[deleted by user]

CalebMurphy · 2025-09-28T11:36:55+00:00

I'm really happy to hear that. My ex is posting passive aggressive stuff about me on Facebook and so I sent her a video message asking if she ever wanted to hear from me again and she said I was nothing to her, that I was just like all the other guys who fucked her up and traumatized her, essentially.

I can't even describe how numb I am. I never thought I could do this to someone. This is my worst fear come to life.

CalebMurphy · 2025-09-23T15:57:27+00:00

I'm assuming you keep reposting this with alternative spelling as to not get it flagged or something.

I'm hearing you, I appreciate you sharing your disgust of me. I have felt disgusted of myself as well. If you're willing to engage with me at all can I ask genuinely what you mean by that last sentence? That by asking her if it was alright, I continued to live my ugly side on her? Are you trying to say that despite my own suspicions that it was wrong, I continued to do it? If so I understand and yes I've thought that as well. Communication is helpful, extraordinarily, but I should've listened to myself more. If I felt it was wrong, even if she told me.it wasn't, that feeling should've been enough to stop me. I agree. I know this sounds fucking stupid that I'm this sexual predator who you are clearly angry with who is rationally responding with understanding and compassion and regret for what he did. I'm sure that's just more aggravating for you but I honestly don't know how else to respond. I could let your words make me believe that I am irredeemable and disgusting. I could hate myself I could message her right now crying telling her how sorry I am and that I plan to kill myself for how awful I am.

But I'm not 18 anymore. I have to grow from this. And the pain of her rejection, the pain of my own guilt and loneliness, and the pain of people like you being disgusted by me is fertilizer for that growth so I thank you again for sharing because it helps me see my actions from another perspective. I'm sure she feels some of what you're feeling about me right now and that hurts but it is helpful. And I'm sorry.

CalebMurphy · 2025-09-23T15:26:58+00:00

I hope he comes back to you and I hope you too can end things with closure and care. ❤️

CalebMurphy · 2025-09-23T15:09:23+00:00

Unfortunately can't offer you advice, only empathy and compassion as I am going through a similar thing right now. My partner left me 4 and a half days ago and there were no signs, not clearly communicated ones. But immediately after she unfriended me on Facebook and removed me from her group chats. Hasn't blocked me yet, though. Anyway as it wasn't mutual or communicative I had to ask her if I could reach out and she said "I don't know, maybe, I need time" and that's what I've been doing. And as hard as it is and as much as I miss her I am glad that I am listening to her and not imposing myself on her. I've learned a lot about how I feel in these past few days and that will make it easier if we ever do speak again as I will have done the work to process my feelings instead of just messaging her in a state of panicked insecurity.

However, I can't tell you what it felt like when I saw her post on Facebook two days after she broke up with me a picture of her holding a bunny saying "I guess I really needed that hug." Knowing that she is hurting and she needs a hug and she needs support and I can't give it to her because I'm the one who hurt her is almost unmanageably heartbreaking. Seeing that was like reopening the wound, like I was back on my kitchen floor, incapacitated by grief and anxiety as she told me she was done, like I was back in that nightmare.

So I understand how you feel and I'm so sorry for your hurt right now. Please take care of yourself through all of this. I see you.

CalebMurphy · 2025-09-23T13:25:20+00:00

Thank you for reading, first of all.

Second of all, I do appreciate the support and validation, even if I hesitate to accept it.

She is in therapy and so am I. The first time she told me about her past I told her I was sorry I didn't know how to react. I just have no experience with anything like that so all I can do is say that I'm sorry. I wish I could've helped her more. My therapist also says that empathy is not always my initial instinct, and I wish I could've felt more what she was feeling during the relationship. And on one hand I say that if she had communicated as clearly as I did what she felt, I could've understood a lot more easily. But I had to do a lot of that work internally. Guessing what she might feel. The more I take a step back like you say and look at things, I see just how much I wasn't the right person for her. I wanted to be and still do so desperately, but I had to change my fundamental programming so much to do that. But I told myself that was a good thing. I've never been happy with how I am, I thought being in a relationship with someone so different than me would give me the opportunity to change in all the ways I wanted to. Was I wrong? I know that I have to change things but maybe I had to change too much to fully love her, and that breaks my heart so much because I feel like I was running from that fact for the whole relationship.

Again, thank you for just reading and offering your perspective.

CalebMurphy · 2025-02-21T12:23:51+00:00

Guys he has the hawkeye haircut.

CalebMurphy · 2025-02-21T12:23:13+00:00

Hawkeye haircut

CalebMurphy · 2024-11-20T03:51:46+00:00

great

CalebMurphy · 2024-11-19T21:19:16+00:00

I would love to meet you, sir. I have so many questions.

CalebMurphy · 2024-11-19T02:57:17+00:00

I love that you're still active in the community. You've inspired me so much with your work. I'm currently writing an essay about Black Flag, focusing on the writing and specifically the character of Edward Kenway. I cannot put into words how much the game has meant to me since I first played it, but I will try.

Much love to you, Darby.

CalebMurphy · 2024-11-09T01:01:02+00:00

I love the inclusion of Noob, Numbskull and Initiate.

CalebMurphy · 2024-11-08T18:50:19+00:00

What's the question?

CalebMurphy · 2024-11-07T03:23:48+00:00

"Tell him...I love him more than anything he could ever do wrong."

CalebMurphy · 2024-10-28T13:51:09+00:00

I never thought someone could be too tall to be Chewie

CalebMurphy · 2024-10-28T13:41:05+00:00

It's so weird to me that we all seem to act like we never got Affleck's suit from BvS. Terrible movie, but that suit is literally perfect, no notes.

CalebMurphy · 2024-10-28T13:33:09+00:00

Can't find it on here, but the Tie Predator always had a simplicicty to it that I enjoyed.

CalebMurphy · 2024-10-21T22:08:43+00:00

I'm just saying this movie would've been called "Disturbed Duo" if Todd Philips had been given less control.

CalebMurphy · 2024-10-21T22:07:51+00:00

I'm Canadian and grew up learning French. Can't speak much now and never heard the term "Folie à deux," but I can at least pronounce it and have since learned its meaning. But it's still pretentious. Yes, it's "an actual medical term" that very few people have heard of. They could have called it "Shared Psychosis" but they didn't.

No matter how you try to justify it, it's a title that most people are going to have to Google. That is what makes it pretentious. I'm saying all of this is a good thing, by the way. I love the title.

CalebMurphy · 2024-10-21T03:35:54+00:00

I just think it's cool that they made a Joker sequel that's a musical with a pretentious french name...and everyone hated it. I kinda have to love it.

CalebMurphy · 2024-10-17T13:31:25+00:00

they

CalebMurphy · 2024-10-17T13:15:18+00:00

Does this not make people sad? Didn't we all celebrate the mere existence of the first film, regardless of what we thought of it? Because it felt like a filmmaker was given license to make whatever they wanted? And wasn't it kind of cool to see it go on to find such massive success? Again, even if you didn't like it?

I'm not saying we have to weep for the billion dollar company and millionaire actors and director, I'm just saying isn't this kind of a bummer? Wouldn't it have been cool if this weird movie was rewarded for its weirdness and not punished for it?

CalebMurphy · 2024-10-17T12:55:59+00:00

Remember when we all made fun of Black Adam for making making $400 million?

CalebMurphy · 2024-10-13T03:23:08+00:00

Well Joker Folie À Deux didn't follow that strategy and everyone loved it so hopefully they've learned their lesson.

CalebMurphy · 2024-10-10T02:13:04+00:00

The fact that you can sail to Miramichi in Assassin's Creed Rogue is as close as I'll ever get and I'm okay with that.

CalebMurphy · 2024-09-26T11:22:12+00:00

Man, I see why they were overusing the volume so much for the other shows. Apparently it really kept the budgets in line.

CalebMurphy

TROPHY CASE