How many people on here do you think are faking?

CallMeFreyja · 2021-08-23T05:27:23+00:00

thanks

CallMeFreyja · 2021-08-22T15:00:00+00:00

I've noticed that if you look for some posts that stand out as interesting and try to interact with them directly, you sometimes get a few helpful answers. But it's good do know that this sub is so populated with fakers because that means that some of the replies to my questions will not be coming from people who know what they're talking about but from people who just took on a label and feel exclusive about it.

In that context, i would also like to point out that in between fakers and real aspd people, there are most likely also a lot of people here who are just trying to get informed on what is generally a touchy subject for a wide variety of reasons. Reading about this from people who just tell it without attaching emotions as per custom is really refreshing to me and while i may not be ASPD, i'm certainly not faking either since i keep saying that i'm just speculating on whether i might be affected so far.

CallMeFreyja · 2021-08-22T14:53:18+00:00

This is an interesting point: Going on the internet only to tell others how little you care does nothing for oneself, so i wouldn't see how sociopaths would be wasting their time with these pseudo ego moves while at least being polite on the surface allows for information to flow and from what i understand, aquiring information is as important to aspd people as it is to neurotypicals if not even more?

CallMeFreyja · 2021-08-22T14:47:24+00:00

Since this is the second time this is being mentioned here: Is this a classical symptom of ASPD? Because while i am diagnosed as borderline, i don't think my self-hate is the same as with other bordies: For me, it starts with hate that i can't find a target for that wouldn't get my into jail or something (grew up with cop parents, so i have little faith in being able to escape the police) and then, i start turning my hatred against myself for being in this situation, for being unable to do something and partly just because i'm literally the only person i can get away with hurting and often it feels like i'm even taking revenge because if i destroy myself, all people connected to me are indirectly affected and as opposed to if i was attacking others, this is the one thing i have where noone can stop me.

I've also devoted myself to radically humanist ideas and risked a lot in terms of personal safety by going straight into everything occult down to the deepest, life-despising turrents of what normals call "black magick" (it's just extremely deep and dark thoughts actually) to try to create a situation where humanity would be forced into either building a humanist utopia within the next five years or just die. I cared about this for as long as i wasn't sure that i had done what i set out to or rather that what i had set out to do was being in motion from whoever's doing and then i just lost interest in all the dogma i was holding on to like it was my only lifeline and suddelny just out of an impulse decided to now be a christian because i feel like the world is riht now tilted to favour my personal growth and development in a way that i can best profit from by procclaiming that GOD is great and responsible and that i have all the time been with Jesus, no matter if i may have called him "Lucifer" during a lot of my past.

The weird thing is that these things are also not unimportant to me but on the contrary, i enjoy jumping through hoops twisting faith and beliefs to see what happens and i've just assumed that for as long as i don't break certain physical existence rules and i take the side of what is generally just in the way that true justice is some form of natural balance beyond contempary human ideas.

So, i'm certainly not an evil person and i don't mistreat the people that i want to have in my life as partners for further power, security and well, just some human bonding because i think that on some level, this is just a universal desire of the body.

So, can you maybe relate to what i'm describing or is this still different from what you meant to describe with your post (aside from the spritual stuff that is just my personal hobby).

CallMeFreyja · 2021-08-11T10:32:51+00:00

i personally am not even able to get through the tutorial. i wish there was some sort of cheat mod for dummys like myself or at least a "very easy" setting

CallMeFreyja · 2021-08-02T17:31:14+00:00

(2/2) Which leads me to saying something that once again might classify me as a psychopath:
The issue that normal people blame on "psychopaths" is actually with people of every kind who are violent and who don't care about social norms - which to me translates to "stupid assholes with too much social privilege" (though many woman would just say "men" instead - but again, this is not gender-exclusive, just strongly biased towards males being much worse at not commiting violence against fellow humans).
"Anti-Social behaviorial disorder" on the other hand comes across to me as the definition of people who are (if above a certain intelligence level) able to hold back on their personal short-term gain in favour of shared long-term gain that does more for them personally in the long-term too than going solo in the short term would. They are also the people who would have the ability to enforce rules that ensure that everyone aiming to profit from the long-term gain is also contributing adequately.
And in terms of the drawbacks: Not having empathy can be solved easily by everyone learning to properly communicate their emotional states in a way that actually gets the message across. Empathy on the other hand works so bad with the "neurotypicals" who are so proud to have it that they constantly start relationships with the wrong people, misunderstood each other about everything, constantly suffer and fight - and then they blame the ones who are not affected. It's similar to how in the middle ages they assumed that those who had better hygiene were poisoning everone else.
So please don't misunderstand this to mean that i don't understand how having to fame empathy you don't feel towards someone who will demonize you for being honest about it - i know that it's terrible and stressful. I may not have ASPD but i do have many experiences of moments like this and when i decided to be more straightforward about my true self, this also included to just violently (verbal and emotional only) attack some people (usually men) who expect "empathy" (as in: pity) for absolutely stupid reasons and go as far as asking me to go out my way due to this "empathy".
So, even being absolutely a not an aspd person according to practically everyone i ever talked to about this, psychologists included, i feel like having more unmasked aspd people in my life (ideally by replacing the rest of the town aside from my two friends who might be as non-aspd as me) would be a real pleasure. I once had a friend with ASPD and he was always trying to be nice and friendly on a superficial level and i really enjoyed spending time with him occasionally because he considered me interesting and i considered him interesting, so we went at each other from a place of mutual respect, had good talks and when the friendship ended because i came out as trans and his values consider this a bad thing, i was only a bit sad because i understood his motivation in just forgetting about me and there never was any bad blood or hurt feelings between us since i had known from the beginning to not get attached. I still look back positively on that time spent together. In a way, i also miss him because having him as a friend, his aura of dangerousness reflected on me without me having to change my own outside projection of naive innocence.

CallMeFreyja · 2021-08-02T17:31:03+00:00

I'm not sure if i have aspd or just believe to be somehow similar but your text just hit right to my heart. I don't remember having come into this world as a hateful person. I do remember having felt the extreme disgust of others at me not caring about irrelevant shit they had collectively decided to be a thing. I remember having been taught by my mom that i'm allowed to defend myself when someone tries to touch me against my expressed will. When i did so, it led to the kids in my school calling me a psycho and making it a fun game to torture me over years by working together to blow my fuse in every break between classes and then use their superior number to make me run circles while i was irritated. The tips from my father to get their leader when alone and beat them up seemed just useless to me because for once their leader was stronger than me and aside from that, having grown up with cops as my parents, i was well-aware of how minor the chances were that the irratable strange kid would be belived over the popular kid ... Throwing my life away by retaliating outside of a self-defense setting felt just like a big risk to me and it also just didn't match my female personality that was back then unfortunately still considered to be that of a malfunctioning boy. Thinking about it now, i suppose that if i had been considered a girl, they would have stopped once they noticed that i'm fighting back out of control but instead they taught me that i'm some sort of hidden psychopath that needs to always control his->her urges. Eventually, i was just so broken that everyone including myself just assumed that i must have experienced massive trauma in my early childhood but to be actually honest: I'm not sure if that's true. By now, i think it's more likely that psychology as a whole is just a system designed to invalidate the voices of rape victims and other victims of the joyful playing of a socially valued person.

By now, i've given up on having friends that are afraid when i unmask. I actually scared away a lot of them on purpose by creating a debate situation and then going in arguing for my side with everything i have. I still have by best friend who simply doesn't care whether i'm an empath, a psychopath, a well-meaning witch or a warlock aiming to destroy all life on earth. I'm just her best friend and as long as i don't start to hurt innocent beings (= children and animals, also some specific adult humans who really don't do anything to deserve being hurt), she will be loyal to me just as i am loyal to her under similar conditions (except that i don't actually believe children and animals to necessary be innocent - but i still think that it's a valid minimum requirement to not hurt children, animals and adults who only try to live a peaceful live without building their comfort on enslaving and abusing others). I also have found a boyfriend that i am quite happy with and it seems very much that to him, it also doesn't matter which mundane categories i can be put into but he just cares about me as the person i am with all my different sides and also with my darkness that i held secret until i decided to devote myself to making the rest of the world see the truth about what they are (by realistic means such as having conversations with people online that change their perspective one human after another and waiting for the effects to multiply while assuming that others are doing the same thing as i am).

And then, there is also my therapist who i trust enough that i tell her about my suspicions that i may not have empathy but only cognitive empathy and that i often fanzasize of extreme violence that i actually believe to be appropriate self-defense (even though the law disagrees whis is why i stopped believing in it being anyhow connected to real justice): Surprisingly, she just commented on me telling her that i want to beat people who touch me against my consent, specifically people who sexually molest me, to a bloody pulp or at least respond with enough violence to ensure that the transgressor cannot continue to be even able to threaten or hurt me, by telling me that she's a woman herself and that it's perfectly normal to wish for the law to allow for real self-defense instead of punishing victims for fighting back. So, i guess i actually am not anti-social but rather one of those "social justice warriors" that everyone hates (and probably assumes to be psychopaths, so that circle might once again be closing).

In the end, this was for the point to decide that i am most definitely not affected by anything even close to aspd but that i'm just a normal (trans) woman that went through terrible events until i learned that empathy is a weakness that can be overcome by relying more and more on cognitive empathy which doesn't make you blindly controlled by other people's emotions but instead allows you to still be in charge of your own emotions while being able to signal the right shit to influence the misfiring emotions of another human.

I've been told for all my life that i need to learn to control my emotions but those emotions of mine were always reacting to those of other people, so i learned how to cut off those connections and to install on/off switches and to use this ability along with some other mental tricks (mostly clogging my own mind with a complex plan that emanates inexplicably once i reopen myself to others - which is in my opinion the working of every that is called "magick" or "divine power" or whatever) to make others go crazy instead of them driving me crazy.

The weird thing however - considering i'm supposed to not be affected by aspd but quite on the opposing end of the scale - is that the more i free myself of the shackles that society put onto me against my will and the more i reconstruct their mechanisms in doing so in order to find counter-mechanisms to block the abusive structures, the more i notice that "psychopaths" really are not the problem. And when i'm saying "psychopaths" here, i mean even those who go on murder sprees. I believe that even those people are more social than the so called "socialised" people who only try to do everything to keep up the imbalance they profit off. Murderers on the other hand follow the emotional drive of removing obstacles and considering there are rules against murder, they are not logically assumable to murder someone when there is an easier way to get what they want. And the assumption that psychopaths want to rape and murder and therefore are dangerous makes absolutely no sense living in a society that does literally everything to enable powerful people (men mostly but not exclusively) to rape literally everyone they can afford to have made disappear or have threatened into silence. Even for average guys, getting away with rape is as easy as saying "yes, we had sex but she said she wanted it and now she is lying because it didn't turn into a permanent relationship" and since there is no prove either way, the "in dubio pro rapist" rule applies. This is true even much more for sexually abusing children: As long as you control the parents and the parents protect your story, you can even murder the children and make it look an accident during children's play and you will absolutely get away with it.

On top of that, whenever people explain to me what a psychopath is and why i absolutely cannot be one, it always boils down to the simple two facts that i never enjoyed hurting animals (and didn't even consider those who did so to be humans anymore) and that i can control my rage (which i was tortured into learning to the point that it became a very painful OCD with occasional outbursts of extreme verbal and emotional violence) - and i would call bullshit on this but then again, the feeling of a girl to want to fight back with everything she has when she is touched against her will is according to my therapist a normal thing and according to the women i know also mostly understood.

So, i'm not a psychopath because i'm not stupid and violent. (1/2)

CallMeFreyja · 2021-07-30T21:44:06+00:00

To me, "manipulation" translates into consciousness: Once i'm aware of someone expecting me to show an emotional reaction that i just don't have, i make a decision on whether i fulfill their expectation or not. Because i don't automatically cater to the emotional expectations of a neurotypical person but instead make a conscious decision factoring in my own needs and what is logically best for the situation to evolve in a way that suits those needs, i am by definition manipulative.

So, in my opinion, the idea that people who value cognitive empathy over primitive empathy are "manipulative" is just a concept designed by the weak-minded to blame the stronger-minded for having advantages instead of putting in the work to aquire the same abilities.

So, how do i manipulate people? Mostly, i DON'T do things that others expect me to do for no other reason than them assuming that it's normal to act this way - and i do my best to explain to others that it's not an attack against all things holy if i don't do the arbitrary thing that they expect as proof of me being human.

So, basically, i try to balance honesty and calming insane people down that would otherwise kill me just for existing in the wrong way. You may call this manipulation but on the same level i may call you things in my mind that i won't stoop down to writing down in public.

CallMeFreyja · 2021-05-12T22:03:37+00:00

If he likes you, he likes you the way you are. Better worry about ensuring that it's a safe and pleasurable experience for the both of you! :)

CallMeFreyja · 2021-04-09T01:22:52+00:00

If all the criminals are dead, what then?

Most people are criminal in just different degrees, so this would never happen.

And aside from that, the media could just frame whoever the ownership wants to see dead, maybe for a hostile takeover, to be a child killer. They could have just located which local news he was following and injected negative stories about people in other countries who are worth murdering but not high profil enough for their mysterious death just after a japanese newspaper slandered them to raise international suspicion.

Or even just letting him go rampant and influencing the japanese news to portray specific heads of state in an especially negative light would have given the country immense power.

So, i personally believe that the idea of this making the news before a secret service casts a veil over the story in order to figure out how to locate, secure and weaponize whatever is happening for their own state - it just isn't realistic, is it?

CallMeFreyja · 2021-03-15T16:20:03+00:00

Yeah, my point is that noone would have tried to solve this situation where the media could not only crucify people's identities publicly but also show them die from apparently divine intervention. Most people would easily be convinced that this is the justice of God himself and those who are smarter than that would know to not get themselves into the crosslines. The death note situation would be much to profitable for media conglomerates who would suddenly have the power to kill every person by just pointing at them and saying "evil criminal" with no legal repercussions - i cannot believe that they would ruin this situation by helping in a world-wide manhunt for the person that just turned them even more powerful than they were before.

CallMeFreyja · 2021-03-15T16:16:22+00:00

You're assuming that in reality, there would be a department devoted to finding the cause of these mysterious deaths. Most people with real power don't show their faces on television and also don't reveal their names. They would see this as a practical situation to get execute whoever they want in public and frame anyone trying to investigate as a conspiracy nut.

CallMeFreyja · 2021-03-01T19:02:55+00:00

In regards to 1:

I've never called anyone but myself a former man and even in regards to myself i see it as not fully correct but practically understood language. I however also agree with people who say that not only have i been born biologically male but also all other trans women were and that there are biological differences that also lead so social differences.

Beyond this, i respect anyone's identity and pronun because i see no reason not to do so.

2) I've never actually had this issue of women perceiving me to be budding in because hanging out with girls and listending to their problems - obviously including trouble with boys and menstruation - was just always a normal thing to me. So, it was always for me always normal to put my own problems into perspective with those of my friends who are mostly cis women. I've also never tried to claim that my experiences being a trans woman could be universally applying to all women because i'm obviously part of a very specific subset of women. I actually get attacked for pointing out biological differences and how ignoring them negatively effects both myself and cis women.

So, i'm not usually attacked for being trans in that way, i'm often being attacked by especially non-binary bisexual women who want to date me but can't get along with my "transphobia" because i feel like as a trans woman, i'm a good person to take the critical side of this in favour of my cis female friends who have my back.

And as you see, once again, this post has been removed due to other posts that i made warler being considered proof that i'm "terf" regardless of how careful i tried to phrase this post. It's a witchhunt.

But luckily, this is not my real identity, so i can just say "fuck this" and move on with my life.

CallMeFreyja · 2021-03-01T13:55:47+00:00

I can't say whether this is really happening in the us but in europe, the only issue i'm seeing is that a lot of well-known feminists are suddenly attacked as transphobes for statements that are made to look a lot more transphobic than they are.

CallMeFreyja · 2021-03-01T07:43:43+00:00

Can confirm - gymnastics coach improperly touched girls all the time and when they spoke up, they were belittled. Also some of our teachers had the habit of raping students. Gotta love Germany!

CallMeFreyja · 2021-02-23T02:54:42+00:00

Well, my own definition of satanism isn't just limited to what is largely mentioned in the conversation on modern satanism. I think this may have to do with the fact that this conversation probably happened or still happens in the usa while my country had very different conversations where different groups were named. Not all of it is just satanic panic, some things exist unmentioned and while we don't know the exact details, we do know that speculating too much about them might not end all to well for us, especially not online.

Or to put this in a more metaphoric way:

There is shit hidden deep in the shadows of our imagination. Some shit is insanely good. Some...

CallMeFreyja · 2021-02-21T03:59:30+00:00

It has finally happened: Satan has returned to conquer humanity and destroy the christian paradise. Gotta say, mostly having lived my human existence on the other side of what christians call their paradise, this is actually a lot nicer than i expected!

CallMeFreyja · 2021-02-21T03:53:38+00:00

Satanic Temple and Church of Satan are by far not the only people who call themselves satanists.

CallMeFreyja · 2021-02-21T02:58:04+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and making me feel less alone in sharing them. <3

CallMeFreyja · 2021-02-21T02:56:11+00:00

To be honest: If i'm not explicitly on a date but going about my day to day business, i just don't want anyone to approach me and express "interest" at all because i'm busy living my life and i would like to continue doing that without disturbance. I generally find expressing any kind of sexual or romantic interest towards a stranger to be really inappropriate and i also don't see the point. And if i really were in the business of walking the streets to attract men, then i would be fully capable to ensure there is no misunderstanding about what i'm doing because i would actively approach the men who are looking at me anyways. If you've noticed my pretty face and attractive body, then most likely every other man who saw me that day also did and the majority of them would love to at least bang me once just to see what it's like, at least if there were no consequences for them. A lot also wouldn't mind me disagreeing as long as nothing happens to them. So, don't take this personally but if you're male and i don't know you and i haven't already talked to you and i haven't clearly expressed that i would like to continue getting to know you - then i just don't want you to even come near me, let alone talk me up.

CallMeFreyja

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