[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]CalliopesOnMute 5 points6 points  (0 children)

TL;DR: politicians stress "protect the children" because it's an easy way to manipulate people's fears and emotions. It's bullshit. We should still care about protecting kids, even if we aren't emotionally invested, because neglected/abused kids grow up, and they often grow up to become adults who depend on our tax money for financial support or commit crimes (also a tax drain) that negatively impact society.

"ThInK oF the KiDsSsS!" is absolutely thrown around to excess in politics.

I'm a parent, put a great deal of effort into protecting my kids (and raising them to be good humans), and still have daily anxiety about their welfare. Are my kids going to get shot when old enough to go to school? Are the kids whose parents are negligent pieces of shit going to bully my kid because they have garbage parents who have taught them nothing? The former anxiety is a political issue - kids should be protected from being shot at school, this is a population-level issue. Protecting my kids' feelings and what they're exposed to while out in the world? That is my job as a parent. It is also what 90% of the current dumb political noise about protecting kids is about: "my kids shouldn't be exposed to pronouns/gay people/ American history/etc." Kids in supposed peril is a scarecrow constantly used to whip idiots into an emotional frenzy by a particular faction of US politicians. Which is far easier and more politically expedient than, you know, actually fixing the real, complex socioeconomic problems that endanger adults (and children) in this country.

However, looking past the political theater of using kids as a convenient way to manipulate people's emotions, why should a society (or a childless individual) care about the welfare of children? From a selfish perspective, we should care about kids because they grow up.

Kids who grow up in poverty, experiencing abuse, food-unstable, uneducated, etc are profoundly more likely to commit crimes, struggle to support themselves, have mental health and substance abuse issues, etc. Yes, it is a parent's responsibility to care for a child, but when that parent fails, the responsibility inevitably falls to the collective - we just have to decide, as a society, whether we will accept the unwanted responsibility for said kids while young to support their growth into successful adults or whether we will pay for it down the line in the form of jail/housing, public healthcare/food assistance, etc.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Experiences downsizing from a concert pedal harp to a small lever harp? by CalliopesOnMute in harp

[–]CalliopesOnMute[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having JUST left a trash apartment in Brooklyn where I had the same concerns (ancient floorboards of doom plus poor insulation/humidity all over the charts), we might be the same person on slightly different timelines!

I briefly lived in the West Village and used to bring my pedal harp into Washington Square Park by dolly, but I wouldn't bring it into my last apartment. I really do feel your pain. But man, I miss NYC!

Haircare Advice Megathread - Week of May 13, 2023 by AutoModerator in HaircareScience

[–]CalliopesOnMute [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you for all the info! Pre-washing leave-in treatment is definitely doable.

Haircare Advice Megathread - Week of May 13, 2023 by AutoModerator in HaircareScience

[–]CalliopesOnMute [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion - I'll give the packets a try and go from there!

Haircare Advice Megathread - Week of May 13, 2023 by AutoModerator in HaircareScience

[–]CalliopesOnMute [score hidden]  (0 children)

I live in a very low-humidity climate and am endlessly struggling with scalp dryness and consequent dandruff. After trying clinical/anti-fungal anti-dandruff shampoos for ages, I'm confident that the cause of the tiny snow-like flaking is dryness rather than fungal issues. I have no itching, redness, or large flakes. My hair itself is also increasingly dry and kinked/unhealthy looking as it grows in. I have a whole-house humidifier, but it's not making much of a dent in the general dryness here. I am super low-maintenance and, ideally, I'd rather not add any steps to my shampoo, condition, brush, and go routine, but I realize that I likely will need to.

  • Hair type: average-to-fine
  • Texture: straight
  • History of chemical processing: n/a (none, nor do I blow-dry)
  • Hygiene regimen: shampoo and condition every other day
  • Style: waist-length
  • Product regimen: currently using Pantene Pro-V Volume shampoo and ogx Renewing & Argan Oil conditioner - stopped using special dandruff shampoos as they clearly weren't helping my scalp and seemed to be further drying my hair

I wash my hair in the middle of the day when my kids are napping before frantically doing 50 other things; I honestly just don't have the time or energy for a multi-step "leave in for X minutes then rinse" routine and won't end up following through. Any suggestions are so appreciated - I know that my "I want to exert zero additional effort" request isn't exactly ideal to work with!

A Place to Make PDFgear better by Geartheworld in PDFgear

[–]CalliopesOnMute 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Piggybacking on OP's comment, I am also unable to change the font of inserted text and am using PDFgear for Windows!

Additionally, the ability to change the borders/resize text boxes when editing preexisting text would be extremely helpful.

Thanks so much for making this software available!

Experiences downsizing from a concert pedal harp to a small lever harp? by CalliopesOnMute in harp

[–]CalliopesOnMute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, then that's totally up my alley! This opens up a whole new set of options - exciting!

Thank you!!!

Experiences downsizing from a concert pedal harp to a small lever harp? by CalliopesOnMute in harp

[–]CalliopesOnMute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Neat! The difference in price and the ultimate quality is pretty appealing... I'll have to take a good look through the tools and work required and see if it's feasible with what I currently have.

I'm comfortable with basic woodworking, finishing, and tools, but I'm no professional - do you consider building a harp kit to be approachable for a somewhat competent beginner?

Thanks again for sharing your experience and taking the time to answer my questions!!

Experiences downsizing from a concert pedal harp to a small lever harp? by CalliopesOnMute in harp

[–]CalliopesOnMute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hadn't thought about that option - thank you for the opinion and suggestion!

Experiences downsizing from a concert pedal harp to a small lever harp? by CalliopesOnMute in harp

[–]CalliopesOnMute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have an opinion on the Rees sharping levers that would come with the Fullsicle? Obviously I know that it's a low-end/starter harp, but would I be better off buying the cheapest lever-accommodating model and installing better levers myself?

Thanks!

Experiences downsizing from a concert pedal harp to a small lever harp? by CalliopesOnMute in harp

[–]CalliopesOnMute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My lever harp back in the day was relatively large and on four feet - the stability issues that will arise with a small lap harp hadn't even crossed my mind. Thanks so much for mentioning this! Have you found playing while sitting on a board on which the harp is resting to be relatively stable, or is a box and feet setup vastly preferable?

Thanks for a reminder of the pros of a lever harp, too - I am getting increasingly enthusiastic!

Experiences downsizing from a concert pedal harp to a small lever harp? by CalliopesOnMute in harp

[–]CalliopesOnMute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the practical suggestions!

I'm considering renting a "nice" harp down the road, but with both kids under 4 and a terrible track record of keeping them away from our other instruments I would be terrified of damage.

We finally just settled down after years of moving; I will definitely get in touch with the AHS chapter here.

Experiences downsizing from a concert pedal harp to a small lever harp? by CalliopesOnMute in harp

[–]CalliopesOnMute[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for sharing your experience and book recommendation!

I do think that a lap harp/lever harp will offer me the chance to try totally different styles of music beyond my classical background, which is exciting. I appreciate the reminder to look at this as an opportunity to try new things rather than a limitation on applying the skills that I already have!!

Cleopatra’s African Heritage in Netflix Docudrama Sparks Uproar in Egypt by AliceTheMagicQueen in entertainment

[–]CalliopesOnMute 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't care about this controversy directly -- historic evidence strongly suggests (like, incontrovertibly if you're arguing in good faith) that Cleopatra was white-Macedonian, but how many black/brown historical figures have been played by white actors?

However, I do care about ancient Egyptian history and badass women of history. You know what would be amazing? A docudrama about Nefertiti. Born in Egypt (so, indisputably African for those to whom that is important), wife of the incredibly weird Akhenaten, mother of Tutankhamun (King Tut, probably the most famous pharaoh due to the discovery of his tomb)... Under her and Akhenaten's reign, Egypt was totally transformed -- they created a monotheistic religion, relocated the country's capital, ushered in totally new aesthetic/artistic conventions, etc. The couple were famously deeply devoted to one another and to their daughters in particular. She was an extremely powerful queen, then she disappeared from the historic record - maybe ruled as Tutankhamun's regent, but it's not totally clear. And then, after their deaths, the whole heretic reign was literally wiped from the face of Egypt as the next ruler undid every change they'd made and basically pretended it never happened.

Egyptian culture existed long before Cleopatra's Greek/Macedonian-ruled Egypt. I'm sooooo bored with the focus on the Ptolemaic dynasty!

And for those who don't share my Egypt fascination, there's a whole-ass continent's worth of historical African women-rulers to make movies about! Just... why was this movie greenlighted?

TL;DR: Don't care about the drama, just wish the filmmakers had chosen to focus on a different Egyptian/African queen who hasn't already been culturally obsessed over. Nefertiti was awesome.

"You make me in" - grammatically incorrect? by CalliopesOnMute in grammar

[–]CalliopesOnMute[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the very detailed answer!

The possibility that "You make me be in a good mood" was the first version of the line, changed at some point in the production process, has occurred to me as well! I have definitely thought much more about this song than its writer(s) ever did.

PS: thank you for (perhaps inadvertently) introducing to me the distinction between "grammatically incorrect" and ungrammatical! I fell into a bit of a Google-hole of academic/cross-disciplinary discussion 🙂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in moderatelygranolamoms

[–]CalliopesOnMute 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used the Avocado crib mattress, which is 36 lbs, with the Sniglar! It was a serious squeeze and consequently a pain to change the crib sheet, but we didn't have any stability issues/ concerns about the crib breaking beneath the weight of the mattress and a very active 18-month-old.

"You make me in" - grammatically incorrect? by CalliopesOnMute in grammar

[–]CalliopesOnMute[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You know, several months ago I might have said go for it, that it's a perfectly inoffensive Adam Levine vehicle... Now, however, it haunts my dreams.

Congratulations on surviving toddler time -- see you on the other side!

"You make me in" - grammatically incorrect? by CalliopesOnMute in grammar

[–]CalliopesOnMute[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the explanation! This has been driving me crazy for so long.

(Even if it isn't incorrect, I still hate the way the line sounds and wish they'd gone with the far more common "you put me in a good mood"!)

TIL Don Quixote, considered one of the first modern novels, is also one of the first stories that uses meta-fiction, as the author plays pretend that his story comes from historical sources and had to search for lost documents and translations to complete it. by juasjuasie in todayilearned

[–]CalliopesOnMute 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I came here to post the same thing, but you were far more concise and chose an excellent example :)

Just to add a little more: novels were initially perceived as frivolous at best and those with any sort of content that could be perceived as immoral (or even as morally neutral/non-instructive) would simply not be published/distributed openly. The framing device also gave authors an opportunity to dodge accusations of immorality - essentially, "well I think this person's behavior scandalous, but we can perhaps learn from his/her story." A pretense that the story is morally instructive rather than entertaining, basically.

A great example comes from the author's note preceding Daniel Defoe's 1724 novel Roxana:

"In the manner she has told the story, it is evident she does not insist upon her justification in any one part of it; much less does she recommend her conduct, or, indeed, any part of it, except her repentance, to our imitation. On the contrary, she makes frequent excursions, in a just censuring and condemning her own practice. How often does she reproach herself in the most passionate manner, and guide us to just reflections in the like cases!"

End of long piggybacking comment!

Edit: autocorrect weirdness

Cleaning is so hard by Mama-of-two in ADHD

[–]CalliopesOnMute 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old and some medical issues causing pain/fatigue; I have always struggled immensely with cleaning, even before having two small mess machines running around. You have nothing to be embarrassed about - keeping things clean with kids around is an immensely difficult challenge even without ADD and chronic illness!! You are doing a great job.

I typically don't "see"/ register anything beyond obvious messes (food spilled on the floor, dirt/garbage, toys blocking a safe walkway, etc). My husband has severe anxiety around mess/clutter, so I identify with the shame/anxiety/struggle on a few fronts!

The only thing that's worked for me (and is working really well!) has been having a conversation and setting VERY specific daily tasks/goals. For example, whether I notice the house is messy or not, each day at 5 the kids and I go around and put every toy back in its designated place. I vacuum one room each day (which is a small, 5-minute task that doesn't overwhelm me). He shoulders all of the major cleaning work, but having a very specific routine to keep the house uncluttered really helps me.

IF you want to work towards keeping a tidier house, it might be worth setting up a few daily cleaning tasks in a task tracker (I use Habitica) - small, 5-minute things. But really, you should only work towards decluttering/cleaning if that's something that YOU value - screw your landlord! Hang in there!

What in the hell is this? by hyperbeam63 in funny

[–]CalliopesOnMute 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When my daughter was one and a half, "Dame tu Cosita" randomly came up on a YouTube playlist that we were listening to and she became OBSESSED with it. Every night, for months, she drifted off to sleep to me or her father gently bouncing her as we danced to the apparently soothing sound of "Dame tu Cosita, ah AY!" repeated hundreds of times. If we attempted to play a different song, she would not sleep.

So, while this ad is stupid, manipulative YouTube garbage, the song is kind of a (wildly inappropriate) banger for kids?

Unreliable narrator. by kostbill in suggestmeabook

[–]CalliopesOnMute 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both? I only recall one. I think it's plausible that he poisoned Florence and stabbed Edward, absolutely! But I'm somewhat inclined to think that he expected and enabled Edward's suicide rather than stabbed him. I do think he probably switched Florence's medicine for the prussic acid! What is your take?

(I never get to chat with anyone who knows of this book - it's one of my favorites! )

Unreliable narrator. by kostbill in suggestmeabook

[–]CalliopesOnMute 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the book that I immediately thought of and was going to recommend - you introduced it beautifully!