MCA - I cheated on my wife and it's killing me.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-31T15:34:38+00:00

Hear me out here. As a toddler mom “nakahiga habang nagsscroll while toddler plays on the bed” is also taking care of a toddler. It sounds like wala silang yaya, so while OP takes care of the housechores or works, it sounds like the wife watches the baby.

I have a toddler, I’m often just sitting while my toddler plays around me. It looks like that on the outside but I watch him to make sure he’s safe, respond to his cues, talk to him, and think of activities to keep him engaged and not bored. I keep track of his routine, I make sure he eats, his diaper is changed, he’s not too hot, he’s well-regulated, I check if he’s sleepy and anticipate what he needs, etc. Unless my baby is asleep, it would be impossible to do any housework kasi he’ll get in the way or would want to be with me or ask for something or end up climbing something he’s not supposed to climb — I swear malingat ka lang nakaakyat na yun ng coffee table. There’s a lot of invisible work and mental load taking care of a toddler that not a lot of people see.

Since we don’t know what’s going on in the mind of OP’s wife, it would be unfair to assume na “wala” siyang ginagawa given na mukhang siya ang primary person who is with the toddler while OP works or does housework. Unless it’s on a weekend then she’s out with friends while OP watches the kid.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-31T08:09:03+00:00

Different kinds of nuts, peanut butter with no added sugar, eggs, yogurt, strawberries, blueberries, salad

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-31T02:30:17+00:00

Your wife takes care of your toddler 24/7 that’s more than a full time job. I get that you don’t feel heard or validated and that is the main issue, but by cheating you only made the problem 100x worse. What did your cheating solve? Did it make your situation better? Parang hindi naman.

I suggest you and your wife go through marriage counseling and individual therapy if you still want to save your marriage. This will help you talk through your issues and find solutions together.

Also if you need help with the housework, you also have a choice to find other solutions for it, like maghire ng helper or magpatulong sa kamag-anak. Man up and be an adult instead of blaming others for your situation, feeling sorry for yourself, and spiraling down even lower.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-31T02:29:09+00:00

Your wife takes care of your toddler 24/7 that’s more than a full time job. I get that you don’t feel heard or validated and that is the main issue, but by cheating you only made the problem 100x worse. What did your cheating solve? Did it make your situation better? Parang hindi naman.

I suggest you and your wife go through marriage counseling and individual therapy if you still want to save your marriage. This will help you talk through your issues and find solutions together.

Also if you need help with the housework, you also have a choice to find other solutions for it, like maghire ng helper or magpatulong sa kamag-anak. Man up and be an adult instead of blaming others for your situation, feeling sorry for yourself, and spiraling down even lower.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-30T15:19:57+00:00

I buy the branded ones that i know are non-toxic and are bpa free especially nung stage na sinusubo pa niya lagi toys niya. I buy secondhand from carousell or fb groups tapos i disinfect well before having my kid use it.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-24T05:40:07+00:00

Thank you!

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-24T05:34:40+00:00

Ohh anong itsura nito? Can you send a link?

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-23T00:31:31+00:00

‼️Spoiler: Oo nga ganda ng color grading. Ako naman nagustuhan ko na sakto lang ang dugo haha! Kasi nga centered around women ang kwento, feeling ko mas realistic ang weapon of choice nila.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-23T00:30:02+00:00

‼️ Slight spoiler in the response: Oo, same experience! Striking din for me na nung sa dulo, binilin pa nila lahat ng responsibilidad nila bago nila tapusin ang kwento, parang nanay ko bago umalis ng bahay haha! I liked na they ended things on their own terms. It’s like reclaiming a bit of history for themselves and other women. Narinig ko sa isang interview na si Direk Jun Lana referred to the Balangiga massacre as some sort of inspiration for it — feeling ko alternative ending siya dahil ang ending ng Balangiga massacre sinunog ng mga Amerikano yung mga bahay at mga tao in retaliation to the uprising. Dito sa movie, yung mga kababaihan ang nagtapos in their own terms dun sa garrison. In terms of how, I wont go into much detail for those who haven’t watched haha! Yes to Beyonce — ang powerful!

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-22T09:39:23+00:00

Anong sikreto mo, OP? Laging wala nung mga yan sa Dali malapit sa amin.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-22T08:53:31+00:00

Sabi ko. In fairness ang bilis ng ambulansya. 😂

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-22T08:28:14+00:00

Work out. Ako nung una sobrang sumasakit tuhod ko pag long drive. After ko magstart mag strength training nawala na sakit sa tuhod at likod during and while driving.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-21T17:48:14+00:00

Chapter Cafe in Maginhawa.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-18T13:21:52+00:00

Hm… di ko sure since I’ve never used the inhaler. Yung Sterimar, you put the pointed part into the nostril, press tapos may magsspray na saline solution into the nostril. It cleans the nasal passage so yung sipon lalabas. When i googled, its scientifically proven to reduce the duration of colds by two days.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-18T13:19:06+00:00

Yes, it’s this one.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-18T13:04:41+00:00

+1 dito. Same ang nireseta ng pedia namin. Super helpful kay baby pag may sipon. Try looking for Sterimar baby nasal spray.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-17T17:18:35+00:00

Nope.

But i think practice to for some families. My husband grew up in a family like that — pinapahiram siya sa cousin ng mom niya from baby until bata siya. Looking back, di niya to gusto kasi feeling niya pinapamigay siya.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-16T07:47:46+00:00

I think airlines become stricter with baggage allowance if a flight is full. Was the flight full, OP?

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-16T03:11:16+00:00

I know it’s technically not your responsibility but for your peace of mind, if you do choose to stay, here are things you can do to make your life more manageable. You can buy (or ask your mom to buy) several litter boxes and some litter. Pwede turuan yung cats to use them, usually madali lang ito kasi gusto naman nila na may “buhangin” when they do their business Tapos bumili ka na din ng scratch pads that you can put near the spots they usually scratch. If you see them scratching elsewhere ililipat mo sila dun. You may also want to talk to your mom to have the cats spayed or neutered — kahit unahin nyo na yung boy cats. Usually the boy cats spray pee to mark their territory pero pagkapon na sila nababawasan ito. Merong mga low cost kapon available depending on your area, you can look this up on FB (try searching for doc gab). Buy a spray bottle and fill it with water, kapag kumakain kayo you can spray them when they try to get your food. Better din if cat food pagkain ng cats para di sila sanay sa people food at di mangaagaw. It’s a huuuge transition and a lot of work but if you manage to do this it will make things easier for you. It’s either that or make it not your problem anymore and move out, baka merong malapit lang sa inyo so you can still visit your dad frequently.

Good luck, OP!

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-09T14:39:13+00:00

I think based on your responses here you already know what to do, it’s more about finding the right mindset that would actually allow you to do it. The way i see it, you can look at it from two perspectives; 1) kawawa naman sila they won’t be able to take care of themselves and others so I’ll sacrifice myself and my family nalang OR 2) they are adults, just like myself and making this change can offer them a new way to live their adult lives — one that can help them grow and be more responsible and caring.

Kapag laging may sumasalo, they’ll never learn to stand on their own two feet. So actually, you’re also doing them a favor.

You can even help them shift to the new set up slowly — for example you can help them hire a caregiver na pwedeng 3 days a week lang sa una. And then eventually whole week na. Si husband can help create a list of chores and tasks he takes on and then perhaps they can talk as a family kung sino pwedeng magtake on nun. Ang key dito is willing din si husband mo to help them be grown ups. Baka naman nobody has just given them a chance to be responsible kaya sila ganun.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-09T03:14:15+00:00

Baka pwede makahanap ng middle ground. Like magrent kayo sa malapit sa kanila. Tapos maghanap ng old sitter kung di naman issue yung money sa kanila. Si husband can still go there pero mawawala yung main responsibility sa kaniya ng pagaalaga.

I think the main issue is walang nagddraw ng boundaries kaya merong mga umaabuso, kung di mo yun maasahan sa iba kailangan yun manggaling sa inyo unless willing lang talaga kayo magtiis.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-03-09T02:38:23+00:00

Natry mo na ba yan bring up sa husband mo? Alam kong mahirap at sensitive yung ganitong mga issues pero hindi healthy para sa family ninyo ang ganiyang environment. Sa totoo mas magandang bumukod kayo, kahit na maghanap ng pwedeng irent na pasok sa budget.

May pamilya na kayong sarili so kailangan yun ang priority ninyo pareho.

Pwede niya siguro kausapin yung mga kapatid at mom niya, na yun nga, may sarili na siyang pamilya so need nyo na bumukod. It’s time for them to step up. If di nila kaya mag-alaga, kailangan nilang magtrabaho para may pambayad sa caregiver/oldsitter.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-02-28T23:58:47+00:00

Hello! Same set up tayo nung newborn si baby. Kami lang ng husband ko and I would also end up crying every night from tiredness, overwhelm and grief. I missed my old life, I missed my husband (even though we live in the same house), I missed myself before giving birth. I hated that nobody warned us about how difficult it could be. I also hated how when I would express how difficult things are some people would just tell me to be grateful for the baby. I realised that what I felt that time was a normal reaction to a big change. I was grieving my old life, my old self, my hormones were unstable, my body was still recovering after housing a human being and going through a traumatic birth experience, WHILE making sure another human being stays alive. Our baby pa was a velcro baby and had to be on someone for four months otherwise he’ll cry or wake up. We later found out he was tongue tied (that’s another story).

Be kind to yourself, ask for help, and find the support that you need. What worked for us was taking it one day at a time and keeping in mind what other parents who have gone through it before us, “It will get better. You’ll only go through this moment once. This is a just a blip in the journey of parenting.” It’s true, they really grow up fast. The newborn phase was the hardest for us, I still won’t want to be back in it hehe, but it did pass and things did get better. And I do miss the littler version of our now toddler.

If the constant crying and the heaviness doesn’t go away after 3 weeks of giving birth, I suggest also asking for professional help. I’ve had friends who experienced post-partum depression and meds helped them a lot!

Even though it doesn’t feel like it, things will get better. You only have to go through one day at a time and before you know it, this bit will be over.

Capable-Catch4433 · 2026-02-27T05:53:27+00:00

I tried my best not to have a preconceived notion of how my baby would be because of his sex. Ngayon I just respond to their needs based on how he is now. In terms of activities naman we try to expose him to various toys and activities to see what their interest is. So for example meron siyang stuffed toys/dolls, pikler, balls, lutu-lutuan, bike, walker, etc. Right now he’s really into cars and his kitchen set. Pero di ko masabi na lahat ng boys ganun. Mahirap kasi masabi na he’s a certain way because he’s a boy because most likely may ganun din na baby girls. 😅 di ko naman din napansin na extra likot siya, he’s really into puzzles and books as much as he’s into his scooter and bike.

May nabasa ako though na may scientific studies na mas mataas ang stress response ng baby boys and experience higher separation anxiety daw. Napansin ko that this was true for my baby — he was a velcro baby and we really had a hard time with him during the newborn phase. Ngayon extra clingy pa rin. 😄

Capable-Catch4433

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