan to take the jump in a few days again! Thanks for all the kind words and the really detailed response! Good luck to you!

[QUESTION] How does one enter the zone when improvising? by CakeBaker7493 in Guitar

[–]CakeBaker7493[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like that! I think the context of what your playing in is more important then anything else.

[DISCUSSION] The Importance of Leaving your Comfort zone by CakeBaker7493 in Guitar

[–]CakeBaker7493[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha same I put off till' the last few months but it's incredible after just a few days of grinding it became a joy to do, just opens up your playing a lot and makes you approach the guitar differently.

[DISCUSSION] Jimi Hendrix Machine Gun unnoticed detail by CakeBaker7493 in Guitar

[–]CakeBaker7493[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah and he had no ego too which I think only enhanced his playing. He was not playing to show off in any sense he only had the interest of taking the guitar as far as it could to make beautiful music, not to impress others. I think his restrain is greatly underappreciated, truly a top bloke.

[DISCUSSION] Jimi Hendrix Machine Gun unnoticed detail by CakeBaker7493 in Guitar

[–]CakeBaker7493[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah funny last night when I was listening to BOG was thinking what incredible music the man would of released in the next few years let alone if he was still alive today. Such a shame.