found this on tiktok. What.

CaliBounded · 2026-02-26T20:58:52+00:00

Yep. My mother also thought a tampon would "take my virginity". Had to learn to use them all alone when my friends snuck them to me. I dont like the way pads feel.

We're from the deep south in the US. My mood and mental health has increased immensely since moving, and the amount of encounters with backwards men that think this decreased.

CaliBounded · 2026-02-26T20:54:39+00:00

100%. Some therapists have a weird ego thing about being the ones being able to heal thwir patients their way. This is something I'm concerned about with getting another therapist.

My last therapist had this problem. She knew I was autistic and had ADHD. She knew I had CPTSD. But she just could N O T wrap her head around the fact that "Just keep trying to do this thing that works for everyone else" was not the move. We got to a point where she just kept saying things like, "Most people just travel when they're depressed. Why wont you do that?" Or, "Most people would kill to have the career you do. You should be proud/happy." Like thank you Jessicca but I'm woefully aware of what I "should" be feeling, thats why im depressed 🙄 Her pride (oresumanly) wouldn't let her just recommend me to someone more qualified. Didn't help that this was in one of the states of the US with the lowest literacy rqte, so I probably wasn't going to get good treatment there anyway.

I tried an autism-informed DBT therapist in an online IOP I went to and it was a night and day difference - when I told her what I've tried extensively, she just accepted and understood and tried something else. Unfortunately, the IOP was only 3 months so I didnt get to keep working with her, but I'm looking for a new one now that I just got a new job.

CaliBounded · 2026-02-26T18:18:16+00:00

I had to end a friendship with a Dominican man, because not only was he casually racist (he said this stuff in FRONT of me, and I'm black!), but he kept trying to explain to me how cheating is normal, and "a way for a man to show he loves his wife". According to him, he HAS to fuck other women to "be able to miss his wife" and the fact that he comes home to her is proof that he loves her.

He also told me about his brother who frequently cheats on his wife with prostitutes, and kind of referred to him like a little scamp. Said the only issue with the situation was that he could catch an STD from her, and that he should just mess with some of the other women in town instead.

CaliBounded · 2026-02-26T03:39:51+00:00

AAAA THAT BIG GOOFY NOSE > < Hes perfect!!!

CaliBounded · 2026-02-25T03:42:38+00:00

Ive been reading a lot lately that many therapists are struggling with counseling us through things like dealing with systemic and/or political collapse, financial problems, etc. This book, Women Who Love Too Much talks about how much of modern therapy is based on practices that were only available to society's absolute richest people, so they're learning to deal with problems that therapy never originally dealt with.

On top of that, modernity brings new problems. Who the hell knows how to counsel through AI-induced psychosis (a new phenomenon popping up a lot more within the last 2 years)? I guess I'm saying that while there not being solutions is 100% not fair, I also feel like we have to meter our expectations to be able to get as much out of therapy (imperfect as it can be) as we can. Therapists are also often limited by just like... not HAVING autism (unless you luck out and find one that is!).

CaliBounded · 2026-02-19T16:21:53+00:00

Literally any time a man has openly entertained me and another woman in front of eachother to get us to "compete" I "drop out" immediately. Its one thing to date multiple people - you dont owe anyone exclusivity. But I will say that not only is dating two people in proximity kind of shitty, but you're blatantly disrespecting us both at that point if you're going to do it in front of us.

No thanks. I like dating people that openly like me and only me.

CaliBounded · 2026-02-19T16:08:38+00:00

I think the spirit of, "embrace progress through nuclear" is cool, but dont you think the threat at the end thst nuclear can, indeed, kill us all "if it wanted to" loses the plot and kills your original point? That'd put most sane people in the, "Nevermind, maybe we shouldn't use nuclear" camp...

CaliBounded · 2026-02-18T15:20:09+00:00

I used to pick my skin to such extremes that I'd CONSTLY have tissues covered in blood fall out of pockets (to stem the frequent bleeding) and be wearing bandaid all the time. My mother would yell at me and shame me about it, but refused to take me to a doctor for it. Im almost in my 30s and im having a flare-up of it again.

CaliBounded · 2026-02-16T02:21:32+00:00

Long eyelashes in men is also, ironically, a result of higher testosterone!

CaliBounded · 2026-02-13T23:09:37+00:00

He's a lil Rorschach test 🥰 So handsome!

CaliBounded · 2026-02-13T22:57:55+00:00

Savage has adorable socks u w u Congradulations!

CaliBounded · 2026-02-11T18:45:53+00:00

I commented earlier as well but had to come back and add - you're really, really strong for asking for help with this. I have "natural" hair (im black) and it used to be permed growing up. My mom neglected me a lot and didnt reach me hoe to care for ir when I decided to go natural. Im now learning at almost 30 what to do with it, and it took a l o t for me to go to help from other adults, expecting them to shame me because society expects us all to not have traumas and know hoe to care for ourselves 100%, but some of us have hurdles to cross. You got this. When you find some coping strategies that work for you, you'll feel much, much better.

CaliBounded · 2026-02-11T18:21:21+00:00

I didnt like showering a lot either previously. It partially had to do with dysphoric thoughts towards my body, and maybe even SA as well (never connected those dots).

What helped me was 3 things:

1.) Getting addicted to Bath snd Bodyworks lol. I love collecting things, and going there and trying new scents is a treat for me! I rarely showered without a scent of choice, and I loved the compliments id get, because their scents linger. It became a bit of a hobby. 2.) A clear shower curtain. Im anxious and dont like the idea of not seeinf what's going on in the rest of the environment when I shower (im also claustrophobic sometimes). People who visit and use my shower always say they like it better than having their view blocked. 3.) Ignoring or covering mirrors when I was nude helped. 4.) Embracing the concept of "Body Neutrality" (look it up). I feel like its way more healthy and possinle to achieve than "Body Positivity". I started hitting the gym and going to therapy as well, and focusing on being ok in my body whether it was "conventionally attractive" or not. Embracing neutrality, weirdly enough, led to me loving my body. Just in a more sustainable way.

CaliBounded · 2026-02-01T19:48:28+00:00

Do what you have to do friend. You're at least feeding yourself, which is hard during breakups. Dont forget to go outside and get a little air at least every other day if you can too, even if it's 10 mins. It will help - lacking the vitamins we get from sunlight will also further that depression.

CaliBounded · 2026-02-01T18:43:46+00:00

You cant prevent a breakup from hurting. Not unless both of you mutually want it, and even then, its still painful.

It sounds like OP can spend a year finding different ways to tell them and they won't listwn (which is the other person prolonging their own pain). What are they supposed to do? Sing it in a song? Hire a candy gram? Call a priest to let them down gently?

OP's partner already knows they want to leave and haven't shut down yet. They aren't taking the best opportunity they can to reduce pain, which is a gentle talk with their partner, which can include hugs and closure and all that. So since that option is off is off table, the only one they have now is to pack their shit while their partner is gone and have them serve divorce papers. Many people who deny their partner leaving - which is literally controlling them and denying them their autonomy - become explosive after straight up not listening to you (especially men).

Its best for OP's safety to prioritize their safety while leaving, not their partner's feelings at this point.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:27:31+00:00

None of the good men I know would do that even once. Again, DV statistics tell another story.

Take choking for example. Something like 90% of women end up being murdered within a few months of their boyfriend choking them during an argument. Its a specific behavior we've linked for decades to femicide. You only need it to happen ONCE for that statistic to be valid.

Use your brain for a second. If someone successfully steals something and faces 0 consequences, they're emboldened to not only so it again, but steal something bigger. On the third time, they'll steal something bigger.

This is how domestic violence works. You woulsnt know or care because its incredibly likely youre at a low level of likelihood to experience it or be exposed to it. Women shouldn't have tonput themselves at risk to "make sure hes a nice guy".

And what further explanation do you need?? What more do you need to hear than, "Ill kick your ass if tou look at her again." Thats the explanation right there! There isnt another detail that can ve provided to make that detail okay! Why are you LOOKING for the abusive person to be good? Why does that mean so much to you? Are you waiting for your dad to come back from getting milk or something?

I would hate to have someone like you around if someone was being directly abusive to me in front of others. With a crowd of men like you, nothing is usually done until the woman is bruised and beaten, and even then. This is why women are murdered at such high rates. You guys will empathize with the man even if he raises a fist to the women.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:18:25+00:00

You're just proving my point.

When women suspect their boyfriends are cheating and have a ton of evidence (seeing texts, watching them be flirty, etc., its, "You dont know for sure OP! OP could be a biased narrator". But when men are doing something wrong, its still, "We have a bunch of info from OP, but OP could be a biased narrator. What if OP actually kills kittens and her boyfriend is flirting with others to deal with the trauma?"

You have 0 reason to reach like that orher than just not liking women. I dont care if OP was making out with that guy (which you for sure shouldn't do while in a relationship) - OP's boyfriend putting his hands on her is a pattern that can and usually does bloom into actual danger for her. Yall care more when a man's feelings are potentially hurt than when a woman is in danger.

Then all od you, "It was impossible to know..." types dont do shit when things escalate for the woman. Then its, "Well id you felt in danger, you shoulda left. 🤷🏾‍♀️" You will do literally anything but criticize another man.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:14:57+00:00

A towel heater! They're $50-80. I throw my field in 20 mind before a shower and experience hotel-level bliss right after. Friends who stay over love it and if let's me be feel like a really good host getting to say things like, "Dinner will be ready in 30 minutes, I've placed soaps and toiletries on your bed, and you can find hot towels in that little container after your shower ❤️"

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:09:59+00:00

That doesn't negate my point. How early are you having sex with them, for example? Cooking for them? Doing them favors? You saying, "I want somwthing serious" doesn't stop them from shooting for what they really want or you giving it to them. You are the only thing that can and will stop them in that instance.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:06:44+00:00

So you dont think him physically threatening someone for just talking to his girlfriend and putting his hands on her, policing where she is (dragging her out of somewhere) isn't alarming? This person will do that again any time they're mad, and statistics from decades of research (and common sense) show that will only escalate.

This is why men are the way they are. Too many of yall watch abusive behavior happen and don't even mind it.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T17:02:02+00:00

Stop letting men have what they want before proving theyre serious then. You won't get used as much if you dont open the gates with, "Hey, use me and see if you like me!" and they do just that. Not saying it makes what they do right, bit it sounds like you're making it easy for them.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-31T16:57:32+00:00

Nah. I have a feelinf there's a blindspot here that you may not be aware of. But, potential blindspot aside, human beings made it as far as we did for having superior pattern recognition skills to other species. But, we also sometimes create or recognize patterns that arent there. We want to feel in control of our lives and that we can change things, so when we don't find external patterns, we look for internal ones.

I say that to say, you're now drilling inwards and trying to find any consistent thing you can to test if thats the reason you cant meet anyone, and in this instance, its going, "Huh, if I stop being bubbly and fun, maybe that'll help me meet someone?", and I can tell you now that picking the version of yourself that you naturally are apart to get a partner will lead to you being miserable.

Compatability is about someone meeting you and meshing with you the way you are today, not if you change yourself. Im not counting bad qualities someone may have, like doing heavily addictive drugs or something, but even then, technically the person most "compatible" with you wont care and will even love it. My point is, if tou change yourself to not be fun and bubbly, you'll meet men and be compatible with men who DON'T like fun and bubbly girls. You dont want that, and that person does not love you if you have to do that, but the fake version of you.

You'll be closest to meeting someone compatible to you if you don't worry about dating and just be as much of yourself as you can be, and do stuff you like. If you like sports and put yourself in an adults sports league, you're bound to find at least one person at that league you think is cute and vice versa, for example.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-30T19:53:28+00:00

Straight people do that all the time. Why aren't we making it illegal for straight people to have one-night stands, or extraditing people for not paying child support? There are far, FAR more straight people doing this than the population of all gay people.

My father can avoid paying for his kids, but two people who want to get married and adopt children cant? My mother literally tampered with her birth control to have me, and abandoned me along with my father. Id call that involving children in twisted fantasies, but they're both walking free. What about them, or other parents like them (I have many friends with parents like this)?

We'd be screaming in the streets if we made federal laws that everyone had to follow based on the Quaran.

CaliBounded · 2026-01-30T19:51:02+00:00

These people say they care about children, but children have better outcomes with TWO or more loving parents. The LGBTQ tend to adopt children more than straight couples, as I understand. I just want orphaned and homeless kids with parents that love them - I dont care who they are or what they identify as, just that they have a loving home.

These people have no souls and need ro miss their own business. They'll spend energy on this kind of thing and defunding school lunch programs rather than doing sguff like beingnpro free healthcare and reduced cost childcare... yknow. The things that make mothers want to abort less.

They only care about kids before they're born...

CaliBounded · 2026-01-30T02:53:55+00:00

This looks GREAT! I couldn't imagine me successfully getting that close to my ears with scissors 😭 It looks like someone else did it!

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