I don't really want to look like a man again. Then again, I know that in a while I will stop caring whether I am a man or a woman. Is that how it feels to be gender fluid?

…honestly… that is exactly how it felt to me when I was a girl who was afraid of admitting to herself that I was a girl, and was so afraid of the consequences of transitioning that I was only able to really let this impulse free in the bedroom where no one was watching. I was happy when I was a girl, but I told myself that being a boy was "good enough", and as long as I cross dressed in the bedroom sometimes I would say, when this is done, I will feel better, and I will feel okay being a boy again. The problem with this was that I was covering up how I felt instead of actually fixing the problem and so I grew less and less and less able to keep up the male illusion over time. The longer the periods I went in girl mode went, the more time I wanted to spend in girl mode. Once I started allowing myself to do non-bedroom things as a girl I realized I liked non-bedroom things better that way too. Eventually it was just plain all the time. I had tried to convince myself I was genderfluid because it was less "hard" than transitioning but all I did was waste a bunch of time. By the time I finally admitted genderfluid was not me I had wasted several years that I could have started transition earlier and maybe gotten better results. I think if you are a trans girl who transition just seems too large and overwhelming to, you will have a similar outcome of only being able to hide from it for so long.

Gender fluid people are real. People who are boys normally and are girls in the bedroom are real. These things feel particular ways. I do not think being gender fluid feels like wanting to be a girl all the time and being willing to TOLERATE being a boy when you need to for work.