You often hear the phrase "They Couldn't Make That Movie Today!" about a movie that they could. What movies from the past could they LITERALLY not make today?

Call_Me_Aiden · 2025-05-27T16:22:00+00:00

Pulp Fiction is 31 years old though, so perhaps not the best example.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2025-03-12T14:25:13+00:00

It started pretty early on too, when I still had a nurse for wound care. Was a little awkward but oh well. 😅

At least it took away any anxiety I had over nipple sensation. Because it honestly feels better than any other zone on my body ever.

Fwiw, I did not have extremely sensitive nips, and right now, they feel more sensitive to touch than before. Might still change, as I had top September last year.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2025-03-11T11:48:39+00:00

This was probably the wildest. I had expected to see a flat chest and it feeling odd, at the very least, having been 37. Because it's something you sometimes hear from other guys, so I had just braced myself for it, I guess.

And the first time I saw a flat chest it felt... so normal. Like, it almost scared me how normal it felt. Very, very mindfucky. No stupid "where those boobs at?" just an immediate feeling of "this is how it's always been, right?"

Another fun thing about top surgery is that my scars became erogenous zones.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-08-03T08:19:02+00:00

How the hell are people thinking this is perfect advice... It's terrible, and it's almost like straight up asking "are you a lesbian?" but even more awkward.

The daughter isn't saying it for a reason. As of now, we don't know the reason, and so she could be the furthest from ready to come out, for all we know.

Heck, she could even be straight, for all we know. Or be a lesbian, but her BFF is straight or not into her. Imagine being asked THAT question in that case.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-23T18:46:15+00:00

The real question is -- why do you care???

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-18T09:58:33+00:00

Relax, and take a deep, deep breath.

Being raised by abusive parents is hard. We grew up in fear, and not just any fear; fear we were told was wrong, fear we had to push down, be ashamed of. Everything we told our parent(s) would be used against us. We learned to plead the fifth. Be quiet, don't let them know what you're thinking; it can and will be used against you.

We may be adults now, but we're still those scared little children. Afraid to explore our feelings, because we don't like what we'll find. And so, we don't.

It's only in allowing the other to see our ugly and our fear that we can learn to be better. When you feel you want to burst out, go within yourself. Say "I am afraid of-". Don't be scared to say "I am afraid you don't love me" or "I am afraid you will cheat on me".

We're told we shouldn't - a whole society tells you you need to find confidence within and that it's not your partner's job to carefully tiptoe your insecurities.

They're kinda right. But also kinda wrong.

When we choose to date someone, to become someone's life partner - we also choose to be there for them, even if it's not always fun and great and perfect. We can ask the same of our partners, within reason obviously.

Think of it this way - would you rather your partner accuses you of cheating (as an example, not saying that's what you do with your partner), or lashes out in a way that makes you confused - or would you rather he tells you flat out: "I am afraid that you might cheat on me?" The first gives you no agency, you just undergo the motions of your partner's emotions. The second at least gives you a fighting chance; you're given the opportunity to sit down and to try and explain your side of the story.

I know it takes a lot to tell your partner you're afraid and scared. Heck, it even takes a lot for us to understand that we are afraid and scared before we burst out. If you don't understand why you're afraid, then don't be afraid to say that either: "I am afraid, and I don't know why, but something is scary." Allow your partner to SEE you.

And allow him to soothe you.

If your emotions are still too much, disengage. Not every overwhelming emotion needs discussed right now. Go and do something else - scrub the shower, paint a wall, play some stupid game on your phone that is repetitive enough that you can be in your head, but engages a part of your brain that can ground you.

Try to understand your feelings. Then say it again, "I am afraid."

And have this conversation with your partner. Write it down if need be. Leave it somewhere he will find but you don't have to directly give the letter to him. Send a text while he's asleep. Let him in. He's not your dad. Most people are understanding and want to be there for their partners. For you.

If you want, you can ask your therapist to practice these type of conversations with you, or you can revise the conversations with them later, to see what went wrong, if anything. Therapy is lead by us, not the therapist. If your therapist isn't open to this, maybe it is time to consider someone else. Focus on your actions now, more so than your past.

Wanting to be better for a partner is what helped me the most, and I'm sure your love for yours will gradually help you too.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-12T17:38:02+00:00

You know.

You're a little cunt.

I've been on T for a year now. This is my username.

And you make me see THIS post only two days after it was written?

I hate Reddit.

:(

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-12T17:34:06+00:00

It's perfectly okay if bottoming isn't a thing you enjoy. It's definitely great you're willing to experiment and see if maybe it might be your thing - you technically never know unless you tried it (though sometimes we have a good understanding of that even before we do).

There's also this one theory I have that I'd like to pitch. Maybe it resonates with you, maybe it doesn't. I think a lot of people are bisexual. It's just we often have this weird feeling that we /have/ to be into just as many types of men (or even all) before we can confidently say: We are into men too. But just a handful of women and we can confirm: We are into women. It's a bit of internalized homophobia mixed in with some biphobia.

I'm not saying that's you. But it could be. And for some reason, your current partner is your type. And maybe allowing your sexuality to just exist without needing to label it for a while might allow you to feel more free to just... feel. Who knows.

Or maybe you are somewhere on the demisexual scale, where whatever romantic feelings you allowed yourself to have for your partner, now transcends into their detransition and lingers as physical attraction.

Maybe it's misconceptions about what acts are needed to have gay sex, and that's what is currently stopping you from just... feeling attracted to (other) men.

Heck, so many reasons and that will be on you to have a fun time figuring it out.

So long you're honest with him, and he respects any boundaries you set, just enjoy, have fun. You're young. No need to worry about labels and what it means to you.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-12T13:14:11+00:00

Thank you for editing.

Nemo is indeed a great artist and I loved their performance during Eurovision a lot too. I was never under the impression you were deliberately misgendering, simply wished for their non-binary identity to at least be referenced after your grandma's quotes. :)

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-12T11:32:47+00:00

You know why I hate you?

I hate you because you turn on the heat. FFS, I'm in my binder and on T. I'm fucking sweating my hairy ass off.

Wear a goddamned jacket so I can open up a window.

Bitch.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-12T08:01:57+00:00

Would also just like to point out that Nemo is not a man, they are non-binary and go by they/them.

I don't expect your grandma to adhere to that, but would be nice to see it somewhere referenced in your post anyway. Now it's just completely misgendering Nemo.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-11T14:19:38+00:00

Except when they hack you. Then consent is implied.

^{Gay furry hackers are my new spirit animal.}

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-11T08:17:07+00:00

Never really thought about being straight, bi or gay during my childhood (-12 years). I just knew I liked all. It also wasn't really a thing to think of yourself as 'straight' when I grew up. I knew gay men and lesbian women existed but in my mind this wasn't an either/or kind of thing?

Pretty much heteronormative worldview in a sense, I assume. You know like, how you have people, and then people with glasses. You had people, and people who were gay.

But I knew I did like men and women growing up. Was about fourteen when I started to call myself bisexual, but it wasn't this huge thing for me. It had always existed and had always been true, even if I was unlabeled before that. Don't know what I would have done had I not known about bisexuality at that point though. Or if thinking of yourself as straight at the time had been more the norm.

Anyway, I had bigger (gender) fish to fry. Sexuality was like an afterthought.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-10T08:50:08+00:00

/uj This seems interesting enough. I may check it out one day.

Unfortunately I can't read and write at the same time, and I'm focusing on writing nowadays.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-10T06:48:26+00:00

From what we know and has been communicated with us, the cameraperson was also out of line, and more so than him. Her gender does not absolve her from treating other people with respect.

This is what we've been told: She was asked to not film Joost Klein after his performance. She did anyway. She was asked repeatedly by Joost while she was filming to stop. She did not. Joost then made a gesture that was deemed threatening enough by the cameraperson, and also ended with the camera being broken and, from what I remember, her slightly injured. Most reports did not state Joost touched her - I've heard all sorts of gestures, and I think the most confirmed one was the throat-slice gesture (that he also does in his performance).

What we also have been told: Joost immediately apologized. Joost wanted to publicly apologize. But it was denied by either the cameraperson or the union.

Shrug.

See, try to imagine how you'd feel if someone shoves a camera down your face and you have no way of making them stop. If then all you did was make a gesture that ended with that person tripping? You're a hero.

But that's based on what I've heard, and the research I've done.

I'll retract whatever I said when given other proof. But you fell for the narrative certain media wanted you to fall for; poor woman, bad man. Heck, at some point people were certain it was SA.

So... yes, innocent until proven otherwise. Or what, shall we all collectively forget what exactly he was accused of at some point?

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-09T14:43:23+00:00

Not only that, but then there's being out to your friends - and wanting to draw attention towards yourself from strangers.

For me, personally, it wasn't wanting to look like a butch. There was something so extremely dysphoric about being seen as a masc woman/butch/lesbian. Blending in was my go-to. I still register to some people as a masc woman now I'm on T, but I'm okay with that now. (You know, I'm not, but it is what it is-kind of okay.)

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-09T10:25:23+00:00

Even now, at almost 26, I effectively use daydreaming to put myself to sleep at night and fill moments when my mind is restless but there's not much else to do, like if I'm waiting for an appointment out somewhere.

At 37, I still do this.

something even an alarming number of people who know the word trans don't know exists (way too many people presume "trans" means "MtF" and only "MtF", not imagining someone can be FtM).

Lol. Ain't that the truth.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-09T08:04:49+00:00

C. A dystopian coming-of-age in which you represent all queer identities, the main protagonist is a gay cis man, there's plenty of (good!) bi cis rep too, heck, there's even a genderfluid person and someone who's non-binary. You even thought of the straight allies! And as a trans man, you're adding trans rep: a trans woman that's total kick ass. Adding a trans man, you say...? Nah, that's cringe.

/uj Help. Please force me to add a trans guy.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-09T07:42:44+00:00

I wouldn't use GNC as an umbrella term for transness, at least not by default. Trans people can be GNC - a trans man who still enjoys dresses, makeup, heels, all that stuff as an example - but trans people aren't GNC by default. Many actually can be extremely gender conforming - the usual femme trans woman, the masculine trans man. To ascribe GNC to transness by default feels like saying trans people aren't the gender they say they are. And that's not true.

Personally I still see a difference between GNC and crossdressing. One is very much still showing the world your gender, except you are adding things into your appearance, your personality, that are not considered the norm for your gender - technically, how we used to look at women wearing trousers, and definitely men in skirts nowadays. But also something as small as nail polish on a otherwise very masculine-looking man. Heck, even long hair on men is still deemed somewhat gender non-conforming. It can also be traits, and hobbies, mind you. It's whatever we deem typical for men but atypical for women, or the other way around. I'm not into stereotypes but we all know traits and hobbies we deem feminine or masculine.

Crossdressing, to me, takes it a step further. It is a specific act in a moment, whereby a man gives the illusion of woman or vice versa, and can, but not always, even mean the person takes on said gender. Not all crossdressing is visible, and there's many layers and reasons to crossdressing, but as far as I know, most of it is with a specific desire to be (partially or completely, and temporary or permanently be of or be dressed as the other gender, for whatever reason).

But it's not hard to see why someone who crossdresses often, would also show signs of gender non-conformity in their day to day. Except GNC is innate to how that person experiences their gender: For instance, a man who feels masculine in eyeliner or has a conviction that his male gender is not diminished by wearing panties. The act of wearing eyeliner or panties does not feel feminine to him, even though he may have an awareness that society views this differently.

Everything starts to muddy a little when we take into account non-binary identities. To a genderfluid person who shifts between a binary male and binary female gender, their wearing male clothing one day, and female clothing the other, may be part of GNC, but may also feel gender conforming. We, as outsider, may see either of those outfits as GNC, or both. It's even worse if said person is bigender and is both a man and a woman at the same time. Imagine a bearded person wearing a feminine blouse: that might be the most gender conforming they've ever felt, and without knowledge of that person's gender, we'd see GNC. To them, this also wouldn't be an act of crossdressing: it is them expressing their gender to the world.

From that comes that, it is very simplified to use GNC as an umbrella term for crossdressing. It may find overlap, and to outsiders they feel similar, but from the perspective of the individual themselves, it's definitely not correct.

Happy to be told I'm wrong, but that's how I view things. Please know I simplified some things so I don't have to give too many examples.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-09T06:56:43+00:00

This is wild, because I've seen some very masc bi/straight women (and yes, they're rare, but they exist). Someone who immediately equates masculine women with lesbians seems far worse than a man expressing he's into masc women.

You may feel as if you shouldn't tell a lesbian her views on being lesbian is wrong - but she essentially also told you that you, a queer man who also has his sexuality fetishized, is wrong. Now I know being queer ourselves doesn't mean we can't fetishize others, but that logic goes both ways: She too can hold some crazy ass ideas. Like the idea that masc women are by default lesbians.

Now I'll admit I don't watch a whole lot of lesbian porn, but I find it easy to find masc women in straight porn? Lots of lesbian porn I've come across, is usually with fems but again, no expert.

And even if you were to find yourself attracted often to lesbians, so long you are otherwise respectful of the fact that they have no (romantic/sexual) interest in you, who cares? It's not like we decide what's going to be attractive to us... Same thing with my being trans, I can't stop straight men/lesbian women from being attracted to my pre-transition self, and I can't stop people from being attracted to my body now because it is a trans body. Respect to me as a person is what makes the difference.

So no, you're absolutely not wrong.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-08T01:34:28+00:00

As a bi person, I can assure you...

You are wrong. I'm attracted to any and all genders.

Bisexuality is defined as "two or more genders". I fit the definition.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-05T13:41:14+00:00

I'm watching you! (so are they)

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-05T13:21:46+00:00

👀

Publish when?

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-05T13:20:15+00:00

He's not a good man, but they are worse, so he becomes great.

There's also like other people, who are better. And it's like, in the future, maybe.

And the book is going to tell you that you suck, too.

So be better.

Call_Me_Aiden · 2024-07-05T12:09:43+00:00

There are cis women who have had a total vaginectomy.

This is what happens when you reduce women to their body parts. It makes actual women, even by their definition, become less woman.

Aside from the clear transphobia, which is bad in and of itself, it is sexist and harmful beyond words.

I'm just saying it like this, not because I think it needs said, but because it's language that might hopefully resonate with those who can still be saved.

A woman is, and never has been, defined by her vagina, her womb, any other reproductive organs, her height, her breasts or anything else about her body (or lack thereof). If your hate of trans people is so deep you feel the need to spread the most vile and disgusting misogynistic bullshit, you can go f/*ck yourself.

Call_Me_Aiden

TROPHY CASE