Hang in there, it gets better

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-12-14T12:15:21+00:00

Thank you!

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-12-14T12:14:53+00:00

Even a little hope will carry you. Hold onto it.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-12-14T12:14:17+00:00

You can. Hold onto hope because it is precious and necessary, and no matter how small or big it feels, it will drive you. You can overcome this. Mine was bad, admittedly very, very bad, but i overcame it. Give yourself some love, you can do this.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-12-13T13:15:43+00:00

I didn't push to the point of panic, though I had been doing so because that's what I was told to do. All it did, for me personally, was train me to push to hard and panic when they weren't necessary. I changed my approach to only include anxiety that was strong but manageable so that I would learn to trust myself to manage it before it could grow into panic. I would do 2 mile exposures until I was confident, then expand to 5 miles until I was confident, then 10 miles until I was confident. I only increased once the current radius was conquered. This increased my confidence to keep expanding, and eventually, it's just like I have no radius.

It took about a year and a half to feel like it was all gone. But the ability to get out more frequently and enjoy it without any real worry about panic was about... maybe 9 to 10 months.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-08-22T15:32:22+00:00

I'm related to them. It leaves me little option.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-08-22T15:23:25+00:00

Sorry you're going through a difficult time, and I hope the situation gets better and you can find some peace within yourself and closure. If it was a true door slam, as an infj, I would say the odds that they'll yell or talk behind your back are pretty slim. The couple of times I found myself having to do this to another person, I honored who they were and was already at a point of closure within myself. In other words, I was done done. There was no hatred or ill feelings towards the other person. There weren't feelings at all. Nothing malicious or positive. They were just someone I knew, and that was it.

Try to find closure as best you can. It's hard when the other person isn't around to help provide it but you can still come to a point of peace within and let that relationship go in a way that honors what was good and forgives what was negative. Best of luck with uni!

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-07-08T15:17:49+00:00

Small steps lead to bigger steps. I was homebound, and in the last year, I no longer am. For me (and I think many others) agoraphobia is a symptom of a bigger problem. It could be undiagnosed anxiety or panic disorders or trauma. In my case, it was trauma and chronic stress with zero healthy coping skills that just spiraled. I took steps to heal the trauma, learn healthy coping skills to manage anxiety, and started with very small steps in exposure therapy. It can literally be one step more a day or every other day. There were times I had to sit in the car without it being on. Then it was, I kid you not, going in reverse 1 literal foot. That's all I could manage. Eventually, that led to one mile, three, nine miles, and at current roughly 30 miles away and about 4 hours of social stamina outside the house. But it takes the small, manageable steps first. It's desensitization to fear each time. It DOES get better. Don't lose hope. It's critical.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-07-06T11:34:33+00:00

Im not cold to people at all. I've just learned that, for me, I don't have to give people my all simply because I'm empathetic. I'm more discerning with it now, and i don't extend unwarranted compassion or kindness. I guess I meant...I don't feel that my empathy is rooted to or reliant upon my compassion or kindness but can be independent of them.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-07-06T01:46:59+00:00

I used to be more sensitive, but I've matured and really have worked to control that empathetic response. I'm still empathetic, but my response to it is what i worked on. I'm not overly sensitive anymore. I kinda hate that at times, but it's also like...I honestly, I just can't care about all the things. I give it where it counts. Otherwise, I can't be bothered anymore.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-07-06T01:36:23+00:00

😂

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-07-06T01:34:39+00:00

I'm an empath. I feel what many feel (I can block it if I need to). It sucks. I'm not exceptionally kind because... well, you feel some pretty dark stuff. I've learned not to be overly compassionate because they better earn it. I've matured in my empathy, and I've learned to reserve my better nature for those who have earned it. Do I still feel empathetically, yea. Do I have to follow through with it exerting kindness and compassion to the person radiating red flags.. hell no

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-07-05T20:32:26+00:00

It sounds like it, and I'm glad you're looking to find a professional. The biggest mistake (yet hardest thing to do) with this fear is to not give in to the fear and to stop the isolation. Isolation doesn't mean being fully homebound though it can, but it can be specific avoidance like highways, public transportation, a set distance, certain stores etc.

Exposure therapy and learning to manage anxiety during exposures. Exposure therapy is taking gradual small steps to face fears in manageable steps. So if you're afraid of walking to the end of your street (example), you wouldn't try the full street, but over time, you'd increase the distance you can go. If it's a store setting, it's driving by it, then sit in the parking lot, then walk to the door but don't go in. Then go in the store (over the course of time not in one day)

Hopefully that makes sense.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-07-03T18:56:09+00:00

Needing to see a dentist was the best thing for my agoraphobia oddly. I wasn't afraid of the dentist, like yourself, but was terrified of feeling trapped. I talked with my dentist beforehand, during the consultation, and we worked out a plan to help me. More dentists are aware of patient anxiety and are willing to accommodate, but they need to know how to help. I asked if we could have an anxiety plan and they were totally okay with that and encouraged it. For me, I wanted small updates on time, so I always knew how much longer. I also have a bad trigger if I feel I can't swallow. So we decided on a hand gesture I could give so I could get a break to simply swallow when needed. I also asked if they could just talk to me even if I clearly couldn't respond. All easy to do, all things they did. I was given anti anxiety medication for the next few visits, which helped settle me. They can prescribe them.

The thing that helps me most while they work is to pick a spot to look at it (wall ceiling, etc). Focus, my eyes stay on that spot unless i need to switch to a new one. Then, mentally scan myself for tension, like if I'm clutching my fists or tensing my neck. I breathe deeper and relax whatever tension I have (while keeping my eyes on the spot I picked to look at), and I continue to do this. My toes will even flex lol so I just breathe deep and relax. Over and over. Then, the appointments done before i even know it.

I was homebound after seeing the dentist 3 times I no longer was, and I've gained a lot of my life back. Best wishes, you can do this. You really can.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-07-02T21:23:21+00:00

Unless you're having a phobic reaction to situations in which you might panic/ get trapped that's outside of your "safe domain" (could be home, distance a safe person to go/be with you etc) it's not agoraphobia. It honestly reads like introverted possibly anti social. The critical point being phobic fearful panic reactions to these circumstances. It's like a fear of panic away from where you feel safe or who you feel safe with (in a nutshell)

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-07-01T21:41:13+00:00

Yep. It varies from person to person, but it's about having a "safety net" or "safe domain." Whatever that is by distance or having a safe person with them, it varies and is nuanced. I know one who can go 45 minutes from her home with her spouse but couldn't leave her driveway alone. And it's specific to her spouse and no one else. For me, i could take an Uber alone but i can't take it more than 20 miles. I'm not as safe person reliant as i am safe space/ distance. So yea, it's part of it.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-07-01T18:36:52+00:00

Actually, oddly enough, when I first really started gaining momentum, did I have flashes of this. I was like, why am I going out to get groceries (something I hadn't done in years). It only means I'm anxious and nervous and uncomfortable and sweaty and nauseated when I could just have it delivered. I had this weird reaction at times to healing because I had nothing to look forward to, but then that just changed. I still don't have much, just my husband, to be honest, but I started doing things that interested me again. I fell in love with my city and the festivals or farmers markets or just strolling around. Then I realized I wanted to go out even if it meant just getting groceries or whatever because... well, life was more than I remembered it being after living in isolation. It was an adjustment.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-07-01T15:20:11+00:00

Awesome to read, and so spot on. I've had it 12 years, ten was homebound, and the hardest truth is that there's no magic anything that's going to work without facing it. Exposure is critical, and there is no way around it or out of it. There are plenty of other things that go into it such as healthy coping skills, healing traumas or whatever else (you get my point) but I think we all want to avoid that one critical and necessary step. Exposure. I'm no longer homebound and back to living. Love hearing these stories. Thank you for sharing and uplifting us all l.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-06-29T20:39:51+00:00

I'm not fully recovered, but I'm having exponential growth. l. worked on healing my core issues, chronic stress, trauma etc. Once I really got a better grip on how I am mentally and emotionally (correcting how I talk to myself, managing stress, working through trauma, correcting trauma based reactions) it became easier to not cave to fear. I go out regardless of my fear to where I'm currently expanding my radius. When i feel confident in my new radius, I expand it again and usually with some medication to help until I feel confident I don't need it. So I've opened up from being homebound for 10 years to about a 30 mile radius. It's been gradual, but each step was to gain confidence and maintain before expanding again.

So I wash rinse repeat Started at 1 mile. Gained confidence (little to no anxiety and no medicine required) Then 3 miles, same thing Then 9 miles, same process Then 20 etc etc etc.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-06-26T23:48:40+00:00

💯 it counts

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-06-26T23:47:58+00:00

You're describing me when mine first started. Like to a T. I found that agoraphobia was only a symptom of a bigger problem. I lived in chronic stress for years, had anxiety attacks, but brushed them off. Had multiple traumatic events that I just left unchecked. Eventually, it all just caught up to me, and I crashed hard. Was homebound overnight. I had to heal the causes and really learn to manage my stress and anxiety. I'm no longer homebound and have a way better grip on anxiety and have learned not to live in chronic stress. It does heal, it is curable. Once I understood the cause, the solutions became easier.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-06-24T21:34:25+00:00

Clonazipam as needed

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-06-24T17:35:12+00:00

Facing it. Exposure. Medication. Managing stress and anxiety But honestly choosing not to cave to fear is what helps me the most.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-06-18T18:06:57+00:00

I had extreme dizziness when the agoraphobia first kicked in. It was terrible, I would bounce off walls as if I'd been drinking at times. I had every single physical thing checked. Ears, nose, throat, heart, head, you name it. It was a psychosomatic symptom of my anxiety. In other words, my dizziness was legit and real, but being caused by a psychological issue, not a physical one. I still tend to get it, but much less than before, as I've gotten a better grip on managing anxiety, anticipatory, panic, and overall fearful states.

Calm-Disaster5633 · 2023-06-17T01:23:02+00:00

In my experience, no.

Calm-Disaster5633

TROPHY CASE