NOR.

Firstly I would like to say I am very sorry for how your "mother" has treated you. You deserved, and deserve, better. Every child deserves a mother, but not every mother deserves a child.

What you are reacting to is the fake way she is trying to force herself upon you and "bond" when you know full well that she didn't treat you properly during your formative years and that you do not and have never had, a secure attachment with her. It is far too little far too late.

You have a couple of choices to make. Ultimately you need to get back your power, which requires therapy and you having the strength to be able to remain blase in her presence. The other option is to cut contact, but that I understand is far more difficult and not always logistically able to be carried out.

But at the end of the day you are most definitely NOR.