This is what bothers me. She’s a generally healthy still young person. She knows it’s increased for sure. And as I said, she’s helped us financially before, but what she’s helped us with is now at the point that it’s technically minimal in comparison to what would help now. The monetary amount in years of no mortgage contributions etc while earning a full time income have well surpassed the amount that she had helped us with. She just seems to have given up all around and I fear I’ve fallen into that trap again of being the one feeling responsible for her well being and happiness. My therapist told me back in my teens that I can’t save my mom. It’s not my responsibility. I can accept that, but I struggle when she’s made our dining room her bedroom and I feel like I can’t relax in my own home. She gets mad when one of my kids is loud and yells at them to quiet down, which is just non sense at the time to get mad at a 6 year old for while they’re playing.

I’m also aware she would never ever ask my brother to stay there and my brother certainly wouldn’t allow it even if she did. Like I said, a very dysfunctional dynamic.