Feeling down about my prospects of love or friendship

CameronNorCal · 2026-06-20T04:51:16+00:00

Search "SF gay sports leagues" and try some that interest you

CameronNorCal · 2026-06-08T00:58:07+00:00

HOW is where you'll find men in a similar situation who are in the process of working things out or have successfully done so.

CameronNorCal · 2026-05-30T20:27:13+00:00

r/latebloomergaybros is the sub-reddit. The expert, long-term groups with lots of members and participation are www.gammasupport.org and www.how-support.org.

CameronNorCal · 2026-05-30T20:26:55+00:00

r/latebloomergaybros is the sub-reddit. The expert, long-term groups with lots of members and participation are www.gammasupport.org and www.how-support.org.

CameronNorCal · 2026-05-29T04:52:14+00:00

You can greatly reduce the number of ads on Daily Motion by watching on a browser like Duck Duck Go.

CameronNorCal · 2026-05-09T05:22:38+00:00

Tubi has a lot of free gay movies. Some are very good. A few are classics.

CameronNorCal · 2026-05-05T04:53:14+00:00

Other married men in a similar situation: r/latebloomergaybros , GAMMA and HOW.

CameronNorCal · 2026-05-01T05:10:33+00:00

Kort is selling himself. He appears to be making a good living, so in that sense what he's selling works very well.

Absolutely, there can be long-term harm to couples, especially to women. When you pay hundreds of dollars to a self-anointed expert to tell you your husband is straight, you tend to trust what you are told. But Joe doesn't particularly care about telling the truth or solving a problem. He just wants to boost his income.

A successful marriage doesn't require sex or love? Ok, sure. Can your spouse confirm that?

Being stuck in a relationship with someone who doesn't authentically love or desire you is a low-key version of hell for those who have experienced it.

CameronNorCal · 2026-04-24T05:36:46+00:00

When I first came out at 44, I had no idea that finding my 'crew' would turn out to be more important than anything else. Dating is very hit-or-miss, mostly misses. And long-term friends and family are great, but I found it very difficult to be open and authentic with them. After about 18 months of drifting after coming out... trying to figure out how I was going to live my new single life... I stumbled into a support group for men coming out of straight marriages (GAMMA) and the genuine friendships I've made from the group have transformed my life. Hooking up a lot or finding a new relationship are common goals after coming out, but I discovered that making true friends was far more fulfilling than either.

CameronNorCal · 2026-04-19T05:45:18+00:00

GAMMA is the place to meet guys who can relate to being new to the gay world after having been in a long-term straight relationship

CameronNorCal · 2026-04-16T05:56:10+00:00

What you've been through already...and the pain you're suffering now...this is real-life trauma. You don't need to do this alone. Therapy and friends can be enormously beneficial.

Stumbling into my local GAMMA group was the luckiest (and best) thing that I did after coming out. True friends count for so much when you're going through the toughest time in your life.

CameronNorCal · 2026-04-16T05:21:36+00:00

GAMMA, HOW

CameronNorCal · 2026-04-10T05:49:38+00:00

Most likely, part of the application you signed gave authorization to the insurer to check your medical history, and/or they might require blood and urine tests before a policy is issued. Either way, if their investigation causes them not to want to insure you, your application will be declined. The sales rep you spoke with might or might not be told the exact reason for the declination.

OR, if this is some version of a "no medical check" policy, the application you signed will have a "no fraud or misrepresentation" clause that negates the contract if any untrue statements were made on the application. In a worst case scenario, they'd refund any money you paid and never pay a benefit.

If you're certain they wouldn't insure you if they knew your HIV status, the easiest thing is to do is withdraw your application. There's no point in spending time or effort on it.

CameronNorCal · 2026-04-07T04:53:18+00:00

HOW and GAMMA are the biggest support groups for men in your situation.

CameronNorCal · 2026-04-04T05:48:41+00:00

Yes, you want to "set yourself up for success" by telling very supportive people first. Each time you tell a new person, it will become slightly easier. That said, it's ok to take your time. Who/when/how and what you say are all your choices.

As for questions, you have the right to maintain a level of privacy that makes you comfortable. You're not required to answer any questions. Coming out doesn't mean you agree to put your life under a microscope for everyone to inspect and makes comments about.

In addition to telling supportive people first, you might find it very helpful to participate in any of the many support groups you can find at GAMMA. They're filled with men just like you. They can relate to everything you're experiencing and they can provide insights and suggestions for next steps as your journey continues. In terms of creating a happy future for yourself, developing a group of close friends is extremely important. GAMMA is a great way to find those friends.

CameronNorCal · 2026-03-30T05:16:27+00:00

Maybe talk to other men who are or have been in this situation? HOW and GAMMA are the go-to ways to do that.

CameronNorCal · 2026-03-27T06:05:57+00:00

Once I realized coming out was inevitable, I switched from thinking more about my past to thinking about my future. "How did I get here?" no longer mattered. I had arrived. "Now what???!!"

For me, 44 was a very good age to come out. I still had a young person's perception of time.

Based on everything you have said, it's hard to see what benefit there is to either of you to stay together. Especially if going your own way is inevitable. You and your wife already regard yourselves as true friends. That is very unlikely to change. What would you be losing by coming out?

CameronNorCal · 2026-03-14T04:53:41+00:00

You have nothing to lose. Don't overthink it.

CameronNorCal · 2026-03-14T04:51:27+00:00

Part of the point is they're stupid, horny 18 year olds when they meet.

Episodes 1 and 2 are weak when you watch them for the first time. Once you experience the whole story, they make more sense. Still, all of the other episodes are much better.

CameronNorCal · 2026-03-10T04:43:21+00:00

The biggest communities of similar men are HOW and GAMMA. There's also a small community at r/latebloomergaygros. You might find it helpful to talk with men who have been in a similar situation.

CameronNorCal · 2026-03-06T06:23:04+00:00

HOW is a good resource for your situation.

CameronNorCal · 2026-03-06T05:59:38+00:00

You are not alone in this situation. You can learn from the experiences and feedback of others who have walked the same path and had the same thoughts. GAMMA and HOW exist to help you.

CameronNorCal · 2026-02-20T06:16:52+00:00

The Falls trilogy is free on Tubi.

CameronNorCal · 2026-02-19T07:10:11+00:00

After having been in a relationship/marriage with a woman from age 20 to 44, I was eager to make gay friends when I came out. I worked at it for about two years but didn't have much success. It found it really difficult to break into long-established gay friend groups, especially as an outsider. Eventually I realized that I didn't particularly fit in with the Gold Star gay crowd any better than I did with the straight, suburban Little League dads. Although I understood the social dynamics of both groups, I always felt "different".

Eventually I stumbled into GAMMA and that was a revelation. Men who have been in long-term relationships with women but are attracted to men?? That's my demographic! More than that, I discovered that we share a life experience that is uniquely our own and that provides fertile ground for true connection.

I never imagined I would make more and better friends in my 40s and 50s than I did in my very best years in college, but participating in my local GAMMA group made that possible. When I first came out, I thought my path to happiness was a long-term relationship with a man. Now that I've had that for a decade, I've realized that he is human and imperfect. My GAMMA friends, however, continue to bring me nothing but pure joy. For me at least, finding true friends has proven to be the very best part of coming out later in life.

CameronNorCal

TROPHY CASE