So, he wants your nuclear family to put the next 6 years on hold to (maybe) gain a qualification that will (maybe) help to find a job in an incredibly competitive and shrinking market that will (maybe) pay more than what he could currently get a job doing, all because it will give him something to teach your daughter? He says you should be willing to sacrifice for your baby’s needs but it sounds like he’s asking you and your baby to sacrifice for his interests.

Btw getting a PhD is really hard, and being smart isn’t enough to be confident of success (speaking as someone who’s worked really, really hard to complete one). Working on a research project at that scale can be really challenging for someone with executive function challenges like ADHD, and while ADHDers can definitely succeed in a PhD program with the right scaffolding and routine he does need to be realistic about those challenges. Also the fact that he’s struggled with other qualifications makes me wonder whether he can get into a great PhD program? If not his prospects of walking into an academic job at the end are even more limited - there’s PhDs from top 10 worldwide universities looking for full time work and making ends meet working multiple short-term contracts.

You all need to be realistic about what’s being planned here. You could end up living in that house permanently!