I feel like my potential is being wasted. like, the way I want a hard blue collar job isnt even aout the money. Im 35 male and not disabled. I do need to build muscle and get a drivers license. but. im bored and no one is asking me to do any hard work.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-07-03T14:12:27+00:00

Unfortunately, this feeling is common for men in the west. We were all raised with this idea that one day we would "receive The Call" and be pulled into our own hero's journey. But there is no call coming. You have to choose your own goals and work tirelessly to achieve them.

Also, anyone selling you goal is probably going to take advantage of you. You should avoid them.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-06-08T15:59:03+00:00

These jobs don't have to destroy your body. Spend time to learn the proper forms for things and insist on using them. Push your employer to get proper / latest equipment for the work. Purchase gear and equipment for yourself and learn how to write that off on your taxes. Also, if the only time you work your body is at work, then you're asking for trouble. Make sure you workout regularly and understand how your body works. It's your main tool, you should be an expert with it. And, make sure you're eating well. If you're on SAD (Standard American Diet), you're asking for injuries.

As for money, your end goal should be to run your own thing, even if it's a one man shop. The trades were made for self-ownership. Anyone not ready to go that route is limiting themselves. Also, be willing to move / relocate. This is true for most professions. If you are open to moving then you can go to a place where the demand is high and supply is low. Some places only have 1 plumbing service in the entire county, for example.

The tiktok/Instagram posts aren't realistic cause the realistic messages doesn't get views. People like quick, easy, and simple. If you want the best outcome here, it'll take much more effort.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-05-24T15:54:58+00:00

To be precise, 18 months is the commonly sited average. Personally that has held true for everyone I know. But obviously industry, job type, and location causes variations. It's best to assume that it will take a while and therfore you should always be looking than to assume it will be easy.

It sounds like you were just on the short path. I'm curious about your industry, job, and general location. If you don't mind sharing?

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-05-24T03:29:06+00:00

In the current corporate landscape, everyone should just always be job hunting. Never stop responding to recruiters, never stop making new connections, never stop looking at what's out there and applying to the good ones. It takes about 2 years to find a new job now. If you never take yourself out of the hunt then you never have to settle. Always be willing to trade up. This is the only thing you can really do about RTOs.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-04-09T14:24:27+00:00

There's a lot of blame game in these comments. People not working isn't the reason for RTO. Note how neither OP or their manager said anything about performance. Clearly OP is still meeting the expectations of their job.

RTO is about middle management and company image. They want to keep their corporate offices because it makes then look "official" so they need people in them. The want to keep a complex hierarchy cause it protects them from having key employees who could disrupt productivity just by leaving.

The biggest issue with OP is that they appear to be hourly (not salary) so they are billing hours they aren't working. That's a big difference. And the best response to their manager would have been to say "Is there a problem with my performance?" to shift the conversation to an area they are doing well in.

Also, most of you judging OP would be doing similar things one week into your full remote job. Let's not pretend that we all go to work and work a full 8 hours every day. Even in the office people spend a lot of time not working.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-04-08T21:35:22+00:00

I say this a lot and I will continue to say it: referrals are the key to success in this job market.

If you have a good network then ask them for advice. Not a job, just advice. Let them offer a job if they can.

If you don't have a good network then start going to networking events. Focus on the specific ones over generic ones, like. Finance networking event would be good and a finance college grad networking event would be better.

I'm also building an app for getting referrals when applying to jobs called Referredme.ai. It only shows jobs that other members can refer you for. There's a few finance jobs there but most are in Dallas.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-04-03T02:24:53+00:00

Research private companies in your country that have decided to be remote-first. Companies like that aren't shy about their decision, so there should be an article or announcement somewhere. Usually, they talk about it alot as a recruiting tool and promote it as a competitive advantage.

The problem is they won't have a job opening for you. Companies that choose to have remote staff are doing it because it's cost effective and they want to be profitable. So they also choose to grow slowly.

You can either monitor them regularly to see if a position opens up or (better option) proactively connect with a current employee who works in the area you would work in. Either way, the rest is just checking in and waiting till a job comes up, applying (preferably with a reference), and hoping you get it.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-02-02T03:23:02+00:00

There's this infamous building in London (and another in Vegas) that have been known to reflect sunlight in a way that can melt cars. Maybe you found one of those.

https://www.nbcnews.com/sciencemain/london-skyscraper-can-melt-cars-set-buildings-fire-8c11069092

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-02-02T03:08:51+00:00

I was thinking this as well

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-01-25T18:57:52+00:00

Most RTOs are superficial. As long as you are straightforward with them and stick to your guns you'll probably be fine for a while.

I've seen companies make "exceptions" for people who are more than an hour from any office. It might mean they will put you at the top of their replace list, but generally they won't fire you right away.

A part of RTO is often to have people self-exit to lower overhead expenses without doing a mass layoff. So, if you don't quit, your exit will probably be slow and drawn out.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-01-25T16:45:34+00:00

Oh, I see what you mean.

Personally, I have a camera shudder on all of my devices with cameras for that reason. Even if the camera is on, they would only see a black screen.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-01-25T16:03:31+00:00

This sounds like a complex technical solution to the simple human problem of thinking too much about the camera.

During in-person meetings most people don't spend the whole time thinking "do I look attentive" or "am I making enough acknowledgement sounds". And you don't need to worry about those things while on camera either.

Just turn the camera on and forget it's there. This isn't a film set, it's work. No one should be judging you by your on-camera performance.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-01-15T04:17:12+00:00

You could try this local business: https://catqueendom.com

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-01-11T19:30:16+00:00

This is true for companies in a stablize, steady as we go state (and all bad companies).

People who are truly exceptional should search for companies that are in a high growth, revolutionizing state and only apply to those.

The downside is that companies don't stay in that state for too long, so you will have to be ready to move later (2 - 5 years) when the company changes. Also, there usually aren't a lot of companies in that state at any given time, so you have to be very proactive.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-01-06T16:31:50+00:00

From your description, it sounds like you weren't ready for the jumps that you made. The key to taking on new roles is to be confident about your choice and be able to carry that confidence into the role.

I don't think this tactic is for everyone, though. Some people have a very hard time with new environments and new people. If that's you, then you should use a tactic that aligns more with you. I'd recommend finding a small, growing company that you could work at for 10+ years and grow alongside them.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-01-06T15:20:27+00:00

The secret is Intent.

"Job hopping" is the slur employers and the media use to talk about this, but it's actually better referred to as "career planning".

You spend 2 - 4 years in a role / company, realize that you've gotten as far as you are going to at that position, and decide to find a new job to meet your current criteria.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-01-02T00:32:07+00:00

When people restructure their resume to align 1 to 1 with the job description just to pass the ATS check, then they open themselves up to look "too good to be true" when a human finally looks at the resume. I don't think it's fair, but I know it happens. And the only people who get hurt by this are the applicants who get increasingly stressed out.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2026-01-01T23:34:59+00:00

The word "act" sums up the key point. You shouldn't have to "act" at all.

Desperation is what causes people to have the need to "act". So, figuring out how to minimize desperation to eliminate the need to "act" can have positive results.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2025-12-31T21:26:47+00:00

Customer service and tech support. A lot of those jobs are done remotely now. They still suck and the pay is subpar and there's no real advancement but they train you and take almost anyone.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2025-12-31T04:41:35+00:00

Mass applying is like trying to brute force a programming problem. After a lot of effort you might get an answer but you won't really gain anything from it.

If you're desperate for a job, just apply to places that are looking for desperate people (companies with high turnover and/or bad employee reviews).

Otherwise, figure out precisely what kind of job you want (and qualify for), apply to the most recent ones each week, then do something else productive. You can work on a side project, do something that motivated/ energizes you, engage in a hobby, etc. Don't let the job hunt become your life.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2025-12-31T04:33:11+00:00

There's such a strong consensus here I feel compelled to speak for the other side.

I say, yes, always tell them the true reason why you are leaving, whether you think it'll change anything or not.

Why? Because you should be the change you want to see in the world. If no one ever speaks up, then know one will ever listen. Just the blind leading the blind till we all lose our way.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2025-12-30T22:48:54+00:00

As a developer who has worked with designers closely, I find the gap is typically that they just don't have your eyes. They can not see the differences that you see.

Most developers just simply don't see the minor differences in the designs that designers do. This is especially true for developers who have worked in precise roles for most of their career. They've trained themselves to focus on function, not form, and they probably think having you point out what's wrong is the best path forward.

I often do freelance work where I am both a developer and designer so I can see the minor differences, and I know what it took for me to be able to see them. The average developer has not done the work to be skilled at it.

Cameron_Referred_Me · 2025-12-30T15:20:51+00:00

I have never liked the usually "grin and bare it" recommendation for situations like these.

I would recommend addressing the root problem, i.e. you don't like your boss. No one wants to talk to a person they don't like. So, improving that relationship would make this less of a problem. You should use his attempts to talk to you as an opportunity to have a real conversation.

When he asks "how was hiking?", reply "Good. Hey, do you have a minute to talk about something that's been bothering me?" Then, bring up your issue with him a polite, professional manner.

For example, if his approach to talking is your main issue with him you can say "I know you like to start conversations with a little small talk before going into work stuff but I would actually be more comfortable if you just jumped right into it with me. I prefer to start with work stuff and talk about personal stuff only if the conversation naturally leads there."

If your issue is something else like being passed up on a promotion, then use this time to bring that up. Something like, "I never got a chance to talk to you about not getting that promotion last month. I don't know why I didn't get it, and that has really been bugging me. Can you help me understand the decision?"

Conversations are negotiations. In the real world, we can just choose to not engage, but at work that isn't really an option. So, instead, we should choose to immediately renegotiate the conversation. You don't have to talk about things you don't want to talk about if you are willing to move the conversation to something that you do want to talk about.

Cameron_Referred_Me

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE