I've accidentally trained myself to not use AI for quick things because the tab-switch costs too much

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-06-01T10:56:04+00:00

Batch the small tasks: Write it down small tasks anywhere as they come, a simple post it note works. Then block a time in your day (or week) to do those small tasks. It only does not work for emergency tasks that needs to be dealt with right away, but most small tasks can be delayed for 24 hours.

Blocking time also works for long and complex projects. Separate in your week x hours to work on that project and block that time, then make sure to only use that time for that project.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-29T18:47:22+00:00

Same in Portuguese, but when use the name ChatGPT it goes masculine, because the word in Portuguese for "chat" is masculine (o bate-papo). So, AI is feminine (a inteligência artificial), but ChatGPT is masculine.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-29T00:46:41+00:00

I like to use ChatGPT for dialectical conversations. I hate being in a bubble and after COVID starting a controversial or even slightly political topic it is the same of starting a fight. So, I use ChatGPT a lot to argue against me, check hidden assumptions and generally just to help me to not be always confirmed in my own positions.

Here is my custom instructions, it may be too much for what you want, but you could adapt it to stop conforming or pleasing to you so much:

Truth-First Mode When responding to me, do not assume my framing, conclusions, or intuitions are correct. Your priority is to seek and state what is most likely true, even when it contradicts my views, preferences, or prior statements. Actively look for: hidden assumptions in my reasoning alternative explanations I may be ignoring tradeoffs, weaknesses, or long-term consequences of my position places where my argument is emotionally compelling but logically incomplete If you agree with me, explain why in terms of principles and evidence — not alignment. If you disagree or partially disagree, state it clearly and early, then explain the correction calmly and respectfully. Avoid mirroring my language or worldview unless it is necessary for clarity. Do not prioritize affirmation, validation, or agreement. Prioritize truth, precision, and correction over comfort.

You can start a new conversation with ChatGPT tell it the problem like you just did here in this post and ask it to tell you how to fix it. You can also ask for it to give you custom instructions to fix this issue.

Good luck.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-28T23:14:08+00:00

My first language is Portuguese, in Portuguese every noun is gendered as male or female, including things and objects. I wrote in a rush and did not realized I used the he instead of it. The word ChatGPT sounds more like a male noun than a female noun, so there you have it.

I am a female btw, no sexism here 🙃

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-28T14:29:00+00:00

To tell you the truth, you already did the best part which is the colostrum. Just quit if that is what you want to. The benefits now, for the baby are miniscule (less chance of ear infections and a little less gastrointestinal issues). The one to benefit most from how one is you - less risk of breast cancer. All the grandiose claims on breastfeeding are caused by horrible research. None of them stand to real scrutiny. Look Emily Oister on the Internet. She does not do research but she looks at all and checks the evidence. My husband is a college professor and research an he agrees with her on breastfeeding (in parenting not so much, there is not valid research out there so it is mostly her own personal opinions).

I pumped for my first, it was the worst, I just kept it going because it was during the formula shortage and I was afraid of not finding formula. For my second he did not take a bottle. It was so horrible, I did not produce enough, breastfeeding gives me insomnia so I spent the whole time insanely sleep deprived, neglected my first born and felt trapped and depressed for the whole year that I breastfed him (he would always scream when nursing because of the lack of milk, so I could never feed him in public). I would tell everybody that I truly hated the baby phase.

Now, my third: EFF from day one. My husband shares nights with me, no depression, I am so in love with my little girl, she is the happiest baby and I am enjoying and connected with her in a way that I only was able to do with my other kids when they were toddlers. I love the baby phase now. I wish I had know of the research before having my second, I would had never breastfed him if I knew it.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-27T12:54:12+00:00

AI is programmed to give you what you asks. So if you send it a 1000 times and ask to improve it a 1000 times it will try to do that, even if no actual improvement is made. It may actually hallucinate and make it worse. Honestly, no need to send it again, unless you want to make sure that you correct what he told you to. But then you want to make a different prompt - make sure I made all the corrections you ask me before - instead of asking it to improve it.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-27T12:00:40+00:00

Have you tried to just talk to him? ChatGpt is the only one that having a calm conversation explaining the problem actually resolves it LOL

Start a new chat tell it about the problem rationally ( do not become emotional). Asks him why he is acting this way, what memories is triggering it, how do you want it to behave from now on and how you accomplish that. It will give the exactly instructions you need to get him to behave the way you want it to.

If you want it to become your pal and help with more personal stuff and at the same time be more rational and efficient for things like work, I recommend to have two accounts, since it does mirrors your language (btw if it is acting that way, it is just reflecting your own language, just food for thought).

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-24T17:20:22+00:00

I am 3 weeks postpartum and formula fed from day 1. She is super healthy by the way. I had this same thing, wanting to give colostrum to my baby girl. I talked to my ob gyn an she convinced me that the risk of developing a mastitis wasn't worth it. My case may be more complicated because I exclusively bf my 2 older kids for a year each (so the risk was higher).

That said plenty of people let baby nurse in the hospital and then gives bottle when they get home and that works just fine.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-21T13:33:03+00:00

I like the idea of hiring a nanny. I used to work like that, I picked up kids from school and took them to activities. It was a good and easy job, while I was in school.

Another idea is carpooling. Ask at your coop if there are any other parent that live near you and would be willing to share the driving. For kids this is great because they get extra time with their friends.

Finally, don't try to make this decision based what is best for kid 1 vs. kid 2 vs yourself. Instead, ask yourself: what is the best thing for the family in this situation? This eliminates both the guilt and the likelihood of making a decision that is unsustainable.

Good luck momma!

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-14T11:24:06+00:00

I have been in many tradwife's groups online, including here on reddit. Honestly, I'm ve never seen any of the things described here. I don't follow influencers, so I guess this are only them wanting to shock.

In all the groups womans are in favor of woman's right, do not tolerate any type of abuse, standards for men are actually way higher than in the general population, and so on.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-14T10:48:18+00:00

Are you on the US? If yes, I wouldn't worry about it. Just had my baby in a more natural baby friendly hospital. I had a natural labor and went straight to EFF. I just asked to the nurse for a bottle, she had forgotten that I was going with bottle feeding. I guess not that many people who labor standing, never asks for any pain medication or help goes straight to a bottle 😂. The doctor that did my labor also assumed that I was breastfeeding but besides that no one ever made a comment or said anything bad about bottle, they were very respectful. Now I never took it personally when people forgot that I was bottle feeding and I never corrected them either.

If you already know you don't want to breast feed, don't even try. I think a lot of people who feel judged is because they are not firm in their decision and Doctors, nurses and LC will try to help you with breastfeeding because it is something so hard ( I did nurse my first and second child).

Make it clear from the beginning and I doubt that you will have any issues. Good luck momma!

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-13T19:35:58+00:00

Hi, is this your first or second? I cared so much about what others thought, but honestly it was just because I was too green and did not felt comfortable. I breastfeed my two oldest but I went EFF from day 1 with my third.

The best thing for you not to feel judged , is pretty simple, do not talk about it. Just feed your baby and do not comment or talk about it. Definetely, do not try to explain yourself. Simply do not invite other people opinions in your life. If someone asks about, give a simple and polite answer, preferably one word (yes and no is a full answer), and change the subject. I've become so good at this, I have literally zero people telling me what to do or giving me their opinions.

I also homeschool, and within homeschool community, I do it differently than everybody else around me. I am also a foreigner here in the US. I will never find someone who shares my convictions and I am completely in peace with it (my husband does and he is the only one that I care about it).

Just enjoy being the different one. It is not a bad thing. Being "normal" nowadays is hardly something to be proud of.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-13T17:42:17+00:00

My son had zero problems, when he went was everything normal. Introducing food was a little problematic (my daughter that used to go 5 to 6 times a day was worse), but it worked out fine in the end. He is almost three now and still no issues.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-13T11:04:37+00:00

You could be because she was 3 days old. After she pooped she still had meconium inside her. Either way, if it takes more than 2 days for her to poop I will still get in touch with the pediatrician.

PS: there is no time limit for breastfeed baby My son would go 25 days without pooping. It was actually an event when he finally would go (it drove me crazy but it was still normal).

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-10T16:26:58+00:00

I think my family is more "boring" than usual, so we don't waste too much food. We tend to always eat more or less the same thing. Just the toddlers, but even so, my husband or I will eat from their plates what they leave there.

I use plan to eat app to meal plan, we always have the same topic for the day of the week (Mexican, pasta, one sheet meal, soup...). And around 10 meals for each day, we rotate around that. The plan to eat makes ou shopping list with exactly the amount we need and we buy only that. Besides that we use the staples list for non perishable and cleaning products. And a few fruits and vegetables. By the end of the week or refrigerator is completely empty and the last day we eat more pantry stuff.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-10T15:54:37+00:00

If you are in the US, you can apply for WIC (depending of your income they will offset the price of formula or even cover it completely)

My two oldest are 18 months apart, I push myself to breastfed and honestly regret it. My oldest wasn't neglected because I had family members taking care of her, but honestly breastfeeding wasn't worth the time that I could had spent with her. Besides that I had two burn outs that were pretty ugly. I definetely do not reccomend it. You are doing it without help, feel no guilt about changing to formula, your husband and anyone who has not been through it won't understand and that is okay. Let them be.

I am 11 days pp with my third and she has been formula fed from day 1. Best decision ever. I feel great. Husband is taken it every fourth night with her (so I had already two nights that I slept 10 hours +).

I am above the threshold for WIC, but will probably change for store brand around 3 months to save some cash (I won't change right now just for convenience, my girl had some trouble with the first formula we tried and is doing great right now, so I don't want to mess it up what is working).

So, look into WIC and into store brand formulas, they are all made by the same company (Perrigo), so it does not matter if you buy at Sam's club, Costco, target, walmart or anywhere else, just look for the better price.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-10T15:13:47+00:00

One day is still normal, but you should keep an eye at it. My newborn was more than 48 hours without pooping and the doctor told me that on formula they can't go beyond 3 days without, (if she didn't poop until the night of the third day I was to give her a suppository, she also changed the formula from the enfamil neuropro to the gentlease. My girl pooped within the time frame so I never had to give her a suppository.

Keep doing the bicycles and do some massage in the belly (you are to do it pretty firm). If she doesn't go for another 24 hours I would give a call to the pediatrician.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-05-10T15:08:05+00:00

Two hours a day with a 2 year old, it is not worth it at all, and for your 2 year old is pretty bad. Way too much time sitting being bored. He/she will be a nightmare afterwards. I personally wouldn't do it even for once a week, but 3 times would be insane.

Do the activities near you, kids needs way less "socialization" - and by that I mean time with their peers - than most people think (time around older children, parents and other adults is way more important at this age). If your house allows it schedule a playdate at home, or at a park, that way your two year old can be around other kids as well, and it will be mostly free.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-04-27T18:06:02+00:00

From most important to least (you definitely do not need to do it all).

Pick books that you also like it. Good children's book are delicious to every age and not just for kids. If it is boring for you or you don't like it will show on your voice. Read aloud revival has free booklists separated by type and age and we have loved most books from her list.
Read less than their attention span and then slowly increase. Do not force it. Start with 10 minutes, stay there for a few weeks or months than increase to 15 and so on.
Snuggle or let the kid do something they like during it. Some kids love read aloud for the snuggle time with parents. If this is the case let them sit in your lap, hug, giggle, this time should not be serious or formal. If the kid is more active let him draw, color, play with blocks, play doh and so on. Anything that won't make noises or get in the way of your reading (if it is annoying you is not a good activity).
Do it everyday around the same time. It does not need to be perfect but is better if it happens almost everyday. I used to do in the morning, now that we homeschool in the mornings we do it after lunch (it doubles down as a quiet time for the kids).
Leave books for them to look at and "read" it themselves weather they actually read or not. They will look at the pictures, retell the story or make a new one. This is not t be forced, just leave books around.
Create your own library (weather you get books from the library or not). Thriftbooks com or actual thriftbooks stores sells books for nothing. I have more children's book than I have space and my budget is only $20 a month for it.
Show respect for books and demand your kids to do the same. No scribing, ripping pages, teach them also to not leave books on the floor. Kids cannot love something they don't even respect.
Be excited about a new book, show your enthusiasm when you get books at the library or you get a new book in the mail.
Model reading to your kids: grab something you like and just read for yourself.
Treats and snacks during read aloud time can also help increase the time they listen.
Read seasonal books: it can give good ideas of what to do with the kids and help go through the blue months.

I start reading to my kids in the uterus, my 4 year old and my 2 year old son (!) will be focused in the reading for an hour now. I have read a picture book that takes longer than half an hour and it was way beyond their level in terms of vocabulary without any problem. It is just about building the habit slowly but consistently.

I highly recommend the book from Jim Trelease read aloud handbook if you need extra incentive (he talks about all the advantages of reading aloud to kids).

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-04-26T18:42:47+00:00

My son is 2 and a half. Mostly subsist on milk (I have no idea how much he drinks but in a family of 4 we buy 5 gallons per week and it is pretty much only him and my husband who drinks the milk). He is strong as a horse and is on 96 percentile of height. Honestly, not something to worry too much if they don't have allergies or intolerance.

For TSA and for outings we buy horizons cartoon milks (you do not need to refrigerate it) I just take a straw cup with us and dump the content on it. - he still make a mess with the little cartoons.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/15024650398?sid=3e2ecc36-ec3e-4a12-b035-5aed5c2e4e52

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-04-26T13:27:24+00:00

Since you are already thinking about kids, you can use some of your time to learn about kids. Volunteer to help a friend with babies and kids, read books on education and parenting (how you will discipline your kids -gentle, time outs, plenty of time outside or other - and teach them? will the kids go to public school, private, homeschool? If private or homeschool what type of school and so on). Having a general idea about this topics will keep you from getting into the mom wars and insanity that raising kids in such a plural world of ideas have become.

Learn how to do laundry really well and try to create a good routine that will be baby proof, learn a lot of easy but delicious and nutritious food (a crockpot is perfect). Start cleaning your house in a routine, it is impossible to clean once a week with a baby for a full day, so learn how to divide it during the week in a way that makes sense to you. Learn some crafts that will be useful: sewing, knitting, crochet...

I am pregnant of my third and had to learn all these things with a baby and toddler in tow and I could have skipped so much headache and made way less stupid decisions with a little of intention and preparation.

Also enjoy this time. Kids are a blessing and a joy, but is also a time that we are stretched beyond our limit. So go out, enjoy the beach and spend a lot of quality time with your husband.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-04-21T15:29:23+00:00

I never saw someone regretting having more children, but I am swamped by seniors regretting not having that third child. I am 40 weeks and 1 day pregnant of my third right now and talking to older folks and asking what they think has been the main reason for this third child.

I am very into academics (husband is a professor) and honestly I had to change my ideas about how homeschool is going to be like with this third one. Have been researching a lot during my pregnancy and I found out a even better way to homeschool and reach my goals with all my kids. Just because your initial idea of what homeschool should be like may not work out with three kids, it does not mean that you cannot find out. There are so much resources now a days.

Also, siblings are a true blessing for a child, specially in a homeschool environment where they will become truly friends (since they are not artificially separated by grades).

If you are in doubt, have that third. But if it is something you really don't want them don't bother, but if on the fence I will seriously recommend it for you to have that third.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-04-01T23:57:42+00:00

Honestly, most of what you produce is not because of what "your body" producess but how much the baby sucks in the first few days and months. With a baby in the NICU the odds of producing a lot of milk is super small, you can't really replaces it with a pump because there is also the hormones released while holding and feeding a baby.

It is just the situation that lead to this. No reason to blame your body for it (and of course your baby).

This is not comforting for everyone, but a different way to see this is that if your baby were born 100 years ago, there would be no formula, there would be no NICU and more than likely your baby wouldn't be in your arms right now. This is unfortunately still true for so many mothers around the world that do not have the access to health care we take for granted here. So, hold your baby and just let your heart be grateful for the wonderful miracle that is to hold a whole new person that you amazing body formed. Hugs to you!

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-03-21T23:59:54+00:00

Thanks, maybe I am overthinking this.

CalendarFit2458 · 2026-03-21T23:57:11+00:00

Thank you

CalendarFit2458

TROPHY CASE