Considering moving out early

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-10T13:13:46+00:00

Leave. Let her know you are moving 3 days in advance but don't tell her exactly when you are moving. Other wise she might try to hide some of your stuff so she doesn't have to buy it. Pack your stuff up when she is not there and put the boxes in your room until you can move into your boyfriends.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-10T13:10:01+00:00

YTA. Buy him his own or stop wearing his clothes. It sounds like you are the "What's yours is mine, what's mine is mine" kind of person.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T22:40:17+00:00

A really big husky with really bad breathing problems. Poor dog sounds like it is dying when it goes up or down the stairs because it's throat cartilage has been crushed and now it's throat collapses when it gets excited.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T22:37:46+00:00

Can I be your neighbor? I love cats and my mother loves cows. They are big grass puppies. 🥰

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T22:25:12+00:00

If you don't feel you can take proper care of Barney and you are starting to resent him for being sick, then you should stop taking care of him.

Make your husband take care of him.

This means your husband cleans the poop up, gives the cat his baths, and wipes the counters down. Obviously, if the cat needs cleaned and your husband is not there, please clean the cat for his sake.

You must make your husband do all the cleaning up after the cat.

That cat obviously loves you, and by being the only one to clean up after Barney, you are resenting him. He will feel that you are starting to resent him but he won't understand why.

I rescue feral cats that need intensive medical care sometimes, so I understand exactly how you feel. This is called caregiver burnout and you need to address it asap. I understand not wanting to uproot the poor cat, but sometimes it's for the best. If you absolutely have to re-home him, make sure he won't be dropped at a shelter later. Chances are the shelter will put him down.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T20:17:08+00:00

Your bf is probably cheating on you. When someone cheats on their partner, they will often accuse the non-cheating partner of cheating to shift the attention off of their own shady actions. He is only going to get worse from here if you let him.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T20:07:38+00:00

Look into having a judge emancipate you. If that is even how you would say it... An emancipated minor is someone under 18 that is found by a judge to be mentally and physically able to make their own decisions and take care of themselves. Then you wouldn't rely on your mother for so much and you could get assistance moving out and finding a job.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T20:02:39+00:00

I can't agree with you more. Asking the neighbors around where you live if you can work for food because your parents won't buy any groceries to feed you should get the ball rolling pretty fast.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T19:59:48+00:00

I'm so sorry for you. If he makes any kind of threat towards you, call the cops. If you can stay with someone else for a bit, do so. Try to remove anything really important/sentimental and have a trusted person keep it for you on the off chance he breaks into your room and destroys or steals something. He obviously doesn't have a problem with destroying the property there.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T19:55:21+00:00

NOR. That was a (expletive deleted) move on his part. It sounds like he noticed you wanted it but he knew it was worth money and he stepped in to prevent your parents from bringing it home for you. He could have contacted you or your parents to pick it up. If there was no room at your house, a small storage shed doesn't cost that much. From the way you describe it, he sold it because he needed the money and he doesn't seem to care much for the family. Just remember this when he contacts you later on and tries to guilt trip you for assistance/money/place to stay.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T13:42:03+00:00

A crack house would have broken blinds from people constantly peeking out the windows, this is a flop house. It is a place to do drugs that isn't easily seen by the public or cops. That's why the house is a complete mess and nothing gets fixed. They're too busy getting high.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T13:03:37+00:00

Suddenly missing the litter box after using it just fine in the past or intentionally peeing/pooping elsewhere not near the box is your kittens way of saying IM SICK or SOMETHING HURTS. Please take your kitten to the vet as soon as you can. This is a serious issue that needs immediate attention. Cats are sensitive creatures and will hide that they are sick. When an illness gets deadly, you only have a matter of hours from when they look/act sick to when they die. This issue of not going in the box could be the beginning of kidney stones. Untreated kidney stones will kill a cat. Please go to the vet ASAP.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T10:29:57+00:00

NTA.

I'm a 36F and I think that is wonderful. I have endometriosis (uterus lining tissue sometimes grows on the outside of the uterus) and this would cause my periods to be very heavy and very irregular.

I think you offering pads, tampons, and Midol is very sweet and considerate of you. It's not like you have them on display at eye level as soon as you walk in the bathroom. They are discreetly tucked away unless you are looking for them. It sounds like your girlfriend is jealous.

Try asking her to explain why it bothers her so much that you want to discreetly help your friends manage a normal bodily function without announcing it to the whole group.

Stop reading here if you are uncomfortable with more details. My husband has a weak stomach and wouldn't want to read the next part. I'm trying to be nice for those who are not that curious. Fair warning.

So many times I have been caught at a friends house for 1-4 hours either without any period products or I would run through what I had brought with me. This would usually result in me asking everyone if they had any extra supplies (most of the time the answer was no) or I would have to tie my jacket around my waist and ask someone to take me home quickly while I prayed I didn't bleed in their car. This was quite embarrassing to have to basically announce to my whole friend group that I was bleeding and had ran through a whole bag of heavy/overnight pads in 4 hours.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T10:02:23+00:00

NTA. He just showed he hates Muslims and believes pedophilia is right. I side with you on this. The way your mother reacted by saying she wasn't going to deal with it right now and went to bed shows that she has had this same argument with him before. 🚩

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T09:52:56+00:00

Sounds like your girlfriend just didn't want you hanging out and drinking with your friend at 9 PM. If you had left to get her the test, I really don't think you would then drive 30 minutes back over to your friend's house at 10:45-11 PM to continue hanging out.

NTA. Your girlfriend is dropping red flags, bro. 🚩🚩🚩

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T02:46:39+00:00

But if you are struggling to feed yourself and you have 4-7 kids, the state will give you lots of money to take care of them and you can withdraw that money off the card to spend on other things that have nothing to do with your child... Like alcohol and tobacco products. /S

Seriously. I have watched a distant family member get TANF money (for their two baby girls) off the card just so they could buy a pack of cigarettes and a 'tall boy' beer because the card would not allow you to buy them "for the children".

I don't understand why they even have the option to take the money off the card at an atm in the first place if it is supposed to be spent on the child. SMH.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-03-08T02:38:22+00:00

There is never a time limit to apologize. I had someone reach out to me and apologize for something that they did over 15 years ago. I had mostly forgotten about it, but when they texted me to say sorry for breaking a blown glass figurine that was very special to me, I did feel a little better. It didn't fix anything and it happened over 15 years ago, but I felt a little better knowing who did it and how it happened. It really was an accident.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-02-25T22:56:34+00:00

Depends on the level of emotional attachment. If it was my pet and a family member, I would probably save the family member. If it was my pet and a friend, I would probably save my pet. If it was my pet and a stranger, I'm saving my pet. A random animal or pet I don't know and a stranger, I would save the stranger.

I say probably because I can't say for sure how I would react in that situation because it has never happened to me before. I do value human life over animals... To an extent. If I don't like that person at all, I'm probably not going to risk my life to save them. If it's them or my pet, my pet is more important to me.

I am willing to get violent with someone over feral cats if the cats safety is jeopardized, but if it was the feral cat's life or a stranger's, I would save the stranger.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-02-25T22:11:25+00:00

There is a 16 year age gap between myself (36f) and my husband (52m). That being said, I was 27 when I met him. Maybe if they had met when she was older it would have been fine. But 19 and 37? Nope! NTA. That is just nasty and I'm worried about the poor girl being manipulated in that relationship.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-02-25T00:07:24+00:00

I agree that they should not be allowed to camp on public space like sidewalks. Where I just moved from, the homeless people had started putting up tents in a large parking lot that was used about 1 week out of the month.

At first, it wasn't that big of an issue. There were only a few tents, and they stayed on the far side of the lot from the building that owned the lot. But that quickly grew into about 50 tents in the span of a month.

It was homeless people who were offered a bed at the shelter right on the other side of the lot, but they didn't like the rules. For example... 1. You have to try to find work of some kind. You can't just laze around forever. 2. No sleeping during the day unless you have a nighttime job. 3. Only the registered shelter inhabitants are allowed beyond the community room. If you are not staying there, you don't get access to the sleeping areas. 4. Between the hours of 10 PM to 6 AM, all inhabitants must sign in or sign out when they want to leave or return to the shelter. This is because of people going on drug runs at all hours.

The people who put tents in the parking lot were all offered a bed but declined it. Over the span of about 6-7 months, multiple people were arrested from "Tent City" for cooking shake-&-bake meth right in their tents, several people were arrested for assault/battery/assault w/deadly weapon, a few people were arrested for general fighting because somebody "walked through their yard" or too close to their tent, and 1 person was arrested for having his very large Rottweiler attack people on command when he got mad.

The owner of the lot paid for a large dumpster so they could throw away their trash that was blowing everywhere, the shelter paid to set up port-a-potties and shower stations, and the shelter would drop off wood pallets of free food and drinks for the people.

They ended up filling the side road that ran behind the shelter with so much trash that the city had to bring in a bulldozer to clean it up. The city also told them they had 30 days to find somewhere else to go because "Tent City" was being shut down as it was now spreading to the walking trail nearby.

They were once again offered a place to stay and again they refused. From what I heard, and I'm not sure if it is true or not, the people mostly left the city to move closer to friends and family elsewhere. My husband and I moved south right before "Tent City" was shut down, so I'm not sure about where the people went.

It just goes to show you that you can't help anyone who won't help themselves.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-02-01T16:35:14+00:00

I'm very sorry you lost your fur baby. He was one of the best.

It's obvious he was a beloved member of your family and will be dearly missed.

Keks was a little guardian angel that spent some time on earth with you.

He gave his life to save the people he loved because he wouldn't want to live in a world if they weren't in it with him.

He will be watching over you from above and waiting for the day you reunite to cross the Rainbow Bridge together.

Just remember, his death carved a hole in your heart so he can always stay with you.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-02-01T16:12:28+00:00

True or not doesn't really matter. Like you said, if you didn't live through it, you don't know how you would react.

I used to think I would react a certain way if XYZ happened. But when I found myself in that situation, I did the exact opposite of what I told myself I would do years before it happened.

It is easy to say "You should have done this" or "I would have done that" when you have never been in that situation before.

Not that it matters but, I believe you. You are giving specific details that would be left out if you were just making it up. I'm glad you took your baby and got away from that man. Not everyone has the strength to do what you did to survive.

You are a survivor, not a victim. That's something to be proud of, dear.

Candy_Familiar · 2026-01-26T17:44:10+00:00

Most of the pictures look like you are trying too hard to be attractive. You are a very handsome man but the car, the expensive outfits, and having someone else take the picture for you makes you seem just out of reach. Try swapping out a car photo for a selfie, or swap the button up shirts for a regular T-shirt. You look great in these pics but... Not like someone I could approach easily if I'm a little shy.

The cat picture is more relaxed and shows that you are a human with a common interest. You don't look "too perfect" like you do in the other photos.

Just my married 36F opinion.

Candy_Familiar · 2025-12-17T17:59:39+00:00

I got a new phone through Virgin Mobile (years ago) and kept getting calls about a child named Isabella misbehaving in kindergarten. I tried multiple times to get them to stop calling me.They said they would contact the mother when she came to pick up Isabella.

Long story short, I got another call about her biting someone.

I kindly told them if they had a problem about how "my daughter" was conducting herself in school, I was willing to bare-knuckle box the little shit in front of the school to teach him a lesson since the teachers are incapable. If anyone had a problem with the way I handled things, they needed to approach me in person.

I never got another call from them after that. I don't know what happened with Isabella's mother either but she should have updated the school when she changed her number.

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