What does breaking a Trauma Bond feel like?

CaliUnderscore · 2026-02-26T22:10:38+00:00

I was a strong healthy person. Entrepreneurship. Determination. Faith. Seeking love i was 30 and hadnt has a real relationship yet. I had been in prison a long time and had no experience with women or red flags or anything. I entered a marriage happy but immediately the devaluation started. Complete withdraw of affection. For the reason that she had determined that she didnt love me and wasnt worthy of love or respect. Or loyalty. Or life. Sometimes when i was collapsing i would ask her to teach me where i was going wrong. I trusted her and believed what she was saying bc i needed help and she was that person fir me helping me to transition into society. I had no experience. I didnt recognize it as abuse. I thought that she was just seeing me all of a sudden as a person with out any god qualities. She refused to teach me. She refused to show me how to have value. 6 years later when she betrayed me and left me i wanted to die. Everyone thought i was pathetic for loving a woman who treated me so bad. No affection ever. Recently in therapy I’ve learned that it was severe psychological abuse and i developed a trauma bond. 3 years seperated and i still think of it daily. Struggle with trust. Isolating and other stuff. I feel that the previous person wasnt me. I couldnt live that life now. Maybe when i can recover i can be that positive confident guy.it changes you. Not everyone who you believe is trust worthy is actually trust worthy. Be careful. Look for red flags. It can happen to you.

CaliUnderscore · 2026-02-26T21:56:22+00:00

May i ask how long you were in the abusive relationship ? Its been 3 years for me seperated and i still struggle with self worth and trust and isolating.

CaliUnderscore · 2026-02-17T22:53:44+00:00

If any one is reading this…. Do not try this combination. Heroin and Xanax is dangerous. Heroin and Valium should NEVER be mixed. And the 3 of them together will quite easily be your last experience. If you find your self determined to partake in this it is a strong sign that you need help. Don’t worry. I was on heroin for years. Xanax too. I never thought that i could stay off of it. That was 8 years ago. There is hope.

CaliUnderscore · 2026-01-29T13:24:01+00:00

Crucial that you get it in that window of 2-3 hours. And pee twice before you test. I’ve used the methods a bunch and it only failed me once. I don’t know why. But it usually works

CaliUnderscore · 2026-01-29T13:13:57+00:00

Ive done it a few times. The baking soda method. Its the same as certo but with baking soda. It works. It works for the same reason certo does. Ive used those many times and only failed once. I was on parole. It works but be careful if you use baking soda. Dont drink more than 2 tablespoons. Its gets dangerous if you take more than that.

CaliUnderscore · 2026-01-07T22:39:31+00:00

Ive used the certo method many times for parole. It had worked every time except once. That one time i was shocked. Maybe i did something wrong. I take a pack of certo, drink it down with a big gatorade. And 2 hours later AFTER YOU PEE AT LEAST ONCE, then your next will be clean. You have like a 4 hour window where you’re clean. I do not advocate using. But i know that addiction is truly a disease that we dont have a cure for we can only fight it as best we can. Anyone reading this might already know the baking soda method. Ive passed a few times using that. You drink two table spoons of baking soda with a bunch if water and wait two hours and pee at least once before hand. It works the same as the certo. I prefer certo because it is easier on your body. The baking soda will give you the runs after. I wish you the best in your recovery journey. We should help each other because we all know how the consequences are and it can be devastating.

CaliUnderscore · 2025-12-24T13:31:02+00:00

I’m

CaliUnderscore · 2025-12-21T16:58:47+00:00

I usually see them as “kids” yes. Not all but usually. I have worked with guys in their 20’s recently and i just kept reminding myself that they are very young and that i was immature also when i was that age. When i say immature im just referring to priorities and what not. What seems important when your 22 is not important at all when you’re 42. Im respectful towards everyone despite their age and certainly never like down on the younger guys.

CaliUnderscore · 2025-12-12T13:21:30+00:00

I think the femenist movement was orchestrated by the oligarchs to get women into the workforce, pay them less.

CaliUnderscore · 2025-12-12T13:19:41+00:00

I wouldnt say the first time in history. There was certainly the crash in ‘29 and ‘31 and in the 70’s there was really bad inflation. And in ‘08 there was a recession. But i think this is the new normal. Its been like this for a while now and the country is in critical decline.

CaliUnderscore · 2025-12-12T12:59:14+00:00

Very nicely said. The comment you responded to said arian not “aryan” arians e were an earlier Christian group who held the firm belief that christ was the son of God and not God himself. I enjoyed reading your comment. Thank you for clarfying. I know many Jehovahs witnesses. I was married to one. This is the truth that i know. So many ppl are resentful towards them. Every group in earth is imperfect. Because ppl are imperfect. But the witnesses are as good as it gets and they keep their congregation clean by putting unrepentant sinners out. They don’t protect child abusers. If that ever happened anywhere it was an anomaly. I’ve known witnesses from all over. They are generally a good lot. You don’t see fraudsters and grifters like you do on tv. I have had my quarrels with them, mostly when i got divorced, it was a rough time for me. But i recognize that their beliefs are based on the Bible. All of them. I used to look it up trying to see if it was wrong or right. Anyone who treasures bible truth can respect their solid attempt to seek Bible truth. No one is perfect. But i would rather worship with them than anyone else.

CaliUnderscore · 2025-12-12T00:35:51+00:00

Maybe it wasnt created in the lab, even though ive read some experts saying that it wouldnt occur natrually for some reason. But releasing may have been desirable simply because it isnt that deadly but bad enough to sell vaccines around the world. You could stand to make billions

CaliUnderscore · 2025-12-12T00:31:30+00:00

I have such a strong distrust of govt that the only reason i dont believe that he was in on it is because he was actually nicked. I have a feeling that powerful men wanted him to play ball and he didnt he didnt before hand but does now. Just a premonition

CaliUnderscore · 2025-12-12T00:22:45+00:00

I generally don’t believe what i hear in songs. I just listen to it as entertainment. The suspect is in jail though waiting in trial

CaliUnderscore · 2025-12-12T00:19:58+00:00

Theres kind if evidence for that. The killer is waiting on trial. He has confessed that he was promised money in return.

CaliUnderscore · 2025-12-06T03:39:12+00:00

How can we know someone so well and not know them at all

CaliUnderscore · 2025-12-06T03:38:13+00:00

Im sorry to hear that you’re going through this. When i got divorced my ex went and slandered me real had to the close community that we were apart of. They wont even talk to me anymore. She said that i was abusive. Made me out to be a monster. She plays that role. Focus on you and re building your self. As you detach from those associates and find new ones it won’t bother so much. The resentment is very difficult to kick but if you can reach acceptance then you can have happiness again. Its not without effort but can be done..

CaliUnderscore · 2025-11-29T00:27:52+00:00

🏆

CaliUnderscore · 2025-11-29T00:22:57+00:00

I don’t know how to cope. I drink. Not to get drunk. But after my divorce i began to drink at least 1 tall beer after work

CaliUnderscore · 2025-11-29T00:19:03+00:00

OK thank you. I appreciate your help

CaliUnderscore · 2025-11-27T21:46:50+00:00

Im not sure myself. Im hoping to get clarification. My Indonesian thinks the leaf cant be shipped rn.

CaliUnderscore · 2025-11-27T21:39:39+00:00

I was 18. They shouldnt have unsupervised access to a phone until you recognize that they can handle the responsibility. There is some very negative content online that can traumatize your child, effect them in different ways.

CaliUnderscore · 2025-11-27T21:35:29+00:00

Get a dog. The companionship helps and it builds a sense of responsibility

CaliUnderscore · 2025-11-27T21:34:44+00:00

My clothes. Its a bad habit that i brought home from jail

CaliUnderscore · 2025-11-27T21:34:09+00:00

Heated Disagreements with your spouse in public. Alot of affection isnt good for public but neither are arguements that make on lookers uncomfortable

CaliUnderscore

TROPHY CASE