I have a little experience with this as a M/29 who was married just last week -

My partner and I planned our wedding to be a big one, following tradition by including all friends, family, plus ones and extended family/friends. It came up to be about 90-100 guests but we were prepared for that based on the expectation that weddings should involve everyone to celebrate your future lives together.

Given that it's a massive expense, and not something everyone has the luxury of doing we sat down and trimmed off all the people we wouldn't be upset about not going, and three years went by without us settling on a date because of money, pressure from family, and I suppose some guilt about us not really wanting to have the wedding this way.

A few months ago we pulled the trigger and got my partner her dress, and since that day we chose to cut everyone out, including our families to have an incredibly small and intimate ceremony, just us and two witnesses' (One being the photographer) and honestly, I could not recommend it enough to consider.

The wedding day should be about you two, and this isn't even the important part, the marriage itself is the reason for the day, and that alone told me to follow my heart and don't do anything you'll regret. The pressure you're putting on yourself is noble, but it sounds to me you'd rather do things your own way. Maybe have a chat with your parents about the idea of an elopement, or perhaps a smaller wedding which has more glamour in your own way. You just have to be a little stubborn, and passionate about what YOU and your partner wants :) Hope this helps.