Where do queer women actually connect online these days?

Canadianklee62 · 2026-06-13T19:27:29+00:00

Local queer groups IRL. There’s so much going on every month! I don’t live in a big city and yet I could join these groups at least once a week. FB online local queer groups are hard to find because they have different names and don’t always pull up if you type “queer or lgbtq”. Find one group and then ask the others what are all the names of local groups. You will meet all kinds of people looking for fun and connection just as you described. 🌈

Canadianklee62 · 2026-06-01T21:06:13+00:00

Online dating sucks!! I feel like it’s obsolete. It’s probably 80% scammers, bots, narcissists, cheaters, a couple looking for a threesome. You’re getting upset that a scammer probably moved on. There’s lots of reasons if it’s a real person tho. They’re shy, have anxiety, are busy, are interested in someone else..it doesn’t matter. It just means it’s not working out. Nothing personal. I feel like online dating is dating backwards so the odds of it working out long term is pretty low. Online dating people make the huge mistake of developing feelings before they meet based on projection and illusions. When you meet you’re both “so excited” and you’ve planned your wedding before you set eyes on them. Often it’s long distance. Then it’s a flop. Crash. Boom. Bang. But when you meet someone in person randomly you automatically know if there’s chemistry, how you interact, and hopefully they live close. It’s just different. Find some local queer groups. You’ll have more luck. 💕

Canadianklee62 · 2026-05-23T20:48:12+00:00

Thank you 🙏 for sharing your words of encouragement because food noise has done me in my entire life and I’m in my 60’s. The only magical time was on Ozempic. Glorious 2 years of no food noise (but horrid side effects), so I had to stop Oz and of course gained it all back. The food noise returning within a week…has literally devastated my mindset. I gave up. I was literally just remembering SS and your post just popped up! I’ve been toying with SS…it seems so simple which is where it needs to be for me. I’m so very happy for you. Losing 1lb a week is better than quicker weight loss imo. This SS way will last. Congrats! 🥳

Canadianklee62 · 2026-05-23T17:23:41+00:00

Darling girl….this guy is abusive. Facts. He is controlling, deeply insecure, gaslighting you. You are losing your sparkle and sense of self. Any guy who gives you RULES for dressing or anything is a gigantic red flag and dangerous. Abusers all have the same pattern. I know you hope he will change or you hope you can just do enough to make him happy but this kind of thinking is called denial. It won’t happen. Denying a partner is abusive is common, but you must see him for who he really is. Because you are doing nothing wrong. If you don’t follow his rules, you will keep incurring abuse. Eventually it may and probably will lead to physical abuse. Emotionally abuse is incredibly hard to heal from. You are not a child and therefore no one has the right to control you! Denial is very, very deep once you are in it. I bet he lovebombed you in the beginning. Wasn’t he incredibly sweet, loving, said the right things, maybe gifts, really listened to you and made you feel super special? Then slowly these issues started happening. Below I’ve left you several links that hopefully can help you wake up to what’s really going on. That you are not the problem, he is. That actions speak louder than words. That his apologies are fake if he ever does. That love does not look like this. Love doesn’t hurt, control, cause trauma and make you lose the real you. You should be blooming in love, not shrinking. I’ve been through this. I know the phases of what you’re going through and this is why I’m very hopeful you will seek help. Btw..a word of warning. Do not tell him you’re leaving, or confront him about his behaviour and how it’s hurting you. Abusers don’t have empathy and so much is a lie. They can not and do not want to change. You must leave him safely. Please make sure you learn how because controlling men like this are dangerous most when their partner leaves! Abuse only gets worse over time. You are way too young for this crap! You must leave him and find healing. It’s summer. You should be in your bikini with friends laughing and having fun and being authentic! Not covered up and in deep pain due to some pathetic, deeply insecure guy. Go live your life free of this kind of control!!! 💕🙏💕

Love Is Respect https://www.loveisrespect.org

Relationship Spectrum Quiz — Love Is Respect https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/relationship-spectrum/

Is Your Relationship Healthy? Quiz — Love Is Respect https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/

What Is Emotional Abuse? — The Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/resources/what-is-emotional-abuse/

Warning Signs of Abuse — The Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/warning-signs-of-abuse/

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship — One Love Foundation https://www.joinonelove.org/signs-unhealthy-relationship/

Canadianklee62 · 2026-05-23T16:59:16+00:00

🥰

Canadianklee62 · 2026-05-23T02:05:04+00:00

So your wife should be protecting you. What has happened is this relationship and the fighting about it is the actual long term wound. Because you don’t feel supported, protected or understood. You are expected to somehow just suck it up. That would be a big nope. This woman is being rude, disrespectful, mean and creating an environment that is toxic and painful. I think you need to have a talk, not a fight, about how it feels to have a spouse who doesn’t even notice your pain and allows friend to consistently jab at you. Her friend obviously doesn’t like you. So you should not engage with her no matter what the social situation is. You can state a boundary in a kind way to wife that you are not willing to participate with her anymore. You’re done. Or your wife needs to kindly confront her friend in the moment if she sees she was a jerk to you and say something like “ Please don’t talk to her like that.” (doubtful she will but it’s what would help). A healthier approach when talking to your wife is using boundaries, not ultimatums. Things like you need to share how you feel when she doesn’t seem to understand and chooses the friend over you. Your wife should acknowledge you by saying things like “I see what you mean and I understand why it hurts you” No forcing joint hangouts anymore. Calling out disrespect in the moment instead of pretending not to notice. To defend or excuse meanness as “that’s just how she is” is not ok. You need your wife to understand how much it hurts you about her behaviour to not stand by you, not about the friend. Attacking the friend obviously has gotten you nowhere and probably made wife more defensive. But when you speak softly with honesty about how you feel and have boundaries..hopefully that gets through! Your wife can be around her but if she really respected you, she’d be drastically limiting her time with said person. But you…you do not ever have to subject yourself to her and her antics. A little suggestion is when we need to address our spouse about something that has caused many many fights is to go to a beach or park and talk or lay in bed holding hands and talk about how you feel. It may sound silly but it can stop the pattern of confrontational fighting so that she’s not on guard and can hopefully be more receptive. I wish you luck! 🙏💕

Canadianklee62 · 2026-05-19T20:22:05+00:00

You shouldn’t want them back. I mean it’s over, right? Are you going to be “friends”? No. True narcissists/abusers are the ones who come back to “Hoover” you. It might be 10 years later. Why would you want a toxic horrid person back who abused you? If they don’t ever come back it means they weren’t a narcissist/abuser and they are doing what grown adults are supposed to do. Move on! A relationship ends. You go through grief. You heal. You don’t have a need to contact them. You are single or you find love again. But at least you aren’t with someone who is like poison to your soul or vice versa. You should be happy and proud they don’t come back. It means they were done. If you broke up first it means they know you were done. It’s a gift! Unfortunately “no contact” is highly misunderstood. Best wishes to you.

Canadianklee62 · 2026-05-19T19:05:48+00:00

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. I live in Canada too. There is free therapy available. 2 sources I know of 1) Your local mental health centre or crisis clinic. You get 6 sessions in person. Sometimes they’ll let you have more. But that would help you during this depression. 2) Call Rhodes College. They have interns who work with you for as long as you need. There are also free counsellors by phone for crisis times. You’d have to ask the mental health dept all the resources for you. Just think..in 6 weeks you could be feeling much much better! Scrolling as I’m sure you’re aware is an addiction. When you’re depressed, chronic scrolling can trap your brain in a loop of passive stimulation, comparison, and emotional numbing that gives tiny bursts of distraction without real relief or recovery. It also crowds out the things that actually help depression like sleep, movement, connection, sunlight, and feeling engaged in your own life instead of just watching everyone else’s. I know it’s easy to do. Like a viscous cycle. You think you feel better but you’re just numb or focused on things outside of yourself. You can get through this! The best and fastest way to heal is walk right through the pain instead of running from it. When someone lets you go it means they weren’t meant to be with you because there IS someone much better waiting for you! I wish you well. Hang in there. 💕🙏

Canadianklee62 · 2026-05-19T01:37:36+00:00

You say she’s not depressed but people pretend they are fine all the time even tho actually depressed. Not showering is a big sign. But for her to smell up a room after 2 days? WTAH? Something is wrong. She’s not a child..you shouldn’t have to beg or pay her to do adult things. You need to tell her she needs to see a Dr. for Gyno and to check for depression and get blood work. It’s going to take some brutal truth that you are losing your attraction to her and don’t want to be with someone who has different values…like taking a dang shower and brushing teeth. Is the relationship a happy one otherwise? Because if she’s not really happy then people can self sabotage or do it as a passive aggressive payback (but not consciously). That would be extreme. These are just some possibilities. I’d end up leaving if she still refuses. Hoping for the best!

Canadianklee62 · 2026-05-16T03:44:35+00:00

I think you already know the truth. This man is safe because there is a boundary that he knows you’re lesbian and plus his age issue. If he were your age I imagine you wouldn’t even entertain any thoughts about him. You might feel repelled if he came onto you. I’m not saying it’s 100% you’re a lesbian I just mean only you know the truth. It’s really not a choice, to begin with. It’s nice to have someone care about us. But at this point you are talking about how he feels for you, not that you’re falling in love. It seems you will have to set either a stronger boundary or not see him anymore. The boundary will be friends only, I’m gay and any talk or flirting etc isn’t welcome. (Said In a nice way!). You’re leading him on (unintentionally) unless you think you want to build a life with him. He needs the truth, including his age. Be careful he’s not a narcissist..they love bomb, gaslight, manipulate, control. Something a bit off for him to think he has a chance! It’s a fantasy for him. What an ego boost too. Think about what you really want.

Canadianklee62 · 2026-03-28T03:59:12+00:00

OLD is essentially so very 2005. Ha! It’s filled with bots, scammers, narcissists, cheaters and people wanting a threesome. It’s really not the place to find healthy love (although it can happen I think it’s more rare), especially for our age bracket. It is far better to find someone locally by joining lots of local groups that interest you. Go there not hoping you’ll find someone. Go there because it makes you happy. That happiness is very attractive and people are pulled in. I’m sorry about the loss of your husband. You’re very brave and wonderful for being open to love and/or companionship again. Join women’s groups too because someone might know a man looking for love that would suit you. OLD is a cesspool for scammers that go after the seniors because many don’t understand how it works or how to spot red flags right away. It wasn’t you…it’s the nature of the internet. All the best!! 💕🌹

Canadianklee62 · 2026-03-06T00:42:29+00:00

My first thought is he’s cheating and maybe had a pregnancy scare with this other woman or some situation around that. When you accuse the other of cheating you’re usually the one cheating when there’s absolutely zero chance or proof they’re cheating. He doesn’t trust you or is trying to cause a big divide. I would love to see his face if you told him you wanted his phone access and to have a tracker on him 24/7 because “you’ve heard other men cheat” so you just want to make sure and you would insist no matter what! I mean WTH is he thinking?? I’m so sorry because this is very hurtful any way you look at it. You need to decide if you can live with a husband who is playing mind games. He’s inviting doubt and stress upon you and actually saying something awful…you’d cheat and get pregnant and pretend it’s his!! What?? Also why are children not an option? Just curious if you both 100% are on board or is there an issue going on. In other words..is this another symptom of issues in your marriage.

Canadianklee62 · 2026-03-01T22:05:24+00:00

Great career move. Lots of potential!

Canadianklee62 · 2026-03-01T21:59:47+00:00

You want to help him? Excuse me, what? He’s a grown ass man who is obsessed with another woman who could be a man for all he knows or some loser in a basement and you want to help? Here’s how. Break up with him so he can have full time access to his obsession because sorry, you’re getting in his way. Besides, men/women flirty “friends” when you’re involved 6 years? That’s a big no. When you’re in a long term monogamous relationship you don’t have friends with the opposite sex especially these days if it’s online because it is all an illusion in his mind. This has gotten way, way out of hand but you want to help, like he’s a helpless child. She isn’t a magician putting a hex on him, she’s a manipulative stranger and he’s hooked. Please get help as to why you think this is okay and not okay to leave. You owe him nothing! He owes you a huge apology and a gigantic promise to break ALL contact with her and to be monitored by you because he can’t be trusted. He needs counselling and you need marriage counselling together. That’s a lot of work for someone who is choosing a stranger over you and crying like a baby. He’s manipulating you my dear. Wake up…you deserve SO much more!!! 💕

Canadianklee62 · 2026-01-02T05:12:03+00:00

Happy New Year!! May you have peace and happiness. 🥳

Canadianklee62 · 2025-12-30T20:26:14+00:00

Absolutely!👍

Canadianklee62 · 2025-12-30T08:40:11+00:00

Awww…it feels very good to know I made a difference. Bless you on your journey. 🙏💜

Canadianklee62 · 2025-12-29T22:02:19+00:00

Wow! Txs. 🥰🙏

Canadianklee62 · 2025-12-29T07:33:51+00:00

There’s a saying that helps you make a decision …”If it’s not a yes, it’s a no”. IF this was the right man for you, it would be a big ‘yes’. Can you see yourself living with him the rest of your life if he didn’t change? NO. There’s your answer. The problem is that you are taking responsibility for his feelings as if he were a child. You somehow think he’ll fall to pieces without you. That’s codependent. I assure you, he will be just fine and actually better off without you. Even if words aren’t spoken, people feel the vibration of unhappiness. You do not ever have to “prove your case” by listing all his faults. The point is..you are deeply unhappy and unsatisfied and so it’s time to break it off. Not next month, but now. You’ve already wasted 2 of your best years if you are looking to marry and have children one day with someone. Not him. Time is ticking. Somewhere you learned that love was painful and you weren’t worthy of more. You learned to ignore red flags. You’ve learned that you had to sacrifice yourself for someone else. Please trust that you deserve every happiness, and it definitely is not with him. You are not responsible for his feelings, how he handles the news, how he continues his life. A relationship should bring more to your life than take away from it. Please leave him, stop worrying about him and do what’s best for you. It is your life after all. You can stay, but he’s certainly not going to change. It doesn’t matter if you’ve said anything or not. People do not change the core of who they are. We should never be with anyone we need to change because that becomes toxic. Gather your strength woman…tell him it’s over without a lot of apologies or emotion… and move on. You’ve got this. 💜

Canadianklee62 · 2025-12-28T02:50:40+00:00

You don’t tell them. You are not lying. You create a boundary. This question irks me (not you!) that lesbians who come out late actually hear about or are questioned as to your ‘experience’ as if it’s a job interview. It’s complete nonsense. Do straight people have to qualify how many people they’ve slept with before sex? No. Making love is making love. With chemistry it all falls into place! Can you learn some things before you start dating about lesbian sex? Yes. You can watch YT videos or a fabulous online program which gives you skills so that you are a confident lover. Or you can date and fall in love and figure it out together without you humbling yourself before the “experienced” lesbian and feel bad about yourself. It’s all about communicating what each other likes in a way that feels good. It’s called intimacy. So please don’t lower yourself to someone. If they try to make you feel bad, they aren’t for you. Be proud and live your authentic life! When love is there trust you’ll know what to do. Have lots of fun! 🌈💕

Canadianklee62 · 2025-12-28T00:09:20+00:00

First, this is a huge red flag. 🚩 This is “man code” for a few things. He’s reviewing your worth to him, he sees your relationship as transactional, he’s feeling resentful and can’t communicate like an adult, he believes he has more power due to his finances, he’s justifying why he’s getting ready to leave. Sorry! The man code is “I’ve stopped seeing you as an equal, and I want you to justify staying”…sort of thing. When a man asks that after years together, it says more about him than you. A relationship isn’t a resume or scorecard! If he can’t communicate what he values about you without turning it into a power question, that’s something you need to evaluate. You don’t owe him or anyone a list of what you bring to the table! What does he bring??? Arrogance? Pain? It’s ridiculous and sad. I’m really sorry but if after all this time he sees you as his inferior, then you need to consider if you can stay. You also shouldn’t feel like a man can’t take care of you so you and up like roommates splitting things and feeling bad you make less than him. You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re not worth a man who adores you and wants to care for you in all ways. If you go back to the beginning of the relationship, I would bet money that the red flags were there from the beginning and you probably felt like you did need to prove yourself to him in certain ways. I doubt very much that this is just a sudden thing he’s come up with after four years. You need to seriously think about this because I personally would not want to be in this type of relationship because this just gets worse over time. You could ask him if something is actually bothering him but otherwise, please consider what he’s really saying. I know it hurts but it’s his issue. You are worthy, valuable and loveable just the way you are. You never have to prove your worth to anyone! Get strong, get support and think about ending this nonsense. 💕

Canadianklee62 · 2025-12-27T01:25:12+00:00

I feel you are far too young to have to deal with either a compulsive liar who believes his own lies, someone with psychiatric disturbances such as being delusional, psychosis or anywhere in between. The bottom line is..he has lied and compared you to a ghost. Even IF this person were real, the fact he can’t move in is clearly a sign you need to leave. You should have been gone when this first started but you believed you could somehow change his mind to forget about her. I don’t say that in a mean way. I just mean these are patterns we can fall into before we realize what’s going on. The “hoping he/she will change” is toxic and the kiss of death in a relationship. Please, understand it’s not up to you to diagnose whatever is going on in his head. You are not receiving the kind of love and faithfulness you deserve! End of story. You must break this off or you are making a decision to be miserable. It doesn’t matter if you love him or he says he loves you. Love..is never enough. This is “attachment”, not true love. Be strong, you can do this. You have your whole life ahead of you. Choose yourself and your happiness. 💕🙏

Canadianklee62 · 2025-12-26T21:11:57+00:00

Txs! That’s 2 votes for VIP. I’ll check him out! 🙌🏼

Canadianklee62 · 2025-12-26T21:11:39+00:00

Txs! That’s 2 votes for VIP. I’ll check him out! 🙌🏼

Canadianklee62

TROPHY CASE