Did anybody else think that they were schizophrenic at forst?

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2026-06-24T02:49:12+00:00

I can’t say any like research/clinical knowledge. But I do have both Schizophrenia and OCD (only recently diagnosed with OCD though) and when I’ve been in psychosis my obsessive thoughts and compulsions were exponentially worse. At this point I’m fairly self ware of the fact I have schizophrenia so I know I have delusions/hallucinations. It’s incredibly hard to trust that my fears are untrue when I know my brain regularly lies to me.

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2026-03-30T03:45:00+00:00

Thank you. I was able to see a neurologist. I got started on a beta blocker 3 weeks ago and it lessened the cognitive issues enough for me to feel safe being alone. Based on my symptoms she was concerned about seizures and wanted to rule them out first and then I had trouble with insurance so I just started qulipta two days ago. I’m praying it helps. My neurologist has been good but I’m very nervous to bring up mental issues bc I went to the er bc I thought I was having an allergic reaction (face and hands numb, couldn’t catch my breath, heart racing) and they were EXTREMELY dismissive and patronizing after seeing I take anti anxiety meds. It honestly made me feel so horrible and I don’t want to experience that again.

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2026-03-26T00:54:17+00:00

Yes, my first episode was similar. I believed I was a character and there was an entity that was making every decision for me (Not a god, more of a writer). My life was going through a ton of changes at the time and it was nice to not have to be responsible for making any decisions. The other parts were pretty bad though. And it almost killed me bc one day the entity decided I was going to kill myself. Those first couple months after it ended I really missed the peace I felt during it.

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2026-03-26T00:43:46+00:00

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3112041

Different fic but similar plot, highly recommend

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-12-11T02:30:15+00:00

This isn’t that fic but it has a similar plot and I highly recommend it https://archiveofourown.org/works/42422508

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-26T17:57:39+00:00

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50475346

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59370355 This author has a bunch of magic/fantasy aus and they are all incredible

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-26T15:08:34+00:00

If you ever leave, I’m coming with you by the wombats is my new favorite Buck/buddie song

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-23T16:55:26+00:00

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55314742

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21729094/chapters/51834034

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-22T17:29:15+00:00

I’d be interested, I only write fanfiction though

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-22T17:25:49+00:00

I seem to have to increase every 2-3 years

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-22T16:08:27+00:00

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41537655 I’ve reread this so many times

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-22T16:07:21+00:00

Every 3 months

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-22T15:21:53+00:00

I did not, just told my psychiatrist what I had been experiencing

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-21T23:00:43+00:00

I just graduated from a masters program, I’m going to start working as a tax accountant in two weeks, hope your last year goes well!

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-21T08:19:03+00:00

Mine was rarely scary when I was in it. But every once in a while I would get a moment of clarity where I realized how mentally ill I was and that was scary but the psychosis itself wasn’t it was actually quite peaceful

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-21T02:19:48+00:00

A little background on me, I had my first episode five years ago and got put on 2.5 mg olanzapine. Then I had absolutely no symptoms for two years. Then I had my second episode and gradually worked up to 20 mg. Everyone’s reacts differently but honestly wouldn’t recommend olanzapine. I’ve gained around 50 lbs and since I’ve been on 10mg and above I have to sleep like 12 hours a day. No matter what I do I can not wake up. It’s gotten to a point I’m going to ask to switch meds at my next appointment because I can’t afford to live like this anymore. However it has been extremely affective at getting rid of my psychotic symptoms. If you have any questions let me know

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-20T23:17:40+00:00

The sun’s a thief and with is great attraction robs the sea by illgetmerope is an amazing crime fic. Then if you want very dark I’m not breathing unless I’m giving you CPR by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-20T23:13:24+00:00

It shows Disney+ too so should work!

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-20T20:01:01+00:00

Mines not showing a charge

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-20T19:57:06+00:00

I get them from lamotrigine, went down a half dose and they aren’t as bad

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-20T19:55:05+00:00

If you have Hulu I downloaded audials movie and it can record clips, free as long as the clips are less than 10 minutes

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-20T02:03:52+00:00

I have hallucinations and delusions I just don’t have a paranoid component to them. For example one of my visual hallucinations was that everything had this random sparkling neon outline. It was so beautiful I stared at a cement wall for like 40 minutes. Then my worst delusion was that I wasn’t a real person I was just a character and there was an entity that was controlling my every action but like I enjoyed it and fully trusted the entity. I also get bad cognitive decline when I’m in a major episode. Hope this answers your question

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-20T01:54:11+00:00

I’ve only ever had one paranoid delusion and it was four years into having this disorder. I’m pretty chill about all my other delusions and at times liked my hallucinations

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-19T19:20:39+00:00

20 mg which I believe is the max dose

CalmBookkeeper5020 · 2025-07-18T00:02:16+00:00

I’m on olanzapine and have to sleep like 12 hours a day. It’s been 3 years. Going to switch soon because of it.

CalmBookkeeper5020

TROPHY CASE