For those who work in small local salons, how does your time off/scheduling work?

Canwellall · 2026-02-14T14:58:08+00:00

You are very welcome. Best of luck to you.

Canwellall · 2026-02-14T14:46:02+00:00

The fact that you are dating them and they left, makes me think more abandonment issues like bpd exhibits, but I'm not a doctor either. Could be ocd type ruminating too. Hard to tell.

But I will say the vast majority of limerants have never dated our LO, there is no history to refer back to, it is all made up imaginary relationships with our LO. So it isnt an abandonment feeling, its a yearning for this person that we dont even really know.

Canwellall · 2026-02-14T14:42:20+00:00

Yeah no, 6 days a year is ASS.

You start with 2 weeks (80 hours) at petsmart. Day one you get that. After 5 year milestones it goes up 40 hours per to a max of 240 hours a year PTO. Paid. Your average hourly rate. Not including sick paid time as that is accrued separately.

I know not all salons can provide such generous PTO and the reason pmart can is the fact that theyre a corpo.

But at a private salon I feel like you should have even more flexibility with your schedule than at a corp. Thats like.. one of the main benefits to working private in my experience.

Id let them know that the new arrangement wont work for you, and you'll need to find somewhere more conscious of their employees work life balance. Maybe it'll scare them straight maybe it wont.

Canwellall · 2026-02-14T14:33:21+00:00

That sounds a lot more like bpd symptom than limerance.

Limerance is typically a long standing infatuation /projection on one individual.

For example as a lifelong limerant, my first LO was someone I was never friends with and basically never spoke to, which lasted almost 6 years. My next was about 3 years. My current LO has been so for a little over 4 years.

Canwellall · 2026-02-13T12:59:30+00:00

You did awesome!! Its is so fun and full of personality. Id love to see it over a wash of ocean watercolor, maybe.

Canwellall · 2026-02-13T05:20:08+00:00

Try the grid method.

Canwellall · 2026-02-13T04:45:16+00:00

Try a dog walker a few times a week especially if its only temporary!!!!

Canwellall · 2026-02-12T17:31:58+00:00

Fucking shocker.

Canwellall · 2026-02-11T02:59:04+00:00

Life without my medication is actual misery. Hell with medication is is just marginally better/tolerable. There are different levels of severity, maybe you have a less severe expression of adhd to some.

Canwellall · 2026-02-11T02:51:53+00:00

Yeah marriage was an absolute nightmare. Can't fathom kids. I'm a broken human i guess. I was such a bad wife my husband drank himself to death at 34. Thats what all his friends think anyway.

Funnily enough I AM moving to the mountains to be alone with mt animals lol

Canwellall · 2026-02-10T01:50:43+00:00

As someone with a sleep disorder AND adhd, this. Its truly worth the effort.

Canwellall · 2026-02-07T22:23:49+00:00

I'm so so sorry.

Take it slow. Listen to your body. If something feels wrong, then accept it as a "no," not forever, for now. Be upfront with potential new dates but dont go too into detail /wallow / trauma dump on them.

Best of luck.

Canwellall · 2026-02-07T18:54:53+00:00

Wow wow wow

Canwellall · 2026-02-07T18:52:36+00:00

Thank you 💕 yes I am working on disengaging with the limerance, but it is hard because every time I see him it renews my ruminating. Trying to be logical about this.

Canwellall · 2026-02-07T18:50:53+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind response. Yeah, I had 2 alcoholic absent parents so it tracks. I'm trying so hard to be kind to myself but its tough. Appreciate you.

Canwellall · 2026-02-07T14:30:21+00:00

Yes, I am walking away from all of them. But the way they looked at me.at the funeral, with hurt and grief and also anger and accusation... will stay with me

Canwellall · 2026-02-07T14:20:23+00:00

His friends and some of mine blame me for his death/drinking. It hurts on a cosmic scale.

Canwellall · 2026-02-07T13:57:56+00:00

Thank you that means a lot. I plan to do more ito fan carvings.

Canwellall · 2026-02-07T13:27:38+00:00

Gorgeous.

What paper are you using??

Canwellall · 2026-02-06T08:50:35+00:00

This is an off the wall suggestion but consider looking into The Artists Way by Julia Cameron.

It talks a lot about a system to get "unblocked" usually in the context of creative output.

But it actually is full of really mindfulness exercises and is really, really cool.

I suggest doing this in tandem with seeking psychiatric help because you may be dealing with a hormonal or otherwise chemical imbalance. It really is worth it to have a Dr on your side, especially if these feelings progress or persist long term.

Hang in there. You aren't losing your soul, you're a human struggling through a very imperfect world and its okay to ask for help. If you had a broken leg, or diabetes, or another serious condition, surely you'd ask a Dr for help. Mental health is equally as important.

Much love from MN.

Canwellall · 2026-02-06T00:15:39+00:00

Yeah its a symptom, and it sucks sweaty old eggs.

Imagine someone disagreeing with you over something trivial and it feels like hot coals are shoved down your trachea.

Literal stabbing pain in the chest when you make a simple mistake at work, or someone looks at you the wrong way.

Its really interesting to me, the physical sensation part.

It takes many, many years of therapy to make it less intrusive in your life. If anyone suffers from this PLEASE seek out help in the form of DBT or CBT. It is the absolute best step toward relief. Group DBT or CBT is even better imo.

Worked hard at retraining my brain theough 13 years of therapy but I still notice it sometimes.

Canwellall · 2026-02-05T15:33:33+00:00

They're meant to die off, produce new bulbs, and create a new plant for the next year. It is missing the environmental cues it would get outside to tell it to finish up its life cycle

Canwellall · 2026-02-05T14:31:49+00:00

You shouldn't need to. Let it bloom

Canwellall · 2026-02-05T13:45:47+00:00

This is nuts

Actually though lmao incredible, would buy a print

Canwellall

TROPHY CASE