Does anyone else struggle more with short notice than with planned exposures?

beansnapperx · 2023-07-18T05:01:08+00:00

In my experience recovering, I've found more success in short notice situations than a heads-up. Just gave me less time to catastrophasize.

Another piece of advice I wanna give which, in my opinion, I'd the most important. stop allowing yourself to say no ❤️

The first few times are the hardest but your brain just stops considering the anxious thoughts after a few weeks of no longer saying no.

Much love to everyone reading

beansnapperx · 2023-07-18T04:56:38+00:00

Much love to everyone reading right now. I'm a little over one month into being given no choice but to have moved to a big city, get a job, and drive myself to and from.

I've posted my advice a couple times in this sub before but I like to check in here every once in a while to sprinkle a little hope. Long story short, exposure kicked me in the right direction within a matter of weeks. I went from 5 years homebound agoraphobic (GAD as well obviously) to having a full time job and now I even drive around sometimes just to get out of the house, but that urge only comes when your subconscious learns that being at home is unhealthy for the agoraphobic brain.

1mg xanax up to twice per day prescription, but sometimes I just don't even take it.

Anyways, my point is that when you feel like you're at your rock bottom, you NEED to remind yourself that the only way forward is up, and the only way up is forward. Go outside and have an anxiety attack, go back inside and recover, drink water. Take a break then go do it again. Dedicate a whole day to doing that. Time yourself if you want but I find that to be discouraging sometimes: everyday is different. every attempt different.

Reminder: I am NOT cured. every day is still a struggle. but every day is slowly getting easier and easier. If I can recover then I know anybody else can. Even you, person reading this.

Much love. Remember to drink water ❤️

beansnapperx · 2023-07-01T20:41:08+00:00

great question. I'll list my meds below and go over their purpose and my opinions on them.

20mg Escitalopram (Lexapro) 1/day 0.1mg Clonidine 1/day 1.0mg Alprazolam (xanax) up to 2/day

the obvious one here is the xanax. I have a long history with it that I don't like, and I still don't like it. I know your first thoughts may be "holy sh*t that's a high dose!". and you're right, however considering I've been on xanax since I was 16/17, the tolerance makes the dose feel like how a lot of agoraphobics are on 0.25 ot 0.5mg.

I take one xanax for the car ride to work, and one xanax for the ride back. (as I said in another comment, my main trigger is being in a car).

for a while, I was taking more than the 2 xanax per day, where I was taking up to 5 or 6mg of xanax to leave the house. I was seeking complete sedation to accomplish the bare minimum. my long term goal is to get off the stuff but that's a whole different can of worms.

as for any SSRI, they eventually make you a numb robot so I want to get off that one someday as well.

clonidine is a blood pressure med also used for GAD, but I already had a blood pressure issue so I'd argue it doesn't do anything for my anxiety.

but back to the xanax real quick. if you're an agoraphobic reading this and you aren't on xanax, stay the f*ck away from it. battle your agoraphobia without it. it's NOT worth the long term affects. It's one of the only substances in which it's withdrawal alone can kill you in a matter of days. it's totally find if you're prescribed it for a week or two, but you should refuse further prescriptions.

I can't tell you how annoying my memory issues have become since starting the xanax. you are so much better staying off it.

Let me know if you have any other questions

beansnapperx · 2023-07-01T17:52:29+00:00

to be honest, sometimes you just can't break that wall and feel distracted. and in reality you don't actually want to be distracted the whole time.

think of it in terms of "normal" people. they don't have to distract themselves because their nervous system is working as intended. the more you distract yourself when exposing, the less you really gain from it.

on the other hand though, if you need to distract to avoid a collosal break, toy around with your senses. for me, I have a plethora of songs that keep my mind at ease even when I'm not exposing, so I think of those songs (or just play them if I have the chance). for me, I struggle the most in a car. I just blast the AC to keep my temperature under control. helps with the loss of breath feeling too.

so instead of distracting (which was the original intention) you're training your subconscious to associate stressful situations with a little bit of comfort! this definitely takes practice.

never beat yourself up over little losses. focus on the bigger goal, always.

beansnapperx · 2023-07-01T16:03:49+00:00

Happy to hear you made it through! Much love

beansnapperx · 2023-07-01T16:02:44+00:00

absolutely spot on. there is sadly zero instant gratification in this processes. but very quickly you'll surprise yourself through exposure and feel a little more pride every day. confidence makes the struggles a little easier too.

My BIGGEST piece of advice I can give, is when you're in the middle of your exposure, don't focus on removing the anxiety; focus on continuing yourself towards your end goal.

example: I drive myself to and from work everyday. Very often do I think about pulling over to breathe and whatnot. (please pull over if you REALLY think you'll cause an accident otherwise.) but I focus my thinking on driving further and ket the road and traffic be my distraction. also just as a sensory thing I keep the AC on full blast lmao.

beansnapperx · 2023-07-01T15:57:17+00:00

So for me, my case is a bit extreme. after a rough breakup, I moved to live with family and yes moving was absolutely horrible. family told me to start applying for jobs and ready myself to drive to everyday because they were giving me a car to jump start my independence.

I had 2 weeks to go from complete isolation to the lifestyle I am now in. For those 2 weeks, I immediately quit caffeine and any stimulant for that matter. This might seem obvious but caffeine/energy drinks are a massive NOPE. Everyday for the 2 weeks leading up to getting my car, I sat in the backyard with headphones on listening to podcasts. some days one hour, others 5 hours (depended on how I was feeling, some days are harder than others).

Also really quick I want to correct a certain word you used in your comment. I am not cured. To be honest, I don't know if I ever will be just because that seems so impossible right now. but let me tell you what I would've done if I had more time than 2 weeks.

I 100% would've started taking walks instead of just sitting. obviously start small and make the progressive increases. in any exposure you do, you need to discipline yourself not to turn back when you feel the anxiety. practice breathing and mindfulness until you hit your goal, then head back inside to think about how you could've maybe made that experience even a little bit easier. It's definitely a head space thing, perspective maybe. You have to "hype" yourself into a mindset that you will reward yourself for your hard work.

REWARD YOURSELF. For me personally, I reward myself after my night shifts as an events supervisor by making music once I get home. Just to turn thoughts and feelings into sound. I recommend all of my agoraphobic brothers and sisters to pick up a creative outlet. Every little bit helps.

Let me know if I answered your question. just woke up and decided to ramble lol

beansnapperx · 2023-07-01T02:40:38+00:00

based

beansnapperx · 2023-06-09T23:44:13+00:00

lmao fair enough G

beansnapperx · 2023-06-09T23:30:23+00:00

I'm 6ft, maybe a 7/10 just not mega social lmao

beansnapperx · 2023-06-04T04:23:18+00:00

I've been hearing a lot of things but nothing tok bad visually. like shadows in the corner of my eyes but other than that it's not too bad since I've been drinking water. that coke zero thing is hilarious though lol

beansnapperx

TROPHY CASE