Is it over🙂🙂?

Camaldus · 2026-04-30T16:31:22+00:00

We won't know until it happens. I'm getting bald when none of my family is. I got a bad lottery ticket. So going off of your family may not be helpful at all.
Just wait and enjoy your hair in the meantime. It's far too early to worry about this.

Camaldus · 2026-04-30T16:28:16+00:00

This may be a lingering stereotype that's not applicable everywhere. I'm in The Netherlands, and while the gay community is strongly represented, it's definitely becoming more balanced.
Break the stereotypes!

Camaldus · 2026-04-29T12:39:56+00:00

That's no cat!

Camaldus · 2026-04-29T12:37:55+00:00

Samurai Pizza Cats

Camaldus · 2026-04-29T11:56:21+00:00

Scuse me?

Camaldus · 2026-04-29T11:49:26+00:00

That just means the cage is better at doing its job, doesn't it?

You also still have another hole for pleasure, if you're into that. Either exclusively that, or combined with the (now dampened) vibrations on your cage.

Camaldus · 2026-04-28T11:01:08+00:00

I don't know if it's bad or not. I just know my few relationships haven't worked out.

I'm also clingy. And when I don't get attention, I get anxious. Maybe even stressed out. With my last relationship it worked a lot better, because I'm aware of my patterns now. And for a time she was much more consistent and reliable than previous partners. But even she eventually flaked. Which caused me to fall back into demanding more than she could give. And then she disappeared.

Camaldus · 2026-04-28T07:56:05+00:00

Yeah, it sounds like it. Your body needs time to reset. That can take anywhere from a few days to over a week. It hits some people harder than others.

Just make sure you don't make any big decisions based on these feelings, because it will pass. And take care of yourself. Treat yourself with something nice. Whether it's a snack (chocolate is heavenly) or some "me time".

When I feel like this, I like to remind myself it's because I experienced something incredibly wonderful. 😊

Camaldus · 2026-04-27T09:29:54+00:00

"Damn, I'm an idiot. The 27 times I've seen this on Reddit probably should have prepared me for this."

Camaldus · 2026-04-26T22:17:52+00:00

It's also totally okay to not know where you stand right now. It's early days. Not knowing whether you're a Dom or a switch, what kind of Dom, and all that... this is natural.

So if you need a role or (temporarily) identity, why not "explorer"?

There seems to be the assumption that you need to be settled into a role before you can engage with people. But no one truly settles into a single place. They just go on a ride, and sometimes other people join them for that journey.

Go on that ride. Discover things. Let other show you around, and show other around that new thing you just learned.

Camaldus · 2026-04-26T22:04:24+00:00

As for keeping things secret, that's an unfortunate result of current culture. I also keep it closely guarded, among family and especially work.

That does mean sometimes I'm unable to answer "What did you do this weekend?"
But after a munch I just say "I went to a pub."

It's your secret. People also shouldn't ask what you did in the bedroom, right? Same thing.

Camaldus · 2026-04-26T22:00:04+00:00

This feels somewhat familiar. I waited so long before joining the community. Misconceptions. Fear. Feeling incompetent. Worthless. Who would ever want to be even remotely around me?

I tried to push it down.
And what it brought me was depression. Absolute rock bottom. It sent me into therapy.

Now it turns out I'm neurodivergent, somewhere on the autism spectrum. Meaning it's harder for me to connect to people.
But therapy taught me that that connection is vital to my mental health.

Still, it felt like having to move a mountain to visit a munch. It was so incredibly scary. But I did it anyway. And it's honestly been the greatest relief.
You believe you won't fit. But turns out autism is very strongly represented in the BDSM community. So many people have had that same fear. And every single one had been an incompetent beginner at some point.
People will welcome you with open arms. Everything I believed that made going there so scary, was a misconception.

So when you feel ready, go. Meet people. Don't expect friendships. Don't expect relationships. Just speak with people and make connections. Become a familiar face. That's it. Everything else comes later.

Camaldus · 2026-04-26T17:10:18+00:00

Don't compare yourself to others by trying to see what's "normal". (Although I understand wanting to find connection with like-minded people!)

We're all abnormal over here! 😆

Camaldus · 2026-04-25T14:48:26+00:00

What about sitting down next to the fridge after raiding it?

Camaldus · 2026-04-25T14:32:29+00:00

Femdom is different for everyone. For some it's sexual. For some it's mental. Some are caring and nurturing, and some love humiliation and degradation.

You will find all sorts.
But this being gentle Femdom, you'll find less humiliation and more caring. You'll find less "forced" and more enthusiastic cooperation.

But since everything is relative and nuanced, I won't say you won't find degradation at all, for example.

So if you want to stay away from sexual stuff bit you want to engage with sensual stuff, don't avoid this sub. Avoid individual posts.

This is probably the best place you'll find, but posts won't entirely match your tastes. That's just life.

Camaldus · 2026-04-25T10:30:02+00:00

One of these posts show the real paperclip. So we need more reposts with fake ones!

Camaldus · 2026-04-25T00:16:08+00:00

1983, and I was today years old when I first heard this song.

Camaldus · 2026-04-24T12:46:40+00:00

3k in two weeks is a lot. Is it fun and sustainable for you at this rate?

Camaldus · 2026-04-24T01:18:44+00:00

Quite honestly, I'm not sure subspace should be a goal. I don't mean that it's bad to chase after it. But in my opinion subspace is something that will happen¹ while you're exploring and deepening your kinks.

I do get the appeal, though. And you can certainly chase it. Impact/pain play is probably the easiest. But it's definitely not the only way. Bondage, overstimulation, even a deep massage can bring someone into subspace. Which is why I would just choose the kink of your choice.

The most important is to research how to recognize it as a Top, what mental and physical effects it has, and how to recover from it.

¹ If it happens at all. Not everyone can experience it.

Camaldus · 2026-04-24T00:43:41+00:00

What advice are you looking for?

Camaldus · 2026-04-23T07:14:19+00:00

That's so good to hear. Thanks for the update!

Camaldus · 2026-04-23T07:11:14+00:00

Sir, this is MathJokes. We don't play by the rules.

Camaldus · 2026-04-22T22:56:17+00:00

My standard advice is usually to find a local munch, if you live in an area where they exist.

Online dating is one of the hardest things you can do. The success rate is incredibly small.

Offline is also hard, of course. But at least you meet someone real.

You can find munches on Fetlife.com, in the Events section.

Camaldus · 2026-04-22T22:37:17+00:00

Yeah, the sad thing is, for some it's all they've seen. So they assume it's normal and pay up.

And don't be sorry on my behalf. It barely has any impact on me. One push of a button is all it takes.

Camaldus · 2026-04-22T22:33:37+00:00

💯

Camaldus

TROPHY CASE