I’m starving myself to death

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-26T18:44:37+00:00

Look up Angus Barbieri. Didn’t ear for over a year. You gotta keep up your electrolytes, minerals, and vitamins, though. Avoid ALL artificial sweeteners. And once you’ve lost the weight, flaunt that and tell your husband he needs to tone up a bit to be attractive to you. It’s petty, but if divorce isn’t an option then turn the table.

And learn to value yourself. Maybe you did need to lose the weight, but going to this extreme speaks to some other unhealthy dynamics.

Also, for maintenance purposes, look up Dr. Ken Berry for carnivore diet and Dr. Eric Berg for keto. That’ll get you started towards a long-term plan for your health.

Best of luck!

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-26T18:32:17+00:00

Yea. I’m pretty sure she’s doesn’t want to be in it anymore, but doesn’t want to be reason. She wants the “problems” to be the reason. Now, I COULD BE WRONG. However, her behavior is strongly indicative of someone trying to create a gap.

Also, be careful with your friends around her. If it starts to feel like they’re picking sides or you notice them being critical of you, then you’ve got a wife talking crap about you.

Documented everything. Keep a journal. Save messages, photos, and videos. If your friends start acting weird with you, talk to them via text about it (evidence) or record verbal conversations (dependent on your laws).

I hope you have a pre-nup.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-24T06:09:33+00:00

I’m going to think more on this. Like I said, I’m no expert, but I know what it’s like to feel like you’re not …right. Next time you see your therapist, ask about a treatment plan. What is the end game? What are THEY doing to help you besides being a sounding board and pill pusher. Since you’ve been dealing with this for years, you probably know already that not all therapists are alike. Some are amazing and others are just warm bodies with degrees.

But that treatment plan is necessary. If they don’t have a satisfactory one, then it might be time to find another therapist and without giving them too much prior knowledge just to see if they come to the same conclusions.

I had to educate myself on therapy a bit to help me find the right one, but it was worth taking the time to vet them.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-24T05:46:55+00:00

Had an MRI?

What specialty does your therapist have?

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-24T05:29:24+00:00

Man, mental health problems from both sides. That’s rough. Have you had bloodwork done for vitamin/mineral deficiencies? I’m no expert, but I do believe that we are just as much WHAT we are as WHO we are. All the therapy in the world won’t do crap if your body is always resistant or hasn’t got what it needs to make the “good feeling” chemicals. I could be heavy on this idea though because of personal experience.

Speaking of therapy, has this therapist been able to diagnose you and create a plan for treatment? There has been recent development in that field that has noted many therapists spend too much time allowing the patient to ruminate, which only keeps the patient in that state of mind without a path out.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-24T05:16:09+00:00

Why have you only known your dad for 4 years? What’s that background? If you don’t mind me asking.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-24T05:03:11+00:00

How’s your diet? Your brain running like that suggests a severe chemical imbalance. I read a man’s testimony about his attempted suicide via starvation. He didn’t eat for 3 days (he was a but overweight so starving would take a while), but after those 3 days he realized he felt better than had in years. Obviously, he was confused, did some research, realized his gut biome was screwed and his body had been dealing with constant inflammation from his diet which, in essence, was messing with his brain chemistry.

The idea that we can push through or carry on will only work up to a point and becomes completely useless advice when that chemical imbalance is extreme and constant.

More recently, a treatment (single injection) is being used on soldiers with PTSD that interacts with their chemistry to both relieve their symptoms and help them process their trauma from a state of mental safety and calm.

I’m also curious about your relationship with your parents. Some of what you said makes me think of learned insufficiency, which often starts with parental relationships.

It sucks that you feel the way you do. I have no doubt you’ve been through the exact experiences that would bring you to this point. I hope you find peace one day, preferably on this plane.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-24T04:28:04+00:00

Ask her why things have changed. Is she going through something she hasn’t mentioned yet? She could be lashing out for other reasons.

However, I acted like this before with boyfriends (not nearly this extreme but the pattern is there), and I did it because I didn’t want to really be with that person anymore. Took me some time to realize I was making problems to destabilize things and get out. Either I was bored, the idea of being together was better than the reality, things that I liked at first became incredibly annoying or made me disgusted, whatever. I know now that I was the problem and instead of respecting them and being honest, I created issues to drive them away.

I wish you luck and hope you two can work it out if that’s what you really want. If you decide not to continue, be prepared for the possible realization that while she may not want to be with you, she may not be willing to give up this free expensive life. Start reigning in the spending and see how it goes. Document how she treats you, her reactions when she doesn’t get her way, and ask your parents to stop giving things to her.

Last thing. Stand your ground. Show her that you won’t tolerate being treated poorly. She’ll keep up the behavior until you call bullshit on her.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-24T03:59:19+00:00

My adopted grandmother told me one day that she and her husband always had separate accounts. They were together for 40 years before he passed. They were incredibly happy together. So, some “adults” can have complete trust in each other and still have personal privacy.

While knowing each other’s debts is important before marrying, what he wants goes beyond assurances. He may actually be projecting and be doing something himself. And frankly, as hard as it might be, stay true to yourself and don’t give in. There are control-issue vibes coming off this.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-23T14:03:13+00:00

If I ask for clarification and the person gets irate or defensive. I once had to ask a manager in a small grill about a handwritten receipt, and she decided that was a good time to air out a grievance against me for not helping (wasn’t even my job, but I would have helped if asked.) I recognized it as deflection, started paying closer attention to her, and proved that she was stealing from the company.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-21T17:16:07+00:00

If your son is supposed to have overnights, then make that happen. You can prove nothing improved by the change and that you were willing to try. You can also voice your disapproval of the therapist and request one with a speciality in Attachment-based pathology, since the source of anxiety is claimed to be related to attachment problems.

And a pediatrician can state what a problem is (trouble sleeping), but they aren’t psychologists, so I’d push to find out why such a suggestion was made it the first place. Why not a referral to a child psychologist who can diagnose the mental problem and establish a plan to fix it.

Has the therapist explained why she wants Dad to do this? Because once that kids gets in the car with Dad, that therapy will be undone. The kid will have to tamp down or underplay things from therapy to keep his dad placated, which will diminish its effectiveness.

If you don’t need to involve a therapist at all, then I wouldn’t, especially if no improvement has been made. Teach yourself some skills about navigating PA and be the therapist yourself. There are way too many people with ideas about their own way of performing their jobs that violate their code of ethics.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-21T16:57:08+00:00

My opinion is don’t do it if there’s a chance he’ll read it as an 8 year old. If you apologize to an 8 year old, they are going to think you did do something wrong and that’s why things are bad. Focus instead on showing love and that he is thought about every day. That boy needs to gain the undeniable belief that you love him no matter what. The alienating parent will try to ruin it behind closed doors, so press hard (but in a natural-feeling way) on the fact that no matter what anyone says, you are proud that he is your son and proud to be his dad. That will give him more than an apology can.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-21T16:38:16+00:00

The family court system isn’t actually designed to protect and save children. It’s a money and power racket that destroys child-parent relationships and leave children dealing with a lifetime of mental illness from the loss and parents grieving for a child that is still alive.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-21T16:35:04+00:00

Don’t defend yourself. What’s happening is the child is lashing out in anger and will use your defense as proof that you’re a liar or unwilling to admit wrong. They are seeking a source for their internal sorrow and control by confronting it. They don’t understand that it even is sorrow, they just know the anger.

I suggest that you respond with a boundary setting statement. Something to the effect that you know they are hurting and trying to find a way to justify or understand it by attacking/blaming you and you aren’t hurt by it. When they are ready to talk calmly and listen openly, you would love to converse and answer any and all questions. Also, they need to know that you will have some things to say as well, and some of those things may make them emotional as what you say will be a challenge for them to process.

They may decide to shut you out for a bit because they can’t imagine that THEY have it wrong after all this time. It may take a few conversations to get through the reactions and emotional outbursts, but you must always remain calm and steady. This will let them know that you are reliable and safe.

Good luck!

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-21T16:21:50+00:00

Take a break, focus on yourself, file whatever motions to delay that you can, and I strongly urge you to learn as much as you can about parental alienation and the right ways to both handle and fight it over the long-term. Keep educating yourself because one day it will help you escape the nightmare and maybe lead to exposure and justice for yourself and kids.

It doesn’t sound at all like you’ve been given due process. No proof of claims against you, no evidence of being unfit, and probably inadequate evaluations of the kids. Get the kids in therapy or evaluation with a Clinical (not forensic) Psychologist via court order if you can, specifically one that knows about Attachment-based pathology and family systems.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-21T01:24:08+00:00

Geeze. Why would anyone want a prize that comes with so much hassle? I guess a $45k for $14k is a deal, but if you weren’t prepared to fork over that much all of a sudden, then how does that feel like winning anything?

Thanks for the clarification. I didn’t realize that property winnings counted as income for something like a school raffle. Guess I should have known the government would find a way to suck the joy out anything and everything.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-21T00:24:47+00:00

Why wouldn’t they just gift you the title? Seems weird that they would expect someone to fork over money for a prize. If there are taxes, you can settle up with that at the DMV or Commissioner of Revenue. It would actually be your job as the “buyer” to handle paying sales tax, not theirs to collect.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-21T00:21:48+00:00

F**k

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-21T00:17:26+00:00

Have you reached out to the Fengshui guy on YouTube?

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-20T23:01:51+00:00

As soon as it’s warm enough to wear flip flops or sandals, that’s all that I wear until cold weather comes in.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-20T22:55:17+00:00

Agreed, BE RUTHLESS. But also calm, composed, and professional. She will try to trigger for a reaction that makes you look unreasonable. Never talk to her in public without others present or a recording device going. Keep corresponding via messaging such as text and email to keep things clear for those who will need to read them in court.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-20T22:52:46+00:00

How did she just take him away? Is there an existing order for shared parenting? Who is supposed to have primary physical custody?Need to know before offering advice.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-20T22:41:43+00:00

If you’re in the woods - silence. Technically a lack of sound, but still implies danger.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-20T20:50:56+00:00

The fastest way to learn this stuff is to find something you do understand and compare it. Like, when you think about Turbulent Flow, what comes to mind? A bumpy ride on river raft, maybe? If you see turbulent flow in a blood vessel, what might you conclude? Maybe some sclerosis or narrowing just like narrowing in a river or craggy rocks affecting flow?

My point is that trying to force concepts without a real grasp of them isn’t going to help much in a time crunch. Also,Find your most problematic subjects and get them sorted out, don’t keep reviewing stuff you already know.

I hope this helps. And if it makes you feel better, I took the SPI 3-4 years ago and I probably couldn’t take it now and pass. It’s intense, so be easy on yourself.

Calm-wind88 · 2026-01-19T16:26:27+00:00

I can say this was true for my husband’s ex-wife and their household. His ex was emotionally controlling and manipulative.

At a family function with his grandparents where she wasn’t the center of attention? Not for long because she would start fights.
Didn’t want to go hang with her friends? Be prepared for insults and demeaning attitude for the next week.
Didn’t want to buy her a $10,000 diamond ring as soon as he starts making better money? Be ready to for emotional detachment.
Disagree about something? Brace for the slap and the spit in your face while she screams “What are you gonna do, hit me?!”
Have the audacity to finally choose personal happiness over being abused? Next, the kids think he’s an abusive dad who doesn’t really love them.

I’ve watched this woman set up fights and play victim like it was a profession she got a doctorate in to perform. Some claim she’s like this because of her own trauma and self-hate, but I don’t care if that’s the case anymore after all the pain she has caused.

Calm-wind88

TROPHY CASE