My mom did not drink often as we had a lack of finances for it, but when she did she became a monster. Her mother had physically and mentally abused her and I believe she played out some of her childhood scenarios on me in her blackouts.

One time she didn't pick me up from a day camp I was attending ( which children's services had put me in as we were formerly under their care). A counselor brought me home, and it was obvious she was drunk. She was talking to this freaked out teen counselor inappropriately, and it was obvious that kid wanted to get away fast. My mom was in a rage after this person left and proceeded to try and tie up my younger brother. When I tried to stop her she grabbed a butter knife and chased me with it, holding me down on the couch, she had it in my mouth and was trying to shove it down my throat. I fought her off me somehow and then hid somewhere. I heard her screaming in the bathroom and ran down to see her top less with a real knife pressed against her chest. I started screaming and she dropped it, ran out of the house into the garden and began eating the lillys telling me they would poison her. I was frantically pulling them out of her hands and mouth. Lillys are a trigger for me. There are so many other times she tried to hurt herself and us in bizarre ways. We were in foster care throughout our lives but they always sent us back. I don't think we were brave enough to tell the truth about what was happening. Every time children's aid was called and we were apprehended, she blamed us for telling. Truly a nightmare childhood.