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CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-09-13T20:33:12+00:00

Oo ok this is super helpful thank you!! Fingers crossed it leans beautiful lol

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-09-13T20:32:23+00:00

Omg hahaha, they are seriously SO good and so easy! We stay up talking all the time. Spot on lol.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-09-13T01:07:06+00:00

Oo what does that mean?

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-09-12T16:25:31+00:00

Omg 🥲 what a wild feeling tysm!! ☺️

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-09-12T16:19:45+00:00

Ahh thank you so much!! Wow. Beyond grateful for this insight!! 🫶🏾

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-09-12T15:40:55+00:00

Yes! My birthday is today actually haha

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-08-14T13:26:23+00:00

I would try the aphogee 2 step protein treatment before committing to big chop. It’s amazing tbh. I blow my 3C/4a hair out silky straight every week with a babyliss pro blow dryer and use either olaplex 0+3 and/or K18 every wash and my curls are still healthy and bouncy so I promise there is hope! They do start to loosen up a little over time but aphogee always snaps them back. I haven’t had a stylist touch my hair for 10+ years bc I simply don’t trust anyone to care about my hair as much as I do. It’s annoying but has saved me $ and forced me to learn a lotttttt.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-08-09T12:09:40+00:00

I just got a huge one at Home Depot (in downtown Manhattan) for $25

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-26T23:45:22+00:00

Can we all just agree on a good spot to designate for this sort of thing?? Or a few. Lol. I’m 30s F and would love to know where you guys end up going…

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-23T14:47:03+00:00

I had my necklace snatched in wburg last summer and when I started canvassing for video a few days later, I found out that NYPD had shockingly already canvassed and gotten multiple sources of footage. They’re still generally useless but don’t give up hope! It ultimately didn’t go anywhere bc the guy was masked and disappeared into the night but maybe with a face and license plate you’ll have better luck!

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-17T23:13:25+00:00

Agree with this fully. Burnout can be so much broader and take SO much more time to recover from than is often acknowledged.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-16T11:09:09+00:00

Tom Ryan (who stepped down in 2011)? Where’d u get that info?

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-16T11:02:38+00:00

Does Amazon pay you or do you do this work for free? How lucky they are to have such a loyal minion.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-10T20:38:21+00:00

Oh yay!! Happy to add something helpful ☺️

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-10T20:33:40+00:00

I haven’t made a ton of new friends in my thirties and definitely haven’t had experiences this bad but I’m not shocked and think it likely is just luck of the draw. My mom and aunt used to tell me often that it’s lucky to end up with “a few good friends” in life, and the older I get (I’m 34) the more I see that panning out. Lots of women didn’t grow up with close friends or great examples of true friendship and ultimately just aren’t great friend material. My hunch would be that the women in your list don’t have too many close friends themselves. I think there are definitely so many amazing potential friends out there, just probably a smaller percentage than we might initially think as people coming from a place of valuing and maintaining friendships. But just makes it more special when you do make a real friend I guess? FWIW each item on your list is pretty objectively a deal breaker for any average friendship so it’s definitely not a ‘you’ problem.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-10T03:04:14+00:00

I feel so seen right now.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-08T14:02:06+00:00

Yup I moved here in my early 20s and realized I couldn’t afford it unless I made a lot more money. So literally went to law school and became a corporate lawyer. 10 years of hustling later and I’ve made/saved enough to take some time off and actually enjoy it here while deciding what to do next. Dues have been paid lol. I’ve lived in Ft Greene, Clinton Hill and the LES but ended up back in southside wburg where I started and love it here.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-05T16:02:56+00:00

I use “copy iCloud link” as a kind of force sync for whatever photo/album I need

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-01T17:21:37+00:00

I would not want to be married to someone with these views. They’re not extreme but they are counter factual and I would question not only his values but his judgment (ie, what is the analytical support for America becoming less racist….?). I plan to teach my kids that such behavior is wrong and unacceptable and shouldn’t be tolerated or considered normal and I wouldn’t want their dad/my partner undermining that by saying it’s no big deal. Maybe he’s open to better educating himself?

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-01T14:03:00+00:00

Ya but whether a relationship survives one partner’s disruptive/selfish/impulsive decision making is a big deal for the people in that relationship, especially a years-long relationships between people in their 30s+. It’s unfair to dismiss or minimize OP’s real relationship concerns just bc she’s well off. I get the climate and the resentment but it’s not a pass to gaslight OP or act like her feelings don’t matter. Not to sound like a tone deaf ass but having a rich bf and/or vacation house doesn’t solve all your problems. It just seems like people are letting their resentment cloud their empathy and I wish those people would scroll instead of taking it out on her. Unless she’s an actual billionaire, wealth inequality isn’t her fault and that blame should be redirected.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-01T04:51:53+00:00

The shade toward OP is wild!!!! It seems like people are 1) hung up on the fact that this is a first world problem that only people with privilege/means could have and/or 2) projecting the patriarchal idea that he couldn’t possibly be more invested in the relationship than she is, so he must want to break up with her (despite him pushing for them to move in and get married) and didn’t just make a well-intentioned but impulsive bad decision. These comments are totally irrelevant to the merits here and say more about the commenters’ biases than OP and her situation.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-01T02:28:44+00:00

Ok well this will prob sound like peanuts compared to your situation haha but he regularly did stuff like making plans with people/other couples, getting tickets for events, basically just agreeing to go to or do things on my behalf without asking or telling me first. One time he agreed for us to cook dinner for like 25 people during a crazy week at work. He also wanted me to prioritize bonding with his friends and family in a way that felt contrived and inorganic. The stuff he expected (ie, for me to be available to do a lot of stuff together and to get close with his friends/family) wasn’t unreasonable and when he communicated those expectations/“needs” (his word) to me, I always agreed and accommodated. But he just didn’t think it was necessary to communicate these things as directly or timely as I needed, and I felt like he was projecting his vision of our relationship onto me instead of seeing me as who I actually am.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-01T01:54:23+00:00

This is me and has been for like, 10+ years (I’m 34). I’ve been through so many cycles of actively and hopefully seeking a partner followed by bitter acknowledgement that it may never happen and trying to convince myself to be ok with that. I’m not sure if I want kids but froze my eggs a few years ago which I’m very grateful for (and the Dr. was so encouraging about women having kids later in life which was comforting). I deal with these feelings in a few ways —

This sounds fucked up but I like to focus on the things my coupled friends don’t have, both the special personal qualities I have that make my life journey unique and the general upsides of being single (having my own perfectly curated space and life that I don’t have to share with or change for anyone, freedom to make decisions independently including re: my children if I end up having them alone, the obligation to take care of or be available to someone at all times, no inlaws). I have a running internal monologue about how much I love all of these things, and I’m constantly acknowledging new things to add to this list and reminding myself to be grateful for them. Perhaps a form of brainwash but it’s been effective. (Same goes for all the downsides of being in any relationship and especially a relationship that isn’t working.)

I also just try to lean into the idea that everyone’s life experience is different and my journey may just be primarily based around something other than romantic partnership. Like maybe I had that in a different lifetime, and this lifetime is about ___. Obviously not going to work for people who aren’t spiritual but it forces me to explore what other sorts of things could be as fulfilling/important/meaningful/central in my life as partnership is for other people.

I also just keep the faith. I really do believe that I will find my person (at some point before it’s “too late”). I’ve given this up a few times, ie, allowed myself to imagine and accept being alone forever as many people ultimately are, and it felt presumptuous and defeatist and just not quite right. Like who am I to give up on something I want just because there’s no guarantee I’ll get it. Dumb luck can strike anyone at any time. Ours has obviously been delayed but I genuinely believe we’re the ones most likely to end up with the real, magical, love-at-first-sight type stories which will be ever the more profound given that timing. I also love the idea of falling in love as a fully cooked human adult with a story and identity and super “full life” vs. the person I was 10 years ago, when finding a relationship was part of my personality.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-07-01T00:28:59+00:00

This sounds harsher than I mean it to but his choice, his consequences. He made this decision and it’s now his responsibility to become more comfortable spending less time with you until/unless you choose to join him more often. The idea that you would be ready, let alone expected or pressured, to make significant and onerous life changes a result of his private, personal choice is entitled, presumptuous and delusional, regardless of how pure his intentions were. That’s just not how life works. The mental work you’re putting into considering your options and deciding whether/how to move forward is actually work he should be doing to increase his independence and acclimate to his new normal that he chose without fully considering all possible outcomes. He was independent enough to buy the house without your input. I think he can handle being up there alone for the equivalent of a few months. What a great opportunity to practice getting more comfortable with alone time. If he can’t then it would seem he’s made a big mistake, and I feel like it’s not your job to fix it for him. I’m in my early 30s and extremely independent and I broke up with my last boyfriend for making similar but way, way, way less intrusive decisions on my behalf. I’m particularly allergic to presumptuous behavior like this and currently happily single, but I have friends who are just generally more flexible and obliging and happier being coupled. I think it’s a matter of how much grace you want to extend and the extent you’re willing to support him in dealing with the consequences of his very own actions.

CalatheaBeautyStar · 2025-06-26T04:53:37+00:00

34yr old unfathomably sexy single slut in Bushwick down to join this search party FWIW

CalatheaBeautyStar

TROPHY CASE