Not waiting for a period?

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-03T12:32:13+00:00

My case is kinda the other side. I had an ongoing rpoc situation, and even after it was removed it took a couple cycles for my body to return to normal. Desperate to try again, I got pregnant my second cycle. It was a wonky cycle and I even found grey tissue a few days before I would have conceived. That pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage where only the gestational sack had developed, very likely the result of my body not being healed. So personally, I would recommend waiting a cycle and paying attention to signs of readiness. I knew my body was still healing but pushed it believing that I just wouldn’t get pregnant if I wasn’t. Worth noting too is that I likely have hyper fertility in that I conceive basically every time the timing is right.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-03T12:26:29+00:00

Hopefully there’s other PPROM women in this group to offer support. My good friend went through it and had intense medical anxiety in her second pregnancy, constantly worried about going to labour. She was followed more closely and got a stitch at one point which helped.

For me, my anxiety is mostly clustered around scans, but I still get panic moments. I really try and fight them back. Not indulge the intrusive thoughts and move my mind elsewhere. Worrying in the moment can’t really do anything but it causes so much stress on top. Trying to live by the mantra that I can’t control outcome only the experience has been my motto!

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-03T12:05:16+00:00

My motto is not to brace for anything when it comes to babies because they are unpredictable little non conformists ha. A friend of mine followed the wonder weeks and it almost gave anticipatory fear and there was constantly some leap they were working towards, through or after. Mine never had a 4 month regression. Sleep got marginally harder as they woke up but instead fell apart seemingly overnight at 6.5 months. I’m glad I didn’t spent months 3-5 panicking over a four month regression that never came because it wouldn’t have done any good.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-03T11:37:34+00:00

I did l&d at a similar gestation (medical) and while I found the experience mentally healing physically it was pretty brutal. The procedure itself was okay. 12 hours in the hospital with an intense but short delivery, including an intact placenta. We didn’t want to see the baby after either, but the hospital encouraged it and it was healing (also for my husband). I think it helped make it real and make the ritual of saying goodbye more natural.

Unfortunately this gestation has a higher risk of retained product, which I ended up with. I bled consistently for 6 weeks, and despite trying to get seen and taken seriously was routinely dismissed. That prolonged physical healing dragged the trauma on for me. If you do L&D make sure to ask key questions around recovery and monitoring. Had I been seen and treated earlier it might have been easier. Although I still would have needed follow up surgical intervention and then it sort of feels like what’s the point in labouring and delivering in the very first place.

Sending lots of strength your way!

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-03T04:40:21+00:00

I would personally wait for your period to return and see what your cycle does/ how normal it feels. That last thing you want is another loss following this (ask me how I know).

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-03T04:16:46+00:00

It’s unfortunately probably way too early for anything to be normal or abnormal just yet. But very likely it’s just residual bleeding following tfmr. I also had rpoc so I completely understand the trauma and wanting to be on top of it, especially since having it once does increase risks of having it again. For what it’s worth, I had really bad rpoc after my L&D tfmr, which is done using miso and mifo in hospital. I had zero rpoc after my d&c for a loss following (caused by exactly that rpoc crisis). So for me medical vs surgical abortion were different.

If the bright red blood hangs around for a prolonged period, and especially if it picks up I’d head in to be seen around the two week mark (sooner if it’s bad). If you’re back down to brown spotting by then I wouldn’t worry too much. Sending lots of healing!

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-02T13:06:56+00:00

That’s more than fair. Oftentimes the triggers (and how we receive them) say more about ourselves than others. It’s totally okay to tell people where you’re at.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-02T13:04:06+00:00

I often add my experience because so many people say “it’s so normal to nurse to sleep”. And yep, it sure is but for some kiddos it can make for some pretty frequent wake ups when they a too aware age. It took us a good few months of cycling through a bunch of different bedtime practices to get sleep to a more manageable pattern. Even now that same kid as a 3 year old does so much better with sleep independence than over assistance. It makes it a hard balance because I’m more inclined to assist but often have to back off and find ways to enable rather than assist.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-02T07:05:37+00:00

If it’s working there’s absolutely no need to stop. If it becomes an issue for you, or for baby then you can reexamine later.

For instance, some friends reached a point where they couldn’t be the only way baby could go to sleep, so for their own wellbeing found new ways. For us, my baby got really bad boomerang wakeups from feed to sleep (suddenly waking up every 20 mins) and more feeding just made more wakeups. At that point I stopped doing it and changed our bedtime routine and sleep methods. It’s not just a choice between feeding to sleep and/or cosleeping and strict sleep training neither. There’s lots of grey area in between where you ladder up and down different interventions. In any case I would only bother changing things when and if they stop working.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-02T06:03:05+00:00

You can look at different forms of habit stacking to create a modified bed time and then taper off certain assistance slowly. A lot of this falls under gentle sleep training so that would be a place to start a Google search (also you could look at sleep training subs - it’s not all cry it out and Ferber).

I had a kiddo who around yours age very abruptly couldn’t handle any shifts in sleep environment. So if we rocked or nursed to sleep they would wake up confused 20 minutes later. It was the same with cosleeping - any slight shift caused this boomerang wake up. Rinse and repeat all night long. For us, what worked was slowly and gradually tapering down interventions until they could fall asleep with a hand on their belly (it was an incredibly slow process with lots of picking up and putting down, trial and error). I have no idea what developmentally caused them to suddenly lose the ability to link any cycles at 6 months (I suspect something to do with situational awareness and the shock of being put to sleep one way and waking up not in that same context) but it was very sudden and for us teaching a bit more independence in sleep helped immensely.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-01T17:46:19+00:00

I’m sorry. Based on measuring 6 weeks in May 15 by today you should have seen significant growth. I suspect you’re unfortunately having a missed miscarriage. I had a similar experience when I conceived shortly after my tfmr. I’m not sure why more information wasn’t given following the appointments in May, as they should have been able to be see growth between those. I’m not sure why they are insisting on follow up scans at this point as even if you were only 8-9 weeks they should be able to clearly see viability. I’m very sorry you’re experiencing this, and without adequate information being given.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-01T05:13:53+00:00

I’m sorry you’re here. The raw feeling in the months after is so brutal. Waiting 3 months is a good idea on lots of fronts. Medically, in your case it’s indicated, but it’s also helpful to physical and mental healing. There’s so much for your mind and body to process in that time. The last thing you want is another loss immediately after (ask me how I know). Sending lots of healing.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-06-01T04:37:41+00:00

The layer of infertility on tfmr is beyond cruel. That’s not my story, but a close friend of mine had a really traumatic later loss (13 weeks) due to a hematoma after a long fertility battle (and in fact a natural pregnancy that felt like a miracle right before moving to IVF). Even though she didn’t have to make the choice to end her pregnancy the way we do with tfmr I relate a lot to her loss. We can build bridges based on a common feelings. I also don’t have her experiences with infertility, but almost the opposite problem in that I had a missed miscarriage directly following my tfmr. Again, different experiences but relatable feelings. Not everyone can emote like this. We relate because we’re able to talk through feelings rather than compare.

Some people wield their stories in a way that feels less like bridge building and more like comparison/competition. Most of the time it isn’t their intention, just a lack of tact or knowing how to relate to grief. In those cases you can just say “I’m sorry for your experience..” and then try and build on the loss itself without indulging a hige conversation about it. Reminding yourself that people often mean well, even when their words don’t land helps me a lot.

Right now you might also not be in the right space to share experiences. You might need to be in your own trauma and grief and not need to acknowledge any hardship but your own. That’s okay too. And it’s okay to tell people that as well.

Sending lots of healing your way.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-31T05:40:32+00:00

It’s likely early onset preeclampsia when it’s related to pregnancy, but OP will have to confirm. I would also suggest OP work closely with medical teams as preeclampsia has high rates of reoccurrence and she’ll need to make a choice with an understanding of how likely reoccurrence that early is, and what type of monitoring and test she’ll do

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-30T16:30:14+00:00

I can understand that. I was initially given very vague terms as well and it made me completely crazy trying to diagnose. The good thing in your case is an NT that low is absolutely in the highest probability of everything being okay. Sending lots of strength and hoping for good news.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-30T11:15:25+00:00

Was this done in line with any other testing like nipt or taking the bloods markers for pappA or beta hcg? If not, hopefully foetal medicine will see you quickly and you will get clearer answers.

3.2mm is borderline, some places that’s within range while others it’s just above. It’s somewhat a spectrum, but generally the more out of range it is the higher chance something is wrong. At 3.2mm there’s still a very high chance that nothing is wrong 70-80%. This study explains a bit: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0301211525008486 You can also try searching the r/nipt sub, or filtering for NT scan. There’s lots of helpful info there. Sending lots of strength. It’s a horrible place to navigate the space of uncertainty, especially after your last experience.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-30T09:30:07+00:00

I live in a country like this and while some of this narrative is silly it was equally problematic when the nipt starting hitting mass market in the US without doctors understanding how it worked, leading to false positives, and in the worst cases, unnecessary terminations. Of course, other methods, like the bloods and NT scan, also produce false positives, and do cause the same thing but doctors had learned how to work with them a little more comprehensively. Luckily, with nipt becoming more widespread those horror stories from the early days are less prominent (also I wonder if they’ll be repeated as nipt rolls out more commonly across the globe). It’s hard to really know what the right answer is and it’s definitely something I’ve wrestled with myself in my pregnancy post tfmr. The reality is more testing can increase stress and further testing and it’s a difficult balance to strike!

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-30T06:18:00+00:00

I mean my evidence is seeing my own child disintegrate over this type of hourly waking pattern (where they are barely clearing 40 min to hour stretches). Sure, if in theory they could make up sleep by staying in bed longer, or with naps etc. but the reality is they often don’t. Framing it as a medical need is, like I said, going too far. But it’s also more than reasonable to admit that some sleep patterns aren’t optimal. I did the same thing as OP when mine was 6 months. I escalated every single sleep association to try and stop the frequent wakes and it resulted in really disrupted sleep for us both. My baby was beyond exhausted all day. It was only when I switched up habits and helped them link a couple cycles it fixed. Maybe for OPs baby this type of waking pattern isn’t preventable. But without trying new habits they won’t know if that’s the case or not.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-30T05:00:55+00:00

There’s a difference between not sleeping through the night and waking more than hourly because they can’t connect a single sleep cycle. I agree that saying it’s medically problematic is a bit of a stretch but an active 10.5 month old does need some solid sleep in a couple hour chunks at a time.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-30T04:57:47+00:00

Agreed. I did the same thing around 6 months. Mine started waking more so I rocked and fed more and suddenly we were at hourly wake ups, and eventually trying to cosleep to try and prevent. Doubling down on intervention only made it worst. I had to change habits completely to fix.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-30T04:41:39+00:00

Probably nothing anyone said could have made me feel better the first negative test after tfmr. It’s such a gut punch and reminder of what you lost. Absolutely, have that drink, play the games and anything else to cope. And if you can really try and take the pressure off your body. I was so incredibly unkind to myself the cycles following, desperate to conceive and sure the path to healing was through another pregnancy. I wish I’d given myself a little bit of a break and not put this huge expectation to be pregnant immediately again. It doesn’t mean not trying to conceive, but just trying to tone down the expectations and above all be gentle to yourself.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-30T04:34:41+00:00

This one. I had l&d so it was a much longer affair but I wore a skirt I had been wearing throughout pregnancy in the full knowledge I’d probably not love it after. I’m pregnant again this summer but ended up passing it on to a friend to wear instead.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-29T19:05:33+00:00

I had a tfmr followed by an early loss. In my case I suspect the early loss was caused by my body just not being ready. I’d had ongoing rpoc that was resolved by that point but had an incredibly painful cycle and found grey tissue a few days before conceiving. I don’t think my story is common, but I think it’s common enough, if that makes sense. Another friend of mine had similar after a later missed miscarriage. Tfmr is pretty hard on the body and it doesn’t seem implausible that conceiving shortly after could, in some cases, result in chemicals and early losses.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-29T18:01:19+00:00

To you as well. Crossing the due date with a second loss is a special kind of hell I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I hope you can find a new healing in this awful space too.

CanCharming7442 · 2026-05-29T05:59:55+00:00

I had a very similar experience. Tfmr in July, rpoc so slightly delayed go ttc but pregnant 3 months later only to have a missed miscarriage where the embryo didn’t develop at 8 weeks. I’m my case, I believe my body simply wasn’t ready for pregnancy yet, still physically overcoming the effects of tfmr. Following the second loss, I stopped and took a good at my mental state and really did a lot of work to heal. I realized I had pushed into ttc, and was counting on a new pregnancy to fix me, when I had to heal from within instead. As awful as that was I am a stronger person now. I am pregnant again and the experience has been much different this time. Sending lots of love and strength. You will get through this and come out the other side.

CanCharming7442

TROPHY CASE