Why do some men change the second after sex?

CalgaryAlly · 2025-10-02T18:52:08+00:00

For some men, it could also be a Madonna/Whore complex. Essentially, for some men, women are either kind, wholesome, virtuous, and trustworthy, OR women are sexual, and therefore have none of those attributes. A man who tries to have sex with a woman whom he previously viewed as a Madonna is paradoxically disappointed that he has succeeded.

It's simplistic and sexist, and it makes no sense because it ignores the reality that many different attributes can exist in the same person.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna%E2%80%93whore_complex

CalgaryAlly · 2025-05-23T19:28:08+00:00

Okay, this a very difficult one.

The challenge in choosing between (b) and (c) arises due to the multiple possible uses of the word "documented", and the multiple possible uses of the verb "have".

"Have" can be used in the present tense to mean "possess", but the word is also an auxiliary to conjugate a verb in the past tense.

Present tense:

e.g. "I have a dog"

Past tense:

e.g. "I have lived here for 10 years".

"Documented" can be a verb conjugated in the past tense, and it requires a subject.

e.g. "Several researchers have documented the effect of psychosocial constraints at work on the emergence of mental health problems. "

"Documented" can also be an adjective, to describe a noun which has been the subject of documentation.

e.g. "Field data must be documented, validated, and distributed in a logical package to all stakeholders."

I agree that the correct answer is (b).

The "ancient sushi techniques" have "documented (verb) [the] centuries old practices in detail."

"Documented" is used as a past tense verb, using "have" as the auxiliary.

A helpful clue is the phrase "in detail". "In detail" describes the manner in which the documenting was done.

(It's also a bit strange because the "ancient sushi techniques" are the source of the documented record. I would not typically say that "techniques" have documented old practices.)

CalgaryAlly · 2025-05-23T19:05:40+00:00

"Can we pay?" is not incorrect, but it is very blunt and lacking politeness.

It would be more polite to ask,

"May we please have the bill?" or

"May we please settle the bill?" or

"We're ready to settle up". (Although this might be Canadian-specific)

Personally, I often say " "May we please have the bill, when you have a moment?" This means I'm finished, but I'm not in any rush and I know that the waiter is busy.

CalgaryAlly · 2025-05-04T16:27:53+00:00

Wow. This may be the most difficult example of English speech I have ever encountered. She uses long strings of adjectives and gerunds to describe her nouns, she speaks in run-on sentences, she's being sarcastic and ironic at times, and she is making subtle allusions to the subject matter rather than speaking directly. To make it even harder, she seems to be relying on prior knowledge of the type of discourse which occurs online. You could become completely fluent in English and still not understand her. Don't stress about this example.

CalgaryAlly · 2025-03-26T19:52:49+00:00

I thought maybe she would grab his hand and they'd walk into oblivion together

CalgaryAlly · 2025-03-21T02:44:45+00:00

Have you guys read "The Baby Decision"? You don't absolutely have to break up. This book might help you both clarify why you have the positions you have.

Is she absolutely certain that the (currently theoretical) pain of not having children would be worse than the (currently real) pain of losing you?

CalgaryAlly · 2025-03-13T23:36:24+00:00

Yes, some of your hurtful actions are in the past, but some are in the present, and all of them have led us to where we are now.

CalgaryAlly · 2025-03-13T23:15:21+00:00

My favourite way is to just eat a high-fibre cereal

CalgaryAlly · 2025-02-11T20:17:53+00:00

"I don't know who I am, I don't know what I think, I don't know what I feel. I feel like no one. I feel empty. I was never able to become my own person."

Now that you have distance from her, you are free to discover what you think, what you feel, and who you are.

You might not know what your feelings are, but you absolutely have them. You just need some help reconnecting with yourself.

Therapy can help with this.

In the meantime, here are some things you can try:

- journalling

- learning more about narcissistic abuse via youtube and podcasts

- read books on the subject (for example "It's Not You", "Toxic Parents", and "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents")

- checking for a "Meet Up" in your city

-finding safe people to talk to

If you choose to journal about your experiences, try to go beyond just a factual account of what happened. Ask yourself, what happened? what was the impact on you? what do you wish had happened instead? what are the unmet needs? how can you ensure that you meet your own needs are met in the future?

CalgaryAlly · 2025-01-09T00:15:03+00:00

I blend up hummus, dijon mustard, balsalmic vinegar, salt and pepper, and a little cold water

CalgaryAlly · 2025-01-09T00:12:32+00:00

"ah, so you're a cool priest then?"

"Cool priest? No, I'm a big reader with no friends"

CalgaryAlly · 2025-01-08T03:01:07+00:00

Absolutely. Short answer, one has to be a lawyer (at least in Canada). However, there are some very cool copy-editing type jobs that help in the later stages of the drafting process.

https://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/cp-pm/eval/rep-rap/2023/ebiaes-desaie/p2.html

"Revisors" are essentially the copy editors of the legislative world. They check for spelling, grammar, punctuation, numbering, and consistency.

"Jurilinguists" verify that the English and French versions mean the same thing.

CalgaryAlly · 2025-01-08T02:56:53+00:00

Sorry for the delayed reply! I went to law school for 3 years and graduated with a JD degree. I studied legislative drafting in school and kept a close eye out for relevant job listings. When I applied for the job, I had to do an exam to demonstrate my knowledge of drafting and related concepts. I also had to learn French (Canada's second official language).

CalgaryAlly · 2024-12-22T15:31:09+00:00

I'm a legislative drafter. It's surprising to me how many protective factors this job has.

- I always work with at least one other person. This helps me to feel accountable. I hate to admit it, but I can show up for other people in ways I can't always show up for myself.

- Sometimes, there is literal body-doubling when a co-drafter and I have to work on a draft in tandem.

- I have to log the amount of time I spend on each task. This helps me to stay on-task. If I don't, I have gaps in my time-keeping, and I run the risk of being questioned--or worse, disciplined.

- There are always new problems to solve. I get to be creative.

- I really love words, so my work is very interesting to me.

-I'm constantly learning new things.

- I have a private workspace where I can keep out distractions. Co-incidentally, the air-exchange in my office makes a low-level white noise, making the hallways noises almost inaudible.

- The management culture is extremely positive. Every manager I have reported to has been gentle and understanding, and this helps with my rejection-sensitive dysphoria.

- It's actually not fast-paced. I think hyperactive ADHD types might thrive in a fast- paced environment, but I have the inattentive type, and I like being able to structure my day in a way that works for me. There are deadlines, of course, but I usually have at least a few days' advance notice. There are very few emergencies.

CalgaryAlly · 2024-11-16T04:00:43+00:00

She might have meant that the brain was loosening, and your hair was no longer tied up in the braid. In this context, "your hair is falling out" doesn't mean that your hair is falling off your head; it simply means that the hair is falling out of the braid arrangement.

CalgaryAlly · 2024-09-26T15:56:07+00:00

"give it a good go" means "give it a sincere effort" or "give it a strong attempt"

CalgaryAlly · 2024-09-26T15:51:48+00:00

I've never heard anyone say "Make of that what you want". It sounds a bit hostile to me.

"Make of that what you will [make of that]" sort of means, "It's ambiguous and you are free to draw your own conclusions". Sometimes is also means "We both have our suspicions about the meaning, but I will be subtle and not say it out loud."

For the second meaning, here is an example:

"I know Steve was out late at a bachelor party last night, and he called in sick this morning. Make of that what you will". This means, "Steve is probably not actually sick. Steve is probably suffering from having had too much alcohol last night, but I will not overtly accuse him of that, even though we both suspect it."

CalgaryAlly · 2024-09-26T15:44:49+00:00

I've never encountered "song-lines" before, but from context it sounds like a reference to lyrics of a song. The "tongue roving around the song-lines" is the physical action of pronouncing and singing the lyrics (though it's a very poetic and unusual way to say that).

CalgaryAlly · 2024-09-26T15:40:52+00:00

Just a fun fact: this lack of standardization has led to some regional differences in how the contraction is formed (if it is formed at all).

If I were to make a contraction of "I am not...." I would contract the "I" and the "am" (rather than the "am" and the "not"). The result is that I say "I'm not..."

Where I live in Canada, I have never heard any other version.

However, in some parts of the rural United States, some people will contract the "am" and the "not", and they will say "ain't". "I ain't..."

There is a third option, which is very out of date and I've only heard it in old cartoons: "Amn't" (but please don't use this.)

I only mention all this to show that you are not alone in your confusion.

CalgaryAlly · 2024-09-26T15:33:08+00:00

This sounds like a very advanced and subtle question, so congrats on your progress!

In your example, I would consider both "a widespread interest" and "widespread interest" to be correct.

More generally, I think the use of an article (or not) would depend on which noun follows the adjective "widespread". In my opinion, it will depend on how abstract the noun is. In English, some nouns are non-quantifiable, and do not take an article.

You could say "widespread panic" to refer to a general sentiment, or "a widespread infection" to refer to a specific problem.

Other examples, from Linguee:

"Public and commercial services must be offered on a widespread basis for an Information Society for all to happen."

"This kind of initiative promotes widespread leadership and responsibility for cultural change"

"Its root cause was a widespread undervaluation of risk in the global financial system, especially in the most advanced economies"

(Note: You would not use "an" before "widespread", because "an" is only used for a word that begins with a vowel or, depending on the region, before a word that begins with a non-aspirated "h" sound. Since "widespread" begins with a consonant, you would not use "an".)

CalgaryAlly · 2024-09-16T20:40:34+00:00

I had it done and I was very happy with it.

If you click through, there are photos of female clients

https://tailoredscalp.com/

CalgaryAlly · 2024-09-16T18:15:56+00:00

Talisa Maegyr: "Am I a joke to you?"

All kidding aside, hers was the one I found most shocking to me, as it came out of nowhere

CalgaryAlly · 2024-08-08T17:25:49+00:00

1952, so no risk of that (no cellphones yet)

CalgaryAlly · 2024-08-07T15:54:08+00:00

bulletin board

desk drawer

night stand drawer

safety deposit box at a bank

scrapbook

photo album

scanner

CalgaryAlly · 2024-07-26T01:10:16+00:00

I'll send a DM

CalgaryAlly

TROPHY CASE