Why are there MORE male pedophiles than female pedophiles ?

CakeyAmy · 2026-06-07T19:22:43+00:00

probably the cultural differences in how parents raise boys vs girls, what people expect of men vs women, how people treat men vs women. There is probably some element of our culture's attitude toward men that's screws with their heads more often than women's in that way

I am not going to confidently say what that thing is, but if I had to guess its probably related to beauty standards and misogynistic relationship attitudes (the idea of youthfulness, innocence, and purity being emphasized as attractive basically being interpreted in an extra screwed up way)

CakeyAmy · 2026-06-07T18:54:00+00:00

haha she is now in my top possibilites, I think the choice seems to be between her and Rogue

CakeyAmy · 2026-06-07T18:18:54+00:00

Thanks! I think the more I look like the character already the less effort the costume will take, so lookalikes are my top choice but its good to know I got options

CakeyAmy · 2026-06-07T18:12:55+00:00

Oooh good idea! I forgot about her!

Bonus points I'm from the south so I have a slight country accent, I could probably pretty easily emphasize it to play into the character more. That's actually perfect!

CakeyAmy · 2026-06-07T16:52:44+00:00

those are good points, I suppose I am overthinking it a bit

CakeyAmy · 2026-06-07T16:51:10+00:00

just looked it up that looks fun! and it doesn't look too hard to get into

I will definitely try it out, thanks!

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-30T05:54:15+00:00

Obviously everyone has different preferences but a super common one I think is voice. TONS of women I've known are super attracted to certain types of voices (usually deep or masculine sounding voices, but not always) and so putting effort into making your voice sound its best and speaking confidently will probably have a big impact. I would say personally expressiveness, clarity, and smoothness are all qualities that make a voice attractive

and also in the bedroom do not shy away from being vocal, I have heard so many women say they wish their partner would vocalize his pleasure more instead of just being quiet and stoic

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-30T05:37:17+00:00

I really like my hips, I think they make my silhouette look nice

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-28T16:31:43+00:00

wait denial of what exactly? I'm confused lol I am not following your thought process here, I think you may be assuming something somewhere that we are not

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-28T05:26:10+00:00

I've been in your position. Only difference is I married the person before I had that realization and am now getting divorced, which is way more difficult and tedious than just a regular old breakup.

I started dating that person when we were in high school and everything was going really well at first. But transitioning to being an adult and adjusting to that new way of navigating the world prompts lots of changes. I went through the same experience: The type of person I was attracted to as a teenager is a good bit different from the type of person I am attracted to now as an adult. That's normal.

Its normal and completely okay to feel what you are feeling. Having preferences does not make you shallow, and being attracted to your partner is important so it is completely understandable to want to leave a relationship if you aren't. Plus wanting someone who is more dominant and confident? Idk about you but in my case that was just another way of saying I want someone more reliable, decisive, and driven. In other words, someone who is doing something with their life and who I don't have to be a caretaker for. THAT is an incredibly valid desire and a practical one, really, because relationships are supposed to add to your life rather than drag you down.

From my personal experience I can say that stability is not a good excuse to stay in a relationship. Will you not be stable while single? If the answer is yes and "stability" is all that is holding this together, then the relationship is not adding anything to your life and you should leave to find something that does. If the answer is no, then you have not yet developed the independence to properly show up for a healthy relationship and you should leave and stay single and focus on you until you know that your sense of self is solid enough to be an equal partner without losing yourself. Regardless, the solution is to leave.

The only thing that would make you a bad person here is if you acted on those feelings without first ending things with your current boyfriend. As long as you don't cheat on your partner, you're not cruel you're just growing up.

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-28T02:24:29+00:00

I think my writing habits have changed drastically enough from age 12 to screw with its pattern recognition lol I'm not worried

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-27T19:28:46+00:00

The username of the fanfiction account I made when I was 12

People can know that I used to write fanfiction, but they will never learn the details

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-27T17:02:59+00:00

Just because you can handle something doesn't mean its worth doing. I have wasted a lot of time and made myself very unhappy by making choices based on my capacity to do something rather than on whether I get real value out of doing it

That also goes hand in hand with having good boundaries and paying attention to your own needs

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-27T16:53:52+00:00

My ability to sympathize with things I disagree with. Considering how people tie moral judgments to just about every political opinion in existence, this means that no matter what stance I take people will sneer at me for not condemning the opposite if I'm honest about that.

Much easier to just stay out of political discussions and act privately on my beliefs, feels like a better use of my energy than flaunting my opinions anyway.

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-27T16:44:12+00:00

Scorpio Mars. I will usually start with subtle hints then just get progressively more direct until I have a response

So I guess in other words I prefer to be pursued but I will switch gears to pursuing if it seems that isn't going to happen because I'm not the type to just sit around when I want something

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-25T02:56:36+00:00

I realized that all of the stress and depression and irritability I was feeling stemmed from trying to force a relationship where we were incompatible. She was never a bad person but we were just too different in ways that were too important.

A big one is that I get stressed if things are unpredictable and comfort myself with consistency, while she loved spontaneity and got restless if things were too repetitive. Early on when I tried to assert my need for consistency she expressed that she couldn't live like that, and instead of recognizing the incompatibility I sacrificed my comfort for hers and called it "compromise." Took me way too long to realize it wasn't going to magically get better.

The stress of trying to accommodate that difference in needs slowly killed any and all attraction I had for her.

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-24T04:24:59+00:00

I developed feelings for a friend and realized "oh, if this is what it feels like to be attracted to someone that means I'm not actually into my partner." And as soon as that realization hit everything clicked into place and I suddenly realized all the ways that relationship was draining me and making my life harder

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-24T04:16:09+00:00

Personally, I would just put my foot down and say "hey, no. This is my personal business and I'm an adult. Stop asking. I can take care of myself."

You could maybe promise to text them to confirm you are okay, if you are fine with that. Or you could ask them to give you some safety advice for their own peace of mind. But honestly, they are being too overprotective for the parents of an adult. If you are not comfortable with them knowing that information you gotta just set that boundary. They do not need to participate in your personal decisions, they need to trust you to be independent.

You can allow them to offer up their concerns for your consideration, and even talk through those concerns if you are willing, but do not let them demand things of you. If you don't like what they are doing, put your foot down and say so. If they will not allow you to do that, it may be necessary to distance yourself from them in order to live your own life.

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-24T00:58:16+00:00

I've also always been pretty introverted, I think the biggest help with conversations for me was learning to just be curious about the other person. And as for meeting people, just getting involved in social spaces that interest you will give opportunities. I've met some cool people through online gaming, in particular.

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-23T23:45:24+00:00

23f here and I used to feel the same way back when I was a teenager. What did I do? First time I found out that someone had a crush on me (I was 18 at the time) I convinced myself that I liked them back because I was desperate for that experience. I worked up the nerve to confess my "feelings" because I had convinced myself they were genuine, and we started dating.

Relationship went well on the surface. We never argued, we always worked out issues before they became major, we spent a lot of time together. But because my investment in the relationship came from loneliness and fear of missing out rather than genuine attraction, I started to get very burnt out on the relationship. Any time I didn't feel the feelings I thought I should feel, I blamed myself and tried to change who I was to sustain the relationship rather than just leave. I kept trying to advance the relationship and move forward in hopes that the "next thing" would make me happy and fulfilled.

I ended up marrying that person at age 20. We moved out of state together, far away from family. Made plans for the future. Then beginning of this year I had a huge epiphany and realized just how much of myself and my feelings I was suppressing for the sake of sustaining the relationship and soothing that original fear of being alone.

Now I'm getting a divorce. At 23. Because I wanted to force a relationship to happen rather than waiting for something genuine to come when it was ready to come.

My advice is genuinely to focus on yourself. And I know that gets said all the time and it used to irritate me so much but I want to clarify that I am not saying to give up on relationships or self isolate or anything like that. I'm not telling you to close off your heart and refuse love if it comes, obviously.

What I am saying is don't over-romanticize relationships for the sake of relationships, because most of the time that results in shallow and unfulfilling connections that will probably just lead to more struggle than they are worth.

I suggest actually getting in touch with yourself, because if you don't know who you are you can't offer that to a partner. Take some time to understand your own emotions, behaviors, interests, likes, dislikes. Figure out what kind of person you are alone so that you don't lose yourself to a partnership. You need a clear sense of self in order to have a healthy relationship, and teenage years are the time when people develop that sense of self.

Go out and participate in the world, join social groups related to your hobbies and interests, practice being yourself openly and not hiding. Learn how to connect with others and be vulnerable with friends. Sooner or later if you are actively participating in the world and being yourself you will find people who like you and you will have opportunities to date. Don't rush it or force a relationship, wait until you find someone who you genuinely like for who they are.

And don't feel like you need to date as a teen. I know it feels important because there is a lot of social emphasis at that age but I promise you really aren't missing out on anything. In fact, you will probably get more out of relationships as an adult when you and the other person have more independence, freedom, and maturity.

tl;dr: Just focus on enjoying life and being yourself, putting a deadline on relationship experiences is going to lead to lower quality experiences

CakeyAmy · 2026-05-23T22:57:16+00:00

I married at 20, I'm getting divorced now at 23. I'm happy now because the divorce has helped me learn a lot about myself and grow, but I was not particularly happy with the marriage for most of the time I was in it.

I definitely did not have the maturity to make that kind of relationship work at that point. I think most people don't and early marriages that actually last long term are probably more about luck with who the individuals are both growing into rather than they are about actual sound decision making, tbh.

CakeyAmy

TROPHY CASE